老友记第一季第一集文本、音频

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老友记第一季第一集文本、音频

There's nothing to tell .It's just some guy I work with.

没什么可说的.只不过是我的同事而已.

Come on,you're going out with the guy.There's gotta be something wrong with him!

少来了，你和那个人出去约会.他一定是有什么问题！

So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?

他驼背吗？既驼背又带假发？

Wait, does he eat chalk?

慢着,他吃粉笔吗？

Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl

我只是不想她重蹈我和卡尔的覆辙.

老友记第一季第一集文本、音频

Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.

各位别急,这不算约会.我们不过是出去吃晚餐,而且没做爱.

Sounds like a date to me.

听起来好像是说我的约会.

Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked.

于是我回到了高中学校,我站在食堂中间,然后发现自己全身赤裸.

老友记第一季第一集文本、音频

Oh, yeah. Had that dream.

噢，是的，做过那种梦.

Then I look down, and I realize there's a phone... there.

我低头一看,看见有一部电话……在那儿。

Instead of...?

而不是…

That's right.

没错.

Never had that dream.

这种梦倒从没做过.

No.

All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring.

突然那电话响起来了.

And it turns out it's my mother,

结果是我妈打来的,

which is very-very weird because she never calls me!

这非常非常奇怪,因为她从不曾打过电话给我!

Hi

This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.

这家伙一打招呼,我就想自杀.

Are you okay, sweetie?

亲爱的，你还好吧？

I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small

intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck.

我感觉有人把手伸入我的喉咙,抓起我的肠子,从我的口中取出,然后绑在我脖子上

Cookie?饼干

Carol moved her stuff out today.

卡罗尔今天把她的东西搬走了。

Let me get you some coffee.  我帮你泡杯咖啡。

Thanks.谢谢

No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay?

不，不要……不要清理我的气息。离我气息远点，好吗？

I'll be fine, alright?

我会没事的,好吗？

Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy.

真的，各位，我希望她幸福

No you don't.

不,你不会的.

No I don't,to hell with her, she left me!

我不会的,去她的,她甩掉我。

And you never knew she was a lesbian.

而且你一直都不知道她是女同性恋.

No!Okay?!Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know,how should I know?

不知道!行了吧？为什么每个人总是揪着这点不放？她都不知道，我又怎么知道？

Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.Did I say that out loud?

有时候我希望我是个女同性恋。我大声说出来啦？

Alright Ross，Look，you're feeling a lot of pain right now .You're angry .You're hurting.

没事的,罗斯.听着,你现在感到会让你痛苦,你很生气,你感到很受伤.

Can I tell you what the anawer is?Strip joints!

我能告诉你答案是什么吗?脱衣舞俱乐部!

Come on,you're single!Have some hormones.

拜托,你单身了,找点乐子吧!

I don't want to be single,okay?

我不想单身，好吗？

I just..I just want to be married again.

我只是..我只是想再婚.

I just want a million dollars!

而我只想要100万美金.

Rachel?

Oh,God,Monica hi!Thank God!

噢,天啊,莫妮卡,嗨!谢天谢地!

Ijust went to your building,and this guy with a big hammer said that you might be here,and you are you are.

我刚到你那里去,而你不在,那个拿着大锤子的家伙说你可能在这,你真在这里,你真在这里.

Can I get you some coffee?

要来杯咖啡吗?

Decaf.无咖啡因的

Okay,Everybody,this is Rachel,another Lincoln High survivor.

好了,各位,这就是R,林肯高中另一个幸存者.

This is everybody.this is Chandler and Phoebe and Joey.And,you remember my brother,Ross?

这就是各位啦?这是C和P,还有J,你记得我哥哥S吗?

sure!Hi.当然,你好!

So you wanna tell us now,or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?

那么你是现在告诉我们呢？还是说我们等四位湿漉的伴娘来？

Oh God..Well,it started about a half-hour before the wedding.

噢,天哪..好吧,这大概发生在婚礼半小时前.

I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat.

我当时在放置礼品的房间里,我正在看着那个船形卤盘.

This really gorgeous Limoges gravy boat. When all of a sudden I realized. .

那是个非常好看的利摩日船型调汁瓶,然后突然间,我意识到..

Sweet 'n' Lo?

有糖吗?

I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry!

我发现比起巴里,这个船形调汁瓶更让我有冲动.

And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me:

然后我吓到了,就在那时我突然想到:

How much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, I always knew he looked familiar, but. .

巴里看起来有多像土豆先生,你们知道的,我的意思是,我 总觉得他眼熟,但是..

Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering, "Why am I doing this, " and "Who am I doing this for?"

不管怎样,我必须离开那里,然后我就开始思考"我为什么这样做""我为了谁这样做"

So anyway, I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart,

反正我不知道该去哪里,而且我知道你和我有点疏远了,

but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.

但你是我认识的人里唯一住在这个城市的.

Who wasn't invited to the wedding.

没被邀请参加婚礼的人.

Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue. .

我有点希望这不是个问题..

Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ, and she's really not happy about it.

现在我猜他给她买了个大管风琴,而她很不喜欢.

Daddy, I just I can't marry him.

爸爸,我只是不能嫁给他!

I'm sorry. I just don't love him. Well, it matters to me!

对不起,我只是不爱他.但那对我很重要!

Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants.

她真不应该穿那条裤子的.

I say push her down the stairs.

要我说 把她推下楼梯

Push her down the stairs!

把她推下楼梯

C'mon Daddy, listen to me! It's like,all of my life, everyone has always told me,"You're a shoe!"

爸爸,听我说!就好像,就好像在我一生中,所有人都告诉我说, "你是鞋子.

"

And today I just stopped and I said, "What if I don't wanna be a shoe? "

而我今天停下来说,"如果我不想成为鞋子呢?"

What if I want to be a-a purse? y'know? Or a- or a hat!

如果我想当一个包包?或是一顶帽子呢！

No, I don't want you to buy me a hat! I'm saying I am a ha. .  It's a metaphor, Daddy!

不,我不是让你给我买帽子,我是说我是一顶帽子..这就是个比喻,老爸.

You can see where he'd have trouble.

你能发现他哪里出现了问题.

Look, Daddy, it's my life. Well, maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.

听着,爸爸,这是我的人生.也许我可以和莫妮卡住在一起.

Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica.

我猜我们已经确定她要和莫妮卡住一起了.

Well, maybe that's my decision. Well, maybe I don't need your money. Wait! I said maybe!

也许那就是我的决定,也许我不需要你的钱.等等,我说也许.

Just breathe, breathe. . . that's it. Just try to think of nice calm things.

深呼吸，就是这样。只想着一些让你平静的事物.

Raindrops on roses And whiskers on kittens. Doorbells and sleigh bells. And something with mittens La la la something. And noodles with string. .

玫瑰上的雨滴，还有猫的胡须，门铃和雪橇还有手套。啦啦啦，还有一些绳子串起来的面条..

I'm all better now.

我现在好多了.

I helped.我帮上忙啦!

Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y'know?

听着,这样或许是最好的,知道吗?

Independence. Taking control of your life.

独立了,可以主宰自己的人生.

And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey.

还有,你需要什么,你可以随时可以来找J.

Me and Chandler live right across the hall. And He's away a lot.

我和C就住在对面.而且他经常 不在.

Joey, Stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day.

J,不要勾引她了!今天是她结婚的日子!

What, like there's a rule or something?

怎么啦!好像这还有什么规定吗?

Please don't do that again. It's a horrible sound.

请不要再这么干了,这声音很烦人.

It's, it's Paul.我是保罗.

Buzz him in.

让他进来.

Who's Paul?Paul, the wine guy? Paul?

谁是保罗?那个调酒师保罗吗?

Maybe.也许吧

Wait a minute. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?

等一下，你今晚的‘不是真正约会’是和调酒师保罗?

He finally asked you out?

他终于约你出去啦？

Yes!

Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment.

这是个可以写到日记本的时刻。

Rach, wait, I can cancel..

R，等等，我可以取消..

Please, no, go! I'll be fine!

不用，你去吧！我会好起来的！

Ooh, Ross, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay? That'd be good.

噢，罗斯，你还好吗？我的意思是，你想要我留下来吗？

Really?真的吗?

No, go on! It's Paul, the wine guy!

不，去吧！那可是调酒师保罗!

Hi, come in! Paul, this is. . . everybody, everybody, this is Paul.

嗨，进来，保罗,这是..大家,各位,这是保罗.

Hey! Paul, Wine Guy!

嗨!保罗,调酒师!

I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?

对不起,我没听请你名字.保罗,是吗?

Okay,sit down.Two seconds.

坐会儿.马上就好.

Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.

噢,我刚拔掉四根睫毛.不是个好兆头.

So Rachel,what're you,uh. . . what're you up to tonight?

瑞秋,你,你今晚打算怎么过?

Well,I was kinda supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon, so, nothing..

我本该去Aruba度蜜月的,所以,没事做.

Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon,God.

对哦,你都不能去度蜜月,天啊.

No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year. .talk about your,

不过阿鲁巴岛每年这个时候..说到你的

big lizards.大蜥蜴.

Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.

不管怎样,如果今晚你不想一个人待着的话,J和C要过来帮我组装我的新家具.

Yes, and we're very excited about it.

是的,而且我们为此非常兴奋.

Well actually thanks, but I think I'm just gonna hang out here tonight. It's been kinda a long day.

真的很谢谢,不过我想今晚还是待在这里吧.今天可真是漫长

Oh, sure,okay,sure.

噢,当然.好的

Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?

嘿,P,你想来帮忙吗?

Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to.

噢,我希望我可以去,但我不想去.

I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys.

我应该用这些螺杆把支架固定在侧面.

I have no bracket-y thing. I see no worm guys whatsoever. . . and I cannot feel my legs

我没有支架,没看到螺杆什么的..而且,我的腿麻了.

What's this?这是什么?

I have no idea.我不知道

Done with the bookcase.All finished.

书架做好了.完工了.

This was Carol's favorite beer.

这是卡罗尔最爱的啤酒.

She always drank it out of the can, I should have known.

她总是直接用罐子喝,我该知道的(她是女同)

Ross, let me ask you a question.

我问你一个问题

She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV. What did you get?

她得到家具，音响，好电视，你得到了什么？

You guys.你们啊

Oh, God!You got screwed.

天啊，你被坑了。

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

I know.I know.I'm such an idiot.

我知道，我是个笨蛋。

I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week.

当她一礼拜见四五次牙医的时候，我就该知道的.

I mean, how clean can teeth get?

我的意思是,牙齿能需要多干净呢?

My brother's going through that right now, he's such a mess. How did you get through it?

我哥哥正在经历这种事情呢!

他糟糕透了.你是怎么熬过来的?

You might try accidentally breaking something valuable of hers.

你可以尝试不小心弄坏她的某些贵重物品.

Say her - Leg?比如她的..腿?

That's one way!

那也是一种方法!

Me, I- I went for the watch.

我砸坏了她的表.

那是一种方式!我砸了她的表.

You actually broke her watch?

你真的砸坏了她的手表?

Barry, I'm sorry. I am so sorry.

巴里,对不起,真的对不起.

I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about you making love with your socks on, but it isn't. . . It's about me. And I just

我知道你可能认为这都是跟那晚我对你说你穿袜子做爱有关,但不是的,这都是我的问题,我只是..

Hi,machine cut me off again. Anyway. Look, look. .

嗨,机器又断了我的电话,不管怎样,听着,听着.

You know what the scariest part is?

你知道最可怕的是什么吗?

What if there's only one woman for everybody,y'know?I mean what if you get one woman and that's.

如果每个人只有一个女人适合他,知道吗？我的意思是，如果你拥有一个女人然后就此过一生。

Unfortunately in my case,there was only one women for her.

不幸的是,我的情况是,她拥有了一个女人.

What are you talking about?"One woman"？

你说什么呢？“一个女人”？

That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. 

这好像在说,你只能吃一种口味的冰淇淋.

Let me tell you something, Ross.There's lots of flavors out there.

让我告诉你,R.还有很多种口味.

There's Rocky road and cookie dough and bing cherry vanilla.

有巧克力坚果味,曲奇味,还有香草味.

You can get them with jimmies or nuts or whipped cream.

你还可以和糖条,果仁,或则拌着奶油吃.

It's the best thing that ever happened to you!

这是你一生中最好的事情发生了.

You got married. You were like,what, 8?

你结婚了,你当时几岁,8岁吗?

Welcome back to the world!Grab a spoon!

欢迎回到这个世界!拿好勺子!

I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.

我实在不知道我是饿了还是饥渴了.

Stay out of my freezer!

离我的冰箱远点!

Ever since she walked out on me, I. .

从她离开后,我..

What? what  . You wanna spell it out with noodles?

怎么了?你打算边吃面条边说出来?

No, it's, it's more of a fifth date kinda revelation.

不是,这应该是第五次约会才说的事.

Oh, so there is gonna be a fifth date?

噢,这么说还有第五次约会了?

Isn't there? 没有吗?

Yeah, yeah.I think there is.

有,有,我觉得有的.

What were you going to say?

你刚刚想说什么?

Well, ever since she left me. . . I haven't been able to perform. . . sexually.

好吧!自从她离开我后,我就一直不能过正常的性生活.

Oh, God! I'm so, I'm so sorry.

It's ok.没事的

I know being spit on is probably not what you need right now.

我知道被人吐水应该不是你想要的.

How long?多久了?

Two years.两年多了

Wow.I'm glad you smashed her watch.

我真高兴你砸了她的表.

So you still think you might want that fifth date?

那你还希望有第五次约会吗?

Yeah. Yeah, I do.是的,我希望有.

I,Joanie,take you,Charles,as my lawful husband.

我乔安妮接受查理斯为我的合法丈夫.

Do you take Joanie..?

你是否接受乔安妮..

Oh..see..But Joanie loved Chachi. That's the difference.

看,乔安妮爱卡奇.这就是区别.

"Grab a spoon. "拿起勺子

Do you know how long it's been since I grabbed a spoon?

你知道我多久没抓起勺子了吗?

Do the words, "Billy, don't be a hero, " mean anything to you?

"比利,别逞英雄"这句话对你开说意味这什么?

Y'know, here's the thing.

还有个问题.

Even if I could get it together enough to- to ask a woman out. . .

就算我鼓足勇气约个女人出来.

who am I gonna ask?

我该约谁呢?

Isn't this amazing? I've never made coffee in my entire life.

不可思议吧!我这辈子从没煮过咖啡.

That is amazing.Congratulations.

真不可思议.恭喜

Y'know, I figure if I can make coffee, there isn't anything I can't do.

我想如果我能煮咖啡,那没什么是我不能做的.

while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something.

趁你现在进入状态了,有没有想过做个西式蛋卷之类的东西.

Although, actually I'm really not that hungry.

不过,事实上我还没有那么饿.

Morning

Good morning.早上好

Morning, Paul.早上好,P

Hello, Paul.

Hi. Paul, is it?

嗨,保罗,对吗?

Thank you. Thank you so much.

谢谢你,太感谢你了.

We'll talk later.晚点聊.

Thank you.

That wasn't a real date. What the hell do you do on a real date?

那还不是真正的约会.那你真正的约会到底要做什么?

Shut up and put my table back.

闭嘴,把我的桌子放回去.

All right, kids, I gotta get to work.

好了,孩子,我要去上班了.

If I don't input those numbers, . . . it doesn't make much of a difference.

如果我不输入那些数字..它也没什么差别.

So, like, you guys all have jobs?

你们大伙儿都有工作?

Yeah, we all have jobs.

对,我们都有

See,That's how we buy stuff.

这样才有钱买东西.

Yeah, I'm an actor.

对,我是演员 .

Wow! Would I have seen you in anything?

我有见过你的作品吗?

I doubt it. Mostly regional work.

难说.主要是区域性作品.

Oh wait, wait, unless you happened to catch the Reruns' production of Pinocchioat the little theater in the park?

等等,除非你碰巧在公园的小剧场看过匹诺曹的重播.

"Look, Geppetto. I'm a real live boy. "

瞧,盖佩多.我是真正的小男孩.

I will not take this abuse.

我不会理会这种羞辱.

You're right, I'm sorry.

你是对的,对不起.

"Once I was a wooden boy, a little wooden boy. . "

我曾是小木偶,小木偶.

So how you doing today?

你今天感觉怎么样?

Did you sleep okay?

睡的好吗?

talk to Barry?

你和巴里谈过吗?

I can't stop smiling.

我无法停止笑.

I can see that.我能看到

You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.

你看起来像睡觉时在嘴里放了衣架.

I know. He's just so. .

我知道.他是那么..

Do you Remember you and Tony Demarco?

你还记得你和托尼 德马克科吗?Oh, yeah.记得.

Well, it's like that. With feelings.

就像那样.那种感觉.

Wow, are you in trouble!

那你有麻烦了.

Okay. Okay. I am just going to get up, go to work and not think about him all day.

好啦,好啦.我要站起来,去工作,而且一整天都不像他.

Or else I'm just gonna get up and go to work.

或则我只是站起来去工作.

Oh, look, wish me luck!

祝我好运!

What for?为什么?

I'm gonna go get one of those job things.

我要去找那个工作的事情.

Hey, Monica.

Hey, Frannie

welcome back. How was Florida?

欢饮回来,在佛罗里达过得怎么样?

You had sex, didn't you?

你做爱了,是不是?

How do you do that?

你怎么知道的?

So, who?那么,谁?

You know Paul?

你认识保罗吧?

Paul,the wine guy?

保罗,那个调酒的?

Oh yeah,I know Paul.

对,我认识保罗.

You mean,you know Paul like I know Paul?

你是说,你认识他像我认识他那样?

Are you kidding?I take credit for Paul.

你是开玩笑吗?保罗还欠我一个人情呢.

Y'know before me,there was no snap in his turtle for two years.

在我之前,他已经两年没做爱了.

Of course it was a lie.

他当然是说谎.

Why?Why?Why, why would anybody do something like that?

为什么?为什么有人那样做?

I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated than :"To get you into bed. "

我想我们要寻找一个比'哄你上床'更复杂的答案.

Is it me? 是我的问题吗?

Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?

是不是我身上有某种气味.只有狗和严重感情问题的人才能感觉到?

All right, come here, gimme your feet.

好啦,过来,把你的脚给我.

I just thought he was nice, you know?

我原以为他是好人,

I can't believe you didn't know it was a lie.

我不敢相信你不知道那是个谎言.

Guess what?猜猜怎么了?

You got a job?

你找到工作了?

Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing.

开玩笑吗?我没有一点经验.

I was laughed out of twelve interviews today.

今天我在十二个招聘中被嘲笑了.

And yet you're surprisingly upbeat.

但是你异常的高兴.

You would be too if you found John and David boots on sale, fifty percent off!

如果你发现约翰和大卫打五折,你也会和我一样的.

Oh, how well you know me..

是啊,你多了解我啊..

They're my new 'I don't need a job, I don't need my parents, I've got great boots" boots.

这就是,'我不需要工作,不需要父母,我有我的好皮靴'的新靴子.

How did you pay for them?

你怎么付的款?

Uh, credit card.信用卡

And who pays for that?

那谁付账单呢?

Um. .my. .father.我爸爸

C'mon, you can't live off your parents your whole life.

拜托,你不能一辈子靠父母.

I know that.That's why I was getting married.

我知道.这就是我为什么要结婚.

Give her a break.It's hard being on your own for the first time.

让她喘口气.第一次独立生活是很难的.

Thank you.

You're welcome.I remember when I first came to this city.I was fourteen.

不客气.我记得我第一次来这个城市时才十四岁.

My mom had just killed herself and my step-dad was back in prison, and I got here, and I didn't know anybody.

我妈妈刚刚自杀,我继父又进了监狱,然后来到这里,我谁都不认识.

And I ended up living with this albino guy who was, like, cleaning windshields outside port authority. And then he killed himself.

最后我和一个白化病患者住在一起,他给港务局的人清洗车窗玻璃.后来他也自杀了.

And then I found aromatherapy.

然后我做了按摩师.

So believe me, I know exactly how you feel.

所以相信我,我完全了解你的感受.

The word you're looking for is: 'Anyway'. .

你想说的话是:"无论如何"

All right, you ready?

好了,准备好了吗?

I don't think so.

我不这么想.

cut,cut. .剪掉.

Welcome to the real world!

欢迎来到真实的世界!

It sucks. You're gonna love it.

它糟透了,但你会喜欢的.

Well, that's it.

好啦!就这样了.

You gonna crash on the couch? 你要睡沙发上吗?

No. No,Igotta gohome sometime.

我要回家.

You be okay?你没事吧!

Yeah.没事.

Hey Mon, look what I just found on the floor.

嘿,莫妮卡,看我在地板上发现了

What?什么?

That's Paul's watch.

那是保罗的手表.

You just put it back where you found it.

放回原地就好.

Oh, boy!

Alright. Good night, everybody.

好吧.各位晚安.

Good night.

oh, sorry.

No, you have it, really, I don't want it.

不,不,你吃吧!真的,我不想吃.

Split it?分着吃?

Okay.

You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you.

你可能不知道,在高中的时候,我曾暗恋过你.

I knew.我知道.

You did! Oh. .

你知道!噢..

I always figured you just thought I was Monica's geeky older brother.

我一直认为你只觉得我是莫妮卡的怪哥哥呢!

I did.的确如此.

Oh. .

Listen, do you think ?

听着,你觉得?

And try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of a factor here,

不要太在意我脆弱的心灵，

but do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime? Maybe?

但是你觉得如果我约你出去可以吗？有时候?可能吗？

Yeah. Maybe.好啊，或许。

Okay. .  Okay, maybe I will.

好吧，或许我会的.

Good night.晚安.

See ya.再见.

Wait, wait,what's the deal?

等等,你怎么了?

I just grabbed a spoon.

我刚刚拿起了勺子.

I can't believe what I'm hearing here.

我真不敢相信我的耳朵.

I can't believe what I'm hearing here.

What? I-I said you had a. .

怎么了?我说你有一个.

What I said you had.

Would you stop?

你能不能停下来.

Oh, was I doing it again?

我又来了?

Yes!

Would anybody like more coffee?

有人要咖啡吗？

Did you make it, or are you just serving it？

是你煮？还是你只是服务一下？

I'm just serving it.

我只是服务一下.

Yeah, I'll have a cup of coffee.

好吧!给我来杯咖啡.

Kids, new dream. I'm in Las Vegas.

孩子们,新故事.我在拉斯维加斯.

I'm Liza Minnelli.

我是丽莎 明妮莉.