The Sacred Discontent

Mystically, the world that we live in is flooded with dissatisfaction and complaints about our weaknesses and imperfections, communication failures, financial crises, health threats, to name but a few. We’d pay all possible cost to live up to those expectations and steer on full speed in the direction that has the lowest chance to encounter disappointment and accusation. This entrenched perfectionism and relentless denial generated both intrinsically and extrinsically weigh us down and devour our self-worthiness without us knowing that we’re in fact miserable because of it. Once this built-in fear of imperfection is settled, it becomes our intuitive response to dread and devalue discontent, depriving us of the opportunity to perceive it in a more positive light.

Such negative evaluation is not loser-bound and winner-exclusive, as we might have assumed. People who are more competent and capable, like Howard Schults (Starbucks’ chairman, president and CEO) and Natalie Portman (film actress, producer, writer, and director), admitted experiencing impostor syndrome at the prime of their career during interviews or in public speech. Despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing this phenomenon remain convinced that they are frauds, and do not deserve all they have achieved. Remarks like that should not be translated as more persuasive arguments against discontent, but evidence that people are able to outsmart it and produce good results.

Dissatisfaction is no stranger to the artists. To be more precise, it is regarded as a divine blessing that motivates them to create more topnotch artworks surpassing their own techniques and existing standards. The sacred discontent, which lies in the core of craftsmanship, is what they owe their capability and credibility to. They’re fueled to perceive things under a more illuminating light, tackle things from a more distinctive angle, and approach their own creations with a more critical eye, allowing them to surpass the spectrum of human appreciations and enter the palace of transcendence. Legendary painter of all times, Leonardo da Vinci, would practice and ponder upon dozens of drafts before he started to draw a painting.

It’s not just the case with the artists, in fact, people in general can be the beneficiaries of discontent as long as we learn to perceive it differently: to see it as a friend or alliance instead of a stranger or adversary. A negative feedback is, in essence, inevitable, whoever we are, whatever we do or wherever we live. Not always our fault, but an authentic, harsh verdict of the situation that we’re facing: incompatibility. Could be capabilities or resources not being compatible with achievement, criteria, or personal preferences.—Not trying to cover up for its destructive powers, such evaluation is capable of igniting our fury and alerting our defense system. And we’re turned into those aggressive soldiers who fight back with dispute, not pretty nor wise. To intercept this link, we should numb our personal emotions (especially in a business setting) that’s gonna cloud our judgment, neutralize the threat we sense from the intense reaction, and listen to and communicate with whoever’s involved in the process, like the way we treat our friends—we don’t fight them, we embrace them despite of all our differences. And that’s literally the first step towards more constructive opinions and solutions.

Next time, when we wanna complain about or are being complained about something, count down to ten or take a deep breath till we’ve regained our composure and control over our feelings. Don’t say a word if we still have the urge to lash out our anger. Then record every detail and analyze all factors that lead to the disappointing situation to locate the causes and seek for improvement. Take it as an uplifting chance to help us get somewhere higher. For example, I’m well-aware of the overwhelming presence of my constant discontent about both myself and my work as a perfectionist (aka the most highly suicidal group). I used to find it devastating to write a piece of essay coz I was either disappointed with my handwriting or the content during the process of writing and always ended up tearing off pages I’d written and become more furious about my inability. It was so mentally draining that I literally stopped writing for a long time till I figured out a more healthy way to embrace it. Once I learned that it’s an inescapable fate that we all share, but rare opportunity that we could seize, it wasn’t as scary as before. Remember, whenever we feel dissatisfied, tell ourselves that we’re on the verge of a change, a change for better.

The Sacred Discontent