婚姻之于爱情，不只是一道枷锁

婚姻之于爱情，不只是一道枷锁

生活是种律动，须有光有影，有左有右，有晴有雨，而滋味就含在这变而不猛的曲折里。                                                  ——老舍

Speaking of marriage, each person would have different opinions and reactions.

说到婚姻，每个人都会有不同的看法和反应。

Some people think that marriages are a hot bed of happiness, to live with the one you love and who loves you.

有些人认为，婚姻是幸福的温床，是与你爱的人和爱你的人生活在一起。

Some people think it could be the grave of love;

还有些人认为，婚姻是爱情的坟墓；

even the strongest love would become boring after a long marriage.

即使是最浓烈的爱情，也会在漫长的婚姻生活中，慢慢变得乏味。

Some people choose to get married just because they think they have to.

有些人选择结婚，只是因为他们认为，他们必须要结婚了。

They have pressures from their families and perhaps the social environment.

他们有来自家庭和社会环境的压力。

So it would be easier for them to just find someone to marry to remove these pressures.

所以，找一个人结婚，是消除这些压力的比较容易的方法。

Some people are confused about the meaning of a marriage.

还有些人，常常对婚姻的意义感到困惑。

In fact, no matter what you regard marriage as;

事实上，不管你怎么看待婚姻；

there are some truths about it.

都会有一些道理。

Agreed or not, they are there!

不管你赞同与否，他们就在这里！

The hope and uncomplicated joy of a wedding is often a stark contrast to the real-life challenges of day-to-day married life.

婚礼带来的，是希望和简简单单的快乐，而它又常常和日复一日婚姻生活的现实挑战，形成鲜明的对比。

How are couples supposed to maintain the best parts of the early days of their relationship amid the slings and arrows of day-to-day life?

那么，夫妻该如何在风风雨雨、锅碗瓢盆的日常生活中，保持最初恋爱时的美好呢？

1，

Marriage can't be maintained by emotion alone, but it should be balanced by many elements.

婚姻不能光靠感情维系，应该有多种元素去平衡。　　

The love that can withstand the poverty and the test of life and death will often lose to the plain fleeting time.

经得起贫穷和生死考验的爱情，往往会输给平淡的流年。

The biggest threat to a marriage is not death or poverty, it is the daily trivial matters.

对于婚姻最大的威胁，不是死亡，也不是贫穷，而是日常的生活琐事。

Basing a marriage on “love” ONLY may carry many risks.

把婚姻仅仅建立在“爱情”上，只会带来许多风险。

From my point of view, a good marriage contains the following elements: love, responsibility, understanding, effective listening, patience, appreciation, common interests, care, kindness, trust, fairness and so on.

我觉得，一个好的婚姻要包含以下要素：爱，责任，理解，有效的倾听，耐心，彼此欣赏，共同兴趣，关心，善良，信任，公平等等。

2，

Focus on changing ourselves rather than others, you will find peace in your marriage.

专注于改变自己而不是别人，这样，你才会在婚姻中找到安宁。

Many of us try very hard to change others, even we clearly know that it is not necessary and it is impossible.

我们中的许多人，总是试图努力的去改变别人，即使我们清楚的知道，这是没必要的，也是不可能的。

Because others can't be changed, at least not to the state of your satisfaction.

因为，别人是无法改变的，至少无法改变到你满意的状态。

If you can successfully change yourself, then your partner will notice that with appreciation.

如果你能成功地改变自己，那么你的伴侣将会欣赏并注意到这些。

and he/she may rethink what he/she has to change, then things are going to be better.

并且，他/她可能也会重新考虑必须改变一些什么，然后情况就会越来越好。

It is a positive cycle. If you failed to change yourself, what could you expect others do?

这是一个良性循环，如果你都没有改变自己，你又怎么能指望别人改变什么呢？

If we could truly accept the above statement, you will find peace in your marriage.

如果我们能真正的接受以上的观点，那么你将会在婚姻中找到和平。

3，

If you have some secrets, then accept the truth that your partner has his/hers.

如果你有一些不愿让对方知道的隐私，那就接受你的伴侣也有一些他/她的秘密吧。

I have always believed that everyone has some secrets that would last for a lifetime.

我一直相信，每个人都有一些伴随一生的秘密。

It is not a smart idea to expose everything under the sun.

把所有东西都暴露在阳光下，不是一个聪明的主意。

Stop peeking his/her record of chatting, his/her messages.

不要去偷看他/她的聊天记录，以及他/她的短信消息。

The rule of respecting other's privacy applies on your partner too.

尊重他人隐私的个人原则，也同样适用于你的伴侣。

4，

If you don't really want to divorce, or it is not your final decision yet after a rational consideration, please don't repeat that.

如果你不是真的想要离婚，或者在理性考虑之后，这不是你的最终决定，请不要重复。

It could bring nothing else but worries, pains and possible disasters.　

它只会带来忧虑、痛苦和可能的灾难。

When the number of stating “divorce” reaches a critical level, a divorce may become inevitable.

当你说出“离婚”的次数达到一定数量时，离婚可能会变得不可避免。

5，

As time goes, responsibility becomes the major factor.

随着时间的推移，责任会成为婚姻稳固的主要因素。

Love and marriage are linked but it does not mean love must result in a marriage.

虽然，爱情和婚姻是相互关联的，但这并不意味着爱情会以婚姻作为结局。　　

In a word, the biggest difference between love and marriage is the RESPONSIBILITY!

总之，爱情和婚姻最大的区别在于责任！

All I can say is that a good marriage would double your happiness, lead you to a positive future.

所有这些，我想说的是，美满的婚姻会使你的幸福加倍，使你走向一个积极的未来。

You could have someone to rely on, to talk with, to share your laughs, listen to your complaints…

你可以有人依靠，有人交谈，一起分享你的欢笑，倾听你的抱怨……

Certainly, marriage is not a fairy tale, it has some “cruel” facts and it needs our wisdom and compromise.

当然，婚姻并不是童话，它总有一些残酷的事实，并且需要我们拥有足够的智慧和适当的妥协。