Day 15:
* strip 常见义不谈。
collocations有strip down to (e.g. underwear)脱到剩下...；strip off;
还可以表示拿走所有东西The thief stripped the house bare.小偷把这座房子洗劫一空
strip sb of sth 剥夺
e.g. He was disgraced and stripped of his titles.
strip away
e.g. His book aims to strip away the lies and show the world as it really is.
原文里的fig.用法很妙：
Innocence ends when one is stripped of the delusion that one likes oneself.
* New vocabulary:
painstaking 需专注的
* flavour除了有味道的意思之外，还可以表示特色，气氛。
e.g. the distinctive flavour of South Florida
* I marvel that a mind on the outs with itself should have nonetheless made painstaking record of its every tremor, I recall with embarrassing clarity the flavor of those particular ashes.
on the outs with: in conflicts with
但是不管是tremor还是embarrassing clarity还是the flavour of those particular ashes都好棒...
Para 1:
Why is it a misplaced self-respect to keep a detailed record of a mind's every tremor?
What is self-respect then?
* unnerved 使紧张
unnerving a.
e.g. an unnerving experience
The neighbourhood is unnervingly quiet.
* exempt from 免除...
e.g. Some students are exempted from certain exams.
* Although even the humorless nineteen-year-old that I was must have recognized that the situation lacked real tragic stature, the day that I did not make Phi Beta Kappa nonetheless marked the end of something, and innocence may well be the word for it.
不多说，写得太好了。
强调19岁，直接来代指人。
tragic stature as a collocation悲剧形象, but here used in a personalising way.
* I lost the conviction that lights would always turn green for me, the pleasant certainty that those rather passive virtues which had won me approval as a child automatically guaranteed me not only Phi Beta Kappa keys but happiness, honor, and the love of a good man; lost a certain touching faith in the totem power of good manners, clean hair, and proved competence on the Stanford-Binet scale.
lights turn green for sb 为...开绿灯
win sb sth
继续膜...
* To such doubtful amulets had my self-respect been pinned, and I faced myself that day with the nonplussed apprehension of someone who has come across a vampire and has no crucifix at hand.
amulet 护身符
pin 固定住
nonplussed 惊呆的
crucifix 耶稣受难像
注意这个将介词词组提前的倒装句式！
Para 2:
The failure marked the end of my innocence.
I began to lose my self-certainty and found out that for so long I had been pinned by such doubtful amulets.
* rather
几种用法总结一下。之前都没怎么整合过。
相当，在某种程度上 a rather difficult situation
（与动词连用以减弱语气）有点，稍微 e.g. I rather suspect we're doing the wrong thing.
更确切地讲 e.g. She worked as a secretary, or rather, a personal assistant.
相反，反而 e.g. The walls were not white, but rather a sort of dirty grey.
* platitude 陈词滥调，老生常谈
* assignation 幽会
* shuffle
拖着脚走（vi.）e.g. The line shuffled forward a little.
打乱次序 e.g. I shuffled the documents on my desk.
[IDIOMS]
lose sb in the shuffle 在混乱中没有注意到，忽略，遗失
e.g. Middle children tend to get lost in the shuffle.
on shuffle 随机播放
e.g. I put the ipod on shuffle and hit play.
Para 3:
This paragraph strikes and smites me.
In that well-lit back alley where we have assignations with ourselves, we strip ourselves of self-delusion and pry into the deepest filthy secrets within our minds.
* interminable 冗长的，没完没了的
* splice 链接
* muff 错过（机会）；做错
e.g. It was really a simple shot, and I muffed it./a muffing opportunity
He muffed his lines.
He muffed his opening speech.
* coverlet 床罩
* sloth 懒惰
* ..., counting up the sins of commission and omission.
[PROVERB] There is a sin of commission as well as omission. 既有不该做而做的事，也有该做而不做的事。这两者都是过错。
经济学领域里有regret of commission and omission 决策后悔
Para 4:
I'm getting rather baffled.
Why do you live WITHOUT self-respect if you count up your failings in retrospect?
I speculate it to be just the opposite...
* unblighted 字典里没有对应的单词
yet there is blight 损害
e.g. His career has been blighted by injuries.
有害的事物，不利的环境
cast a blight on
e.g. His death casted a blight on the whole year.
urban blight 城市里脏乱差的地区
* ambivalent （喜忧参半的，好坏参半的）矛盾情绪的
~ about
~ towards
Para 5:
Okay, it seems that I'm getting to understand...
Self-respect ensures a sound sleep which implies a private reconciliation within one's own mind.
* adultery 通奸
an adulterous relationship
* wronged party 受害方
* lose ground to sb
Para 6:
Self-respect is about the courage of mistakes and the acceptance of responsibilities.
* instil 逐渐灌输，逐步培养（思想，行为，感受等）
instil confidence/fear/discipline into sb
* weigh
weigh sth (up) 认真考虑，权衡
weigh (up) sth against sth
e.g. I weighed the benefits of the plan against its risks.
weigh with sb/against sb, sth 对...有影响
e.g. His record weighs heavily against him.
[IDIOMS]
weigh your words 斟酌，推敲
weigh sb down = burden 使忧心忡忡，使烦恼，使焦虑
e.g. The responsibilities of the job are weighing her down.
He is weighed down with guilt.
类似地，weigh on 加重...的思想负担，使焦虑不安，使担忧
e.g. Something's weighing on her mind.
Para 7:
Self-respect is instilled in people.
* liaison
联络，联系
e.g. We work in close liaison with the police.
联络人
the White House liaison to organized labor 白宫与工会的联络人
liaison with sb 通奸
Para 8:
Self-respect is a full recognisation of prices. Once you play, you know the odds.
* That kind of self-respect is a discipline, a habit of mind that can never be faked but can be developed, trained, coaxed forth.
注意这边develop, train, coax forth的递进。
* swoon 痴迷，对...神魂颠倒
e.g. He is used to having women swooning over him.
n. 昏厥
* commiserative 同情的
Para 9:
Self-respect is a discipline which can hardly be faked yet be developed later in life.
* insofar 在...的范围下
* to give formal dinners in the rain forest would be pointless did not the candlelight flickering on the liana call forth deeper, stronger disciplines, values instilled long before.
后面的did not...是省略if的倒装句用法。
貌似是中古英语用法
Para 10:
Small disciplines and values instilled in people are of ritual sense to self-consciousness.
* intrinsic 之前积累过了啊。
* consort with sb 与...厮混
* in sb's thrall/in thrall to sb 受...控制；深受...影响
* untenable 难以捍卫的，站不住脚的
Para 11:
The sense of intrinsic worth constitutes self-respect.
Para 12:
To free onself from others and give back to onself is self-respect.
USE THE RIGHT WORD:
Day 16：
* Ashes
In the Old Testament, putting on sackcloth（粗麻布） and cover your head with ashes indicate repentance over your sins before God, since God values your repentant heart, you will get forgiveness and absolution. Sackcloth and ashes are symbols of seeking absolution from God on account of your sins.
So here in the article, Joan mentioned remembered the flavor of those particular ashes with embarrashing clarity, meaning she remembered all those guilty moments so clearly so vividly - she could not forget her past mistakes.
* Phi Beta Kappa: The Phi Beta Kappa Society (ΦΒΚ)
The Phi Beta Kappa Society (ΦΒΚ) is the oldest honor society for the liberal arts and sciences in the United States, with 286 active chapters.
Phi Beta Kappa aims to promote and advocate excellence in the liberal arts and sciences and to induct the most outstanding students of arts and sciences at American colleges and universities.
Phi Beta Kappa (ΦΒΚ) stands for Φιλοσοφία Βίου Κυβερνήτης or in Latin letters Philosophia Biou Cybernētēs, which means "Love of learning is the guide of life" or "Philosophy is the governor of one's life."
Since inception, 17 U.S. Presidents, 38 U.S. Supreme Court Justices, and 136 Nobel Laureates have been inducted members.
* Rodion Romanovich Raskolnikov
The fictional protagonist of Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky. (that's why I found the name so familiar...)
Raskolnikov is a young ex-law student living in extreme poverty in Saint Petersburg. He lives in a tiny garret which he rents, although due to a lack of funds has been avoiding payment for quite some time. He sleeps on a couch using old clothes as a pillow, and due to lack of money eats very rarely. He is handsome and intelligent, though generally disliked by fellow students. He is devoted to his sister (Avdotya Romanovna Raskolnikova) and his mother (Pulkheria Alexandrovna Raskolnikova).
* Stanford-Binet Intelligence scales
The Stanford–Binet Intelligence Scales (or more commonly the Stanford-Binet) is an individually administered intelligence test that was revised from the original Binet-Simon Scale by Lewis M. Terman, a psychologist at Stanford University.
The Stanford–Binet Intelligence Scale is now in its fifth edition (SB5) and was released in 2003. It is a cognitive ability and intelligence test that is used to diagnose developmental or intellectual deficiencies in young children.
The test measures five weighted factors and consists of both verbal and nonverbal subtests. The five factors being tested are knowledge, quantitative reasoning（定量推理）, visual-spatial processing（空间视觉处理）, working memory, and fluid reasoning（流体推理）.
It was initially created by the French psychologist Alfred Binet, who, following the introduction of a law mandating universal education by the French government, began developing a method of identifying "slow" children for their placement in special education programs (rather than removing them to asylums（精神病院） as "sick").
In 1916, at Stanford University, the psychologist Lewis Terman released a revised examination which became known as the "Stanford–Binet test".
* Phenobarbital 苯巴比妥
Phenobarbital, also known as phenobarbitone or phenobarb, is a medication recommended by the World Health Organization for the treatment of certain types of epilepsy（癫痫） in developing countries. In the developed world it is commonly used to treat seizures（突然发作） in young children, while other medications are generally used in older children and adults.
It may be used intravenously（注入静脉内地）, injected into a muscle, or taken by mouth. The injectable form may be used to treat status epilepticus.
Phenobarbital is occasionally used to treat trouble sleeping, anxiety, and drug withdrawal and to help with surgery. It usually begins working within five minutes when used intravenously and half an hour when administered orally. Its effects last for between four hours and two days.
* Appointment in Samarra
Appointment In Samarra, published in 1934, is the first novel by American writer John O'Hara (1905 – 1970).
It concerns the self-destruction and suicide of the fictional character Julian English, a wealthy car dealer who was once a member of the social elite of Gibbsville (O'Hara's fictionalized version of Pottsville, Pennsylvania).
The book created controversy due to O'Hara's inclusion of sexual content.
* Jordan Baker
Daisy Buchanan's long-time friend with "autumn-leaf yellow" hair, a firm athletic body, and an aloof attitude. She is Nick Carraway's girlfriend for most of the novel and an amateur golfer with a slightly shady reputation and a penchant for untruthfulness. Fitzgerald told Maxwell Perkins that Jordan was based on the golfer Edith Cummings, a friend of Ginevra King. Her name is a play on the two popular automobile brands, the Jordan Motor Car Company and the Baker Motor Vehicle, alluding to Jordan's "fast" reputation and the freedom now presented to Americans, especially women, in the 1920s.
* Chinese Gordon
Major General Charles George Gordon CB (28 January 1833 – 26 January 1885), also known as Chinese Gordon, Gordon Pasha, and Gordon of Khartoum, was a British Army officer and administrator.
He saw action in the Crimean War as an officer in the British Army. But he made his military reputation in China, where he was placed in command of the "Ever Victorious Army," a force of Chinese soldiers led by European officers.
In the early 1860s, Gordon and his men were instrumental in（在...起重要作用） putting down the Taiping Rebellion, regularly defeating much larger forces. For these accomplishments, he was given the nickname "Chinese Gordon" and honours from both the Emperor of China and the British.
He entered the service of the Khedive of Egypt in 1873 (with British government approval) and later became the Governor-General of the Sudan, where he did much to suppress revolts and the slave trade. Exhausted, he resigned and returned to Europe in 1880.
A serious revolt then broke out in the Sudan, led by a Muslim religious leader and self-proclaimed Mahdi, Muhammad Ahmad. In early 1884 Gordon had been sent to Khartoum with instructions to secure the evacuation（撤兵） of loyal soldiers and civilians and to depart with them.
However, after evacuating about 2,500 British civilians, in defiance of those instructions, he retained a smaller group of soldiers and non-military men. In the buildup to battle, the two leaders corresponded, each attempting to convert the other to his faith, but neither would accede（同意）.
Besieged by the Mahdi's forces, Gordon organized a citywide defence lasting almost a year that gained him the admiration of the British public, but not of the government, which had wished him not to become entrenched（使处于牢固地位）. Only when public pressure to act had become irresistible did the government, with reluctance, send a relief force. It arrived two days after the city had fallen and Gordon had been killed.
* Waterloo was won on the playfields of Eton.
It is said that the words were quoted from General Wellington, who eventually defeated Napoleon. Eton is a prestigious school where boys are educated into different disciplines with rigorous standards.
So the words insinuate a contempt against Napoleon's
* Francesca and Paolo
Francesca da Rimini and Paolo Malatesta are punished together in hell for their adultery: Francesca was married to Paolo's brother, Gianciotto ("Crippled John").
Francesca's shade tells Dante that her husband is destined for punishment in Caina--the infernal realm of familial betrayal named after Cain, who killed his brother Abel (Genesis 4:8)--for murdering her and Paolo.
Francesca was the aunt of Guido Novello da Polenta, Dante's host in Ravenna during the last years of the poet's life (1318-21). She was married (c. 1275) for political reasons to Gianciotto of the powerful Malatesta family, rulers of Rimini. Dante may have actually met Paolo in Florence (where Paolo was capitano del popolo--a political role assigned to citizens of other cities--in 1282), not long before he and Francesca were killed by Gianciotto.
Francesca,according to Boccaccio, was blatantly tricked into marrying Gianciotto, who was disfigured and uncouth, when the handsome and elegant Paolo was sent in his brother's place to settle the nuptial（婚姻的） contract. Angered at finding herself wed the following day to Gianciotto, Francesca made no attempt to restrain her affections for Paolo and the two in fact soon became lovers.
Informed of this liaison, Gianciotto one day caught them together in Francesca's bedroom (unaware that Paolo got stuck in his attempt to escape down a ladder, she let Gianciotto in the room); when Gianciotto lunged at Paolo with a sword, Francesca stepped between the two men and was killed instead, much to the dismay of her husband, who then promptly finished off Paolo as well.
Francesca and Paolo, Boccaccio concludes, were buried--accompanied by many tears--in a single tomb.
Day 17:
The first version:
After I checked Annie's version I made some revision, but still several differences maintained as I regarded them as another way into understanding.
For example, I put the sub-topic "without self-respect" as a deviation in that although everyone should be driven back to his or her past, which is generally considered as the first step into self-respect, many cannot help being trapped within those failures and sins. I'd rather reckon this state as a deviation from "self-respect", a misplaced one as what the author defined in the first paragraph.
The second version:
Day 18:
Well it seems that the mindmap does not work well for me, so I'll simply list my analysis here in a way which makes me feel more comfortable:
First, as for the general topic of "self-respect", the author developed a process including eight stages.
The 8 Stages of Self-respect:
1. Innocence
2. The end of innocence
3. Be driven back to the past of oneself
4. Be trapped with failures and sins
5. Make a private reconciliation with oneself
6. Have the courage of mistakes
7. Be aware of the prices and willing to take on responsibilities
8. Go for risks
Then I'll have a much more detailed explanation of the inner logic comprising the author's points as well as the examples connected to them.
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