- During the period of the Seventh Five-Year Plan we must in no way neglect, even in the slightest degree, the production of grain, but should keep it growing stedadily.
这里出现了镜像重复(mirror-image statement), 决不能忽视...一点也不能....必须...
决不能忽视...一点也不能 = Never
but 换成 on the contrary, 对比更突出一些
During the period of the Seventh Five-Year Plan we must never neglect the grain production, on the contrary, we must steadily increase it.
- After public grain and taxes are placed under the administration of the Central People's Government, local comrades should not only refrain from adopting a passive and irresponsible attitude toward financial and economic work, but also show a more active and responsible attitude toward it.
典型的镜像重复，不仅不能消极。。。而且要积极。。。
第一反应修改的是，直接去掉消极那一段，改用 Must show active.... 即可。
不过作者还是保留了消极那一段，只是换了个说法 far from losing interest in ...
另外，作者的修改稿中没有提到一次 attitude，这里留个待解问题 why，参考第一章的内容（我因为直接跳过了第一章，所以这部分待以后回看第一章再补）
After public grain and taxes are placed under the administration of the Central People's Government, comrades in local governments, far from losing interest in financial and economic work, should take even greater responsiblity for it.
- Compared with the more than a hundred million workers and staff members in state-owned enterprises and institutions of the whole country, the number of hired workers is very small. Judging from the situations as a whole, their number is only a very small one.
这个很明显重复了，两段类似的比较，不过比较的范围不一样，也不好直接去掉，那就把 small 换掉，同义词比如 few 也不错
这段还有个问题是，指代不明，比较的对象分别是什么，没有说清楚。
第一段比较，貌似是国企也私企？国企说了，但后面只说了 hired workers, 具体指那些工人不明。
第二段比较，整体貌似是指全国吧（国企+私企）
Compared with the more than a hundred million workers and administrative personnel in public enterprises and institutions throughout the country, the number of prviately hired workers is very small. In terms of the overall situation, there are only a few of them.
- Things are getting better with us very passing day and can't be getting worse.
在变好。。。不会变坏。。。是有点啰嗦，而且时间模糊，原文是想说 我们（生活）现在在变好，以后也不会变坏，就好像历史的车轮不会倒退一样。
Things are getting better for us with very passing day, and the tide of progress cannot be turned back.
- China's strategy for scientific and technoligical development must be both forward-looking and fair-sighted, and it must serve the development of the present and future, not the past
这个直接看作者的建议，他提出这里的 serve 用的不对，没有 serve the past 说法，过去的不再，如何服务之？ 换成 adapt to 就合理了
China's strategy for scientific and technoligical development must be both forward-looking and fair-sighted, and it must be adapted to the development of the present and future, not the past
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