良好家庭教育的10条建议

良好家庭教育的10条建议

While it is true that there is no single definition or correct method of raising children, a few parenting tips could go a long way in ensuring the happiness of your child. Let’s take a look at 10 good parenting tips that Sadhguru has for us on raising kids.

尽管“良好的家庭教育”并没有单一的定义也没有绝对正确的方法，但一些养育儿女的小贴士可能很有帮助并给孩子的幸福带来保障。让我们看一看萨古鲁在养育孩子方面给我们提出的十条建议。

Sadhguru:Parenting involves a certain amount of discretion. There is no one standard rule for all children. Different children may need different levels of attention, expression of love, and toughness. Suppose I was standing in a coconut garden and you ask me, “How much water per plant?” I’d say, “At least 50 liters per plant.” When you go home, if you give 50 liters to your rose plant, it will die. You must see what kind of plant you have in your house and what it needs.

萨古鲁：养育儿女需要“因材施教”。对待所有的孩子并没有统一的准则，不同的孩子可能需要不同的关注、管教和爱的表达。假设我正站在一个椰子园中，你问我，“每棵树浇多少水？”我会说，“每颗至少50升。”如果你回到家中给你的玫瑰也浇50升的水，它一定会死去。你必须明白你的房子里种着什么样的植物以及它需要什么。

#1 Recognize The Privilege

养育孩子是一种特权

It is a privilege that this child – this bundle of joy – has come through you and arrived in your house. Children are not your property; they do not belong to you. Just see how to enjoy, nurture, and support them. Don’t try to make them an investment for your future.

当你的孩子——洋溢着欢乐的生命——借由你的身体来到你的家庭时，这实则是一种特权。孩子不是你的所有物，他不属于你。你只用明白怎么养育、关爱和支持他。不要试图使孩子成为你的未来的一种投资。

#2 Let Them Be

让孩子做自己

Let them become whatever they have to become. Don’t try to mold them according to your understanding of life. Your child need not do what you did in your life. Your child should do something that you did not even dare to think in your life. Only then will the world progress.

让孩子成为他们要成为的人，不要根据你对生活的理解来塑造他们。你的孩子不需要做你在你的生命中所做的事，他们应该做一些你连想都不敢想的事，只有这样，世界才会进步。

#3 Give Them ‘True’ Love

真正的爱

People misunderstand that loving their children is to cater to whatever they ask for. If you get them everything they ask for, it is stupidity, isn’t it? When you are loving, you can do just whatever is needed. When you truly love someone, you are willing to be unpopular and still do what is best for them.

人们误以为，爱自己的孩子就是迎合他们所有的需求。如果你对他们百依百顺，这不是很愚蠢吗？当你真正有爱时，你会做需要做的事。当你真正爱一个人时，你宁愿违背他们的心愿也要做对他们最有益的事。

#4 Don’t Rush Them Into Growing Up

不要催促孩子成长

It is very important a child remains a child; there is no hurry to make him into an adult because you can’t reverse it later. When he is a child and he behaves like a child, it’s wonderful. When he becomes an adult and behaves like a child, that’s bad. There is no hurry for a child to become an adult.

让孩子保留孩子的天性很重要；不要急于让他们成年，因为这是不可逆的。当他是个孩子，行为举止如同孩子时，这是极好的。当他是个成人，行为举止却如同孩子时，这就糟糕了。所以，不必急于让孩子步入成年。

#5 Make It A Time To Learn, Not To Teach

是你去学习的时候，而不是教的时候

What do you know about life to teach your children? A few survival tricks are the only things you can teach. Please compare yourself with your child and see who is capable of more joy? Your child, isn’t it? If he knows more joy than you, who is better qualified to be a consultant about life, you or him?

教你的孩子？你对生命又了解多少呢？你能够教的无非是一些生存的技巧。和你的孩子比一比，是谁的欢乐多一些？是你的孩子，对不对？如果他对欢乐懂得多一些，那么谁更有资质来做生命的“顾问”呢？你还是他？

When a child comes, it’s time to learn, not teach. When a child comes, unknowingly you laugh, play, sing, crawl under the sofa, and do all those things that you had forgotten to do. So it is time to learn about life.

当一个孩子降生时，你学习的时候就到了，而不是教的时候到了。当孩子来到你的生命中，你无意中开始大笑、玩耍、甚至趴在沙发下，做一些你久已忘却的事，因而这正是了解生命的时候。

#6 Nurture Their Natural Spirituality

孩子天生就有灵性

Children are very close to a spiritual possibility if only they are not meddled with. Generally, either the parents, teachers, society, television – somebody or the other meddles with them too much. Create an atmosphere where this meddling is minimized and a child is encouraged to grow into his intelligence rather than into your identity of religion. The child will become naturally spiritual without even knowing the word spirituality.

孩子是最接近灵性存在的，只要他们不被干预。一般来说，无论是父母、老师、社会、电视还是其它都在过多地干预他们。创造一种将这种干预最小化的氛围，鼓励孩子去发展自己的智慧而不是认同于你的宗教。那么无需知道“灵性”这个词，你的孩子就会变得很有灵性。

#7 Provide A Supportive And Loving Atmosphere

创造一个积极并充满爱的氛围

If you set an example of fear and anxiety, how can you expect your children to live in joy? They will also learn the same thing. The best thing you can do is to create a joyous and loving atmosphere.

如果你树立了一个恐惧和焦虑的榜样，你又怎能期许你的孩子活得快乐呢？他们也会习得同样的习惯。你最应该做的就是创造一个充满爱和愉悦的氛围。

#8 Maintain A Friendly Relationship

维持友谊

Stop imposing yourself on the child and create a strong friendship rather than being a boss. Don’t sit on a pedestal and tell the child what she should do. Place yourself below the child so that it’s easy for them to talk to you.

不要对孩子咄咄逼人，建立亲密的友谊而不是对他颐指气使。不要高高在上地告诉你的孩子应该做什么。放下你的架子，这样孩子就会乐于和你谈心。

#9 Avoid Seeking Respect

不要渴望尊重

Love is what you seek with your children, isn’t it? But many parents say, “You must respect me.” Except that you came a few years early, are bigger in body, and you know a few survival tricks, in what way are you a better life than him?

你从孩子身上寻求的应该是爱，不是吗？但是很多父母说，“你必须尊重我。”除了你比他早出生，身体比他高大，比他懂得生存之道，在哪些方面你的生命比他好呢？

#10 Make Yourself Truly Attractive

让自己真正有吸引力

A child is influenced by so many things – the TV, neighbors, teachers, school, and a million other things. He will go the way of whatever he finds most attractive. As a parent, you have to make yourself in a way that the most attractive thing he finds is to be with the parents. If you are a joyous, intelligent, and wonderful person, he won’t seek company anywhere else. For anything, he will come and ask you.

孩子会受到很多东西的影响——电视、邻居、老师、学校还有众多其它东西。他会倾向于他觉得最有趣的东西。作为父母，你必须让自己具有吸引力，让孩子觉得和父母在一起是最有趣的。如果你是一个喜悦、明智的好父母，他就不会在别处寻找陪伴了。无论什么事，他都会来和你商量。

If you are genuinely interested in giving your children a good upbringing, you should first transform yourself into a peaceful and loving human being.

如果你真的想要给孩子一个良好的家庭教育，首先你应该把自己转变成一个平和、有爱的人。

Love&Grace,

Sadhguru

爱与恩典

萨古鲁