自我同情与正念

 Mindfulness. 正念

Mindfulness involves being aware of present moment experience in a clear and balanced manner (Brown & Ryan, 2003). Mindful acceptance involves being “experientially open” to the reality of the present moment, allowing whatever thoughts, emotions, and sensations enter awareness without judgment, avoidance, or repression抑制、镇压 (Bishop et al., 2004). Why is mindfulness an essential component of self-compassion? First, it is necessary to recognize that you are suffering in order to give yourself compassion. While it might seem that suffering is obvious, many people don’t acknowledge the extent of their own pain, especially when that pain stems from their own self-criticism. Or when confronted with life challenges, people often get so absorbed by the process of trying to fix their problems that they don't paust to consider how much they are struggling

in the moment. While the tendency to suppress or ignore pain is very human, an

avoidant style of coping with negative emotions can lead to dysfunctional and

ultimately ineffective strategies such as substance misuse（物质滥用）, binge-eating（暴饮暴食）, or social withdrawal不合群 (Holahan & Moos, 1987). Mindfulness counters反击 the tendency to avoid painful thoughts and emotions, allowing us to

bear 承受witness to our experience even when unpleasant.

正念：正念是指对当下经验的觉察， 清晰，平衡的方式。 正念里的接纳指的是对当下一刻的现实，保持开放的态度，不管是想法、情绪，知觉，都保持觉察，没有评判、抗拒和抑制。

为什么正念是自我同情的关键要素呢？  首先，如果你想自我同情 ，意识到你正在受苦是必要的。 也许疼痛看起来是明显的，但是很多人并没有意识到疼痛的属性（疼痛的特点，比如范围，深度，怎么个疼法），尤其是这种痛苦来自于自我批评的时候。 抑或 ， 当你面对生活的挑战， 人们经常的是掉到解决问题的窠臼中，以至于，他们无法停下来考虑他们陷入挣扎的具体程度（到底怎么回事？）这种抑制、忽略疼痛的倾向（看起来）很符合人性的（天性）。  压制、回避负面情绪也许会暂时成功，但是会导致功能失调，最终无效：会引发物质滥用，暴饮暴食或者边缘性人格障碍。正念与抗拒痛苦的想法、情绪的做法刚好相反，让我们，即使在不开心的时候， 也能直面我们正在经历的事情  （林宝注：全然的观察 completely observing without judgement）

At the same time, being mindful means that we don’t become “overidentified” (Neff, 2003b) with negative thoughts or feelings, so that we are caught up and swept away by our aversive reactions

(Bishop et al., 2004). This type of rumination沉思arrows our focus and exaggerates implicationsfor self-worth (Nolen-Hoeksema, 1991). Not only did I fail, “I AM A FAILURE.”Not only am I disappointed, “MY LIFE IS DISAPPOINTING.” Over-identificationmeans that we define ourselves in terms of our behaviors, reifying them asdefinitive and permanent. When we observe our pain mindfully, however, newbehaviors become possible. Like a clear,still平静的 pool without ripples涟漪, mindfulness mirrors what’s occurring without distortion（扭曲）, allowing us to take a wiser and more objective perspective（客观的视角） on ourselves and our lives.  

与此同时， 保持正念意味着，我们不会认为我们本身就是负面的想法和感受。我们会被我们厌恶的反应吸入和卷走。

这种思维的反刍让我们的注意力聚焦在，并放大了自我的价值（的缺失）。 我失败了， 我就是一个失败者。 不光我感到沮丧， 我的整个生命都是让人失望的。过度的标签化意味着，我们在定义自己的行为的时候，把他们限制住了， 并认为那不可能再改变了。  但是， 当我们正念的去注视痛苦的时候，新的行为就变的可能了 。正念之镜，就像一池清澈的平静的没有任何波澜的水，没有任何扭曲的照见了正在发生的事情，这样就是我们有可能用智慧的、更加客观的视角去看待我们自己和我们的生活。