题目：

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievement, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

分析:

名人都在靠财富和魅力出名而非成就。这对年轻人树立了不好的榜样。
这是一个比较容易用完全赞同的观点来写。

Pay too much attention to/ be so fussy about/ be greatly concerned about their appearance

This mindset of the perfect figure is creating pressure among teenagers

Dye hair, tattoo, neglect their studies

follow his footsteps in terms of fashion and style

success can be achieved easily, and that school work is not necessary

Wealth, capital, luxury lifestyle

Teens/ the young/ teenage/ juvenile/ youths
utilitarian purpose

There has been undesirable trend in recent years towards the worship of money

encourages youngsters to buy things unnecessarily

good- looking， fabulously wealthy
their whole hard working journey and achievements
essential to fight for our dreams by being a hardworking and perseverant person

词组积累：

花瓶
visually appealing persons ， eye candy，eye-catching in a superficial fashion

因...而出名
be famous for; be known for; achieve fame for; gain/win reputation for ...

花钱，花时间
Sb spend time doing sth; spend time on sth
It takes sb some time to do sth
It costs sb some money to do sth

多种多样的
a variety of ...; varieties of ...

举例
Take sb, title, as an example, who did sth.
Taking sb, title, as an example, he did sth

倾向于
tend to do sth; be prone to do sth; incline to do sth; be inclined to do sth; have the propensity to do sth

第一次写

As the development of multimedia, more and more news of celebrity is exposed and there is a debate as to whether celebrities are known for their capital and good-looking than their accomplishment. From my perspective, although some social media influencers are famous for their wealth and appearance, more superstars are accepted by their performance.

To start with, some influencers are termed as eye candy which means they do achieve fame by their good-looking and have no talent and skills. They spend plenty of time on dressing up in order to appear in a gossip magazine and attend to a variety show, which give rise to a negative trend that more and more youngsters are so fussy about their appearance. The teens are easily to follow their idol’s footstep in terms of fashion and style, dye their hair and tattoo. They are prone to believe that success can be easily achieved and school work is not significant.

In addition, other celebrities are famous for their luxury lifestyle. Those people inheriting money from their parents or marrying a successful entrepreneur devote their life to attending parties and nightclubs. This causes a lamentable fact that there is an undesirable trend in recent years towards the worship of money. Juveniles are encouraged to buy something expensive but unnecessary after knowing their idol’s wealth. They tend to produce a wrong concept that everything could be solved by money.

However, there are at least as many superstars who rely on their accomplishments and achievements to become the excellent model for young people. Take a famous basketball player as an example, Kobe Bryant worked hard to practice the basketball skills. He said a famous sentence,“I know the appearance of Los Angeles at 4 am every day!”, to inspire teenagers to fight for their dreams by being a hardworking and perseverant people.

To sum up, youths can be negatively impacted by celebrities who only flaunt their riches and appearance. However, there are more celebrities act as a positive role models for children and the young.

文章论点没有问题，有些语法问题，和表达可以更地道

to catch the public’s eyes （吸引眼球）
the trend of money worship has become more prominent （拜金主义盛行）
after knowing their idol endorse them （再知道偶像代言后）
develop a wrong value （培养了错误的价值观）
only fortune could bring people virtually happy （只有钱能带来幸福）
characterized as eye candy （被形容为花瓶）

第二次写

As the development of multimedia, more and more news of celebrity is exposed and there is a debate as to whether celebrities are known for their capital and good looking than their accomplishment. From my perspective, although some social media influencers are famous for their wealth and appearance, more superstars are known for their performance.

To start with, some influencers, characterized as eye candy, do achieve fame by for their good looking and have little talent and skills.They spend plenty of time on dressing up in order to appear in a gossip magazine and attend to a reality show, which gives rise to a negative trend that more and more youngsters follow their idol’s footstep in terms of fashion and style, dying their hair and making tattoo. They are prone to become so fussy about their appearance, as they believe that success can be easily achieved by appearance attraction and school work is not significant.

In addition, there exists some other celebrities who are famous for their luxury lifestyle. Those inheriting money from their parents or marrying a successful entrepreneur tend to devote their life to parties and nightclubs to catch the public’s eyes. This causes a lamentable fact that the trend of money worship has become more prominent. Juveniles are encouraged to buy something expensive but unnecessary after knowing their idol endorse them. They tend to develop a wrong value that only fortune could bring people virtually happy.

However, there are at least as many superstars who rely on their accomplishments and achievements to become the excellent model for young people.They demonstrate great effort, determination and ambition, which is required for someone who wants to be truly successful in their chosen field. Take Kobe Bryant, a famous basketball player, as an example, who worked hard to practice the basketball skills. His words“I know the appearance of Los Angeles at 4 am every day!”, inspire teenagers to fight for their dreams by being a hardworking and perseverant people.

To sum up, youths can be negatively impacted by celebrities who only flaunt their riches and appearance. However, there are more celebrities acting as positive role models for children and the young.