原创： Master Huijing PureLandBuddhism
Introduction
The mind creates everything. To learn the compassion of the Buddhas, we must start from our minds. What kind of mind should we maintain? First, think positively. In other words, we should try our best to see others' words and deeds in a wholesome light. This way we can avert opposition and conflict, and realize harmony and even peace.
Story begins
There is a story on the internet titled Turn Grievances into Blessings – Don't Underestimate Your Tiniest Thought. It's an account of a couple in America whose son was rebellious and stubborn. He always disobeyed them and brought them trouble. The parents were so annoyed and the family was unhappy.
Later the son ran away from home. Like a loose kite, he disappeared for quite some years without a single word, not even a telephone call. What a tragedy for the family!
Doctor's advice
During those years, the parents worried and suffered. One day the father visited a psychiatrist and told him about his son's wrongdoings. When he finished, the doctor didn't reply. Instead, he asked: "How long have you been cursing your son like this?"
The father was startled and puzzled. He thought: I just described some of my son's shortcomings; how can you say I was cursing him? He is my own flesh and blood. I only wish him the very best. Why did you say it was a curse?
In fact, the psychiatrist's words had an implicit meaning, though the father couldn't appreciate it at the moment.
The doctor explained, To "curse" means to blame others for their faults, to speak ill of them. You've been relentlessly describing your son's misdeeds. What you have done is just to curse him!
The father was astonished: If this is so, I've been cursing him ever since he was born!" He told the psychiatrist frankly: "Yes. I've never said any words of praise to him. In other words, I've been cursing him his entire life."
The doctor said: "And what was the result of such cursing? A stressful family atmosphere. Constant conflict between father and son, and a lack of affection. Right?" The father nodded.
Since the cause of the sickness had been identified, the right therapy must be administered. The psychiatrist gave the father three prescriptions to apply in the next two months:
One
"Every time you think about your son, recall his strengths rather than his flaws."
Two
"Each time you speak of him, talk about his positive qualities and not his negative ones."
Three
"Constantly pray for him and ask heaven to bless him."
When he got home, the father repeated the psychiatrist's words to his wife. The couple accepted the advice and willingly followed it. From that day, they began to pray for their son, think of his positive qualities and talk about his merits, not his shortcomings.
The consequence was quick, almost instantaneous …
Turning point
Ten days later, while the father was reading at home, the phone rang. He picked it up and it was his son, the one who had left home for three or four years without a word.
The son said: "Dad, I'm really not sure why I called. I just want you to know that in the past week I suddenly thought of you and Mom and our family. I can't help but call to say hello to you …"
The father was filled with delight and comfort. He excitedly told his son: "I'm so happy you called." They talked over the phone for a couple of minutes. Then the father risked a request: "I don't know if you'll agree, but will you have lunch with me this Saturday?" The son happily assented.
Weekend lunch
At that weekend lunch, father and son got together. The latter was wearing shabby clothing. His hair was long and tousled. In the past, the father would have harshly rebuked the son. But this time, he just welcomed his child with a receptive attitude and blessed him silently. He asked a few questions and listened to his son's answers. Whenever the latter said something correct, the father affirmed and commended it.
As the lunch was about to end, the son looked at his father and said: "Dad, I've no idea what's going on. But I've really enjoyed being with you." The father said: "Son, I'm also happy to be with you!" The younger man went on: "Dad, can I stay at home overnight? Just tonight. I'd like to see Mom and the others, and my old bed." The father said: "Of course, please come! This is your home. You should have come back. And we are a family. How wonderful that we can be together!"
Throughout that day, the father dwelt in a state of surprise. When he stopped cursing his son, things began to change not even 180 degrees but 360.
That night, when the son was in his bed, the father came into the room, sat down and said: "My boy, for so many years I treated you badly. Will you forgive me?" The son said: "Dad, of course!" They hugged each other, and their relationship began to improve.
But when did the healing actually begin? It started when the parents began to bless their son.
Epilogue
When we bless others instead of cursing them, heaven takes note of our blessing. According to law of karma, such a blessing returns to us as well. This is the natural working of cause and effect. Every thought that arises in our mind and every sentence we speak go forth into the world, but they will eventually rebound upon ourselves. The universe is a single entity. Our thoughts, words and deeds produce fruits whose ultimate harvesters aren't others but ourselves. What we sow is what we shall reap. If we seed a curse, we will receive a curse. If we plant a blessing, we'll be rewarded with a blessing.
From On Love
A Discourse by Dharma Master Huijing
Pure Land Buddhism Amitabha-Recitation Society
December 23 and 27, 2015
[中文原文]
洒下祝福的种子，收获祝福的果实
一切唯心造，我们学佛的慈悲也是从心开始，那要抱持着怎么样的心呢？首先要有正面思维的心，也就是说，不管任何人的言语举止，我们尽量往好的一面去想，这样就不会彼此对立，就不会产生矛盾，这样就会和谐，乃至安乐。
网络上有一则故事，标题是「化抱怨为祝福──别小看自己的一思一念」，内容是叙述美国有一对夫妻，他们有一个儿子，可是这个儿子从小就不听话，个性顽强，常跟父母顶嘴，忤逆父母，给父母带来很多烦恼，也使得家庭不和乐，最后这个孩子竟然离家出走了，几年来都没有音讯，连一通电话也没有，像断了线的风筝一样，不知去向，这可说家庭的悲剧啊！
四年来，父母既挂念又痛苦。有一天，这位父亲就去找一位心理医师，这位父亲对着医师述说着儿子从小到大的种种不好。这位心理医师听完了并没有直接回答，反而问说：「你这样的诅咒儿子已经多久了？」
这位父亲一听不禁惊讶，也很疑惑，心想：我只是叙说我儿子的一些缺点，你怎么说我是在诅咒儿子呢？儿子是我的亲生骨肉，巴望他的幸福美好都来不及了，怎么说是在诅咒他呢？其实，这位医师的话是有含意的，是这一位父亲当下体会不到。
这位医师就解释了，所谓「诅咒」的意思是说别人的不是，说别人的坏话，一开始你就滔滔不绝的叙说你儿子这里不好，那里不对，这样其实就是在诅咒自己的儿子啊！
这个父亲一听就非常的震惊，想到如果这样是诅咒的话，那儿子从出生到现在岂不常被我诅咒了！所以他就老实地跟心理医师说：「是的，从他一出生到现在，我从来都没有说过一句赞美的话，可说我是诅咒他一辈子了。」
医师就说：「这样诅咒的结果是怎么样？是家庭气氛很糟，父子之间常冲突，没有父子之情，是吧？」这个父亲当下承认。
既然找出了病因了，就要对症下药。这位心理医师就开给这位父亲三个药方，而且要他以两个月的时间服用看看。
第一个药方，只要你想到儿子，就要想他的好，不要想他的不好。
第二个药方，只要你讲到儿子，就要讲他的好，不要讲他的不好。
第三个药方，要常为儿子祷告，求上天祝福他。
这位父亲回家之后就把医师的话告诉太太，夫妻二人也很肯定这位心理医师所提的意见，也很愿意这样去做。从那天开始，夫妻就开始为儿子祷告，同时也想儿子正面的事情，讲到儿子也都讲儿子的优点，不讲他的缺点。
这样的效果真的很快，几乎是立竿见影……
大约过了十天左右，这位父亲在房间看书，电话响了，他拿起了电话，电话的那头，竟然是已经离开家门三、四年，毫无音讯的儿子。
儿子说：「爸爸，我真的不确定为什么会打电话给你，我只是想告诉你，过去一个星期以来，我就突然想到你跟妈妈，还有我们的家人，所以我就巴不得打电话给你，问问你们好不好……」
当下这位父亲心中是多么高兴与安慰。父亲也很高兴的跟儿子说：「我真的也很高兴你打电话来。」父子两人就在电话中聊了几分钟。之后，这位父亲就抓住机会说：「我不晓得你答应不答应，这个星期六要不要一起吃个午餐？」儿子也很高兴的答应了。
周末午餐时间，这一对父子见面了。这个儿子穿着很破旧的衣服，留着一头又乱又长的头发，如果以过去来讲，这个父亲肯定会严厉的斥责儿子，但此时父亲是以接纳的态度来迎接这个孩子，而且在心里祝福他。他问了儿子一些问题之后，就听儿子回答，儿子说到一些对的地方他也给予肯定赞美。
午餐约会快结束的时候。儿子就望着父亲说：「爸爸，我不知道发生什么事，不过，我很享受跟你在一起的这段期间。」父亲也说：「儿子，我也很享受跟你在一起呀！」儿子就进一步说：「爸爸，今天晚上我想在家里过夜好吗？就今天晚上而已，我想看看妈妈和家人，还有我那张旧旧的床铺。」父亲说：「当然可以啊！这是你的家，本来你就是要回来的啊！而且我们是一家人，多高兴我们在一起啊！」
那一整天，这个父亲心里惊讶到，当他停止了诅咒他的儿子，情况就有了极大的改变，不只是一百八十度，可以说是三百六十度的大改变。
那天晚上，这个儿子躺在自己床上的时候，爸爸到了他的房间坐下来跟儿子说：「孩子，过去多年来我对你很不好，你愿意原谅爸爸吗？」儿子就说：「爸爸！我当然原谅你啊！」然后就抱着爸爸。他们的关系从此就开始和好了。
然而，这和好的关系真正是从什么时候开始的呢？是从这对父母开始为儿子祝福的时候开始的。
当我们祝福他人而不再诅咒他人时，上天也会看重我们的祝福，从因果律的轨则来讲，这也会祝福到我们，这是自然的因果律。我们起一个念头，讲一句话，散发出去，最后还是会再回到我们身上。宇宙是一体的，我们的起心动念、言语行为，最后所收的果实不是别人，是我们自己。我们种的是什么，最后所收成的就是什么，如果我们洒下诅咒的种子，所收成的就是诅咒的结果；如果洒下祝福的种子，所收成的就是祝福的果实。
选自《说爱》
──2015年12月23、27日 慧净法师于净土宗弘愿念佛会开示
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