“I mean, I always feel like a freak because I’m never able to move on like this. People just have an affair, or even entire relationships, they break up and they forget. They move on like they would have changed brand of cereals. I feel I was never able to forget anyone I’ve been with because each person had their own specific qualities. Like I'm obsessed with little things. You can never replace anyone. What is lost is lost. Each relationship, when it ends, really damages me. I never fully recover. That’s why I’m very careful with getting involved because I will miss of the person the most mundane thing. I think it’s the same with people. I see in them little details, so specific to each of them that move me and that I miss and will always miss.”
I must say I’m not old because I have many things to learn, I just had some brief flirtations, nothing serious, but unforgettable. What they said, their eyes, their every move. I am not a detective, I am just good at remembering the people or things I care about. I have confirmed every heartbeat, the kind of happy but desperate mood. When I became cautious, I thought I valued this relationship so much. When I paid three cents, I actually fell in love with seven points. I didn't want to give all my things to each other, I was afraid that the other party would be afraid. So far no one understand me. I am always slowly and silently, when I finally opened my heart, the other party left. I always reflect on myself and correct myself, but every time the outcome is the same. When they love, they are like heroes, but when they don't love, they are like deserters. And I, look coldly, I will cry, but my heart will be as hard as stone. When I think of those sweet things, I forget my troubles for a short time. A Southern boy sang my favorite song for me, wonderful singing voice, I insomnia all night. A boy is very funny and very smart. I am very happy to be with him. I can say that it was the happiest time after I went to college. The man has become gentle and patient for me, playing guitar and singing for me. He is standing in the middle of the crowd. It is so charming. I saw him at a glance. I don't love them, but I can't forget them. It is enough to have that talent, so that they are no longer ordinary. This summer, no one will listen to the songs and record these details as I do. I remember telling the boy that I had only said these words to him. I said that I want to write. All the people and things around me are materials. Because I was just a traveler and experiencer in the world. When he left, he said he was just sent by God to write for me. This sentence is still fresh in my memory. I remember everyone.
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