I found myself confused about the author’s gender the first time I read this book until I realized the writer transitioned from a woman to a man. The author uses this poem book to tell his story to the reader and I could feel his pain and struggle as his body changed over time. In the story about his transition between sexes, he felt so alone. To be honest, I never understood the many problems that transgender people face in society, but now I realize it is a major problem. Since not everyone experiences a sex change or conflict with gender, it is difficult for such people to change the way they think about this kind of situation because not long ago, the majority of society believed trans gender people were crazy.
This book teaches us how even though a body might change,one’s heart remains the same. For example, the sex change of the author did not change his love for his partner. I cannot image how sorrowful and miserable he had been throughout this transition, and expressed his gratitude for his lover by saying, “Thank you for protecting me from straight women. I’ll miss that.For making me think long and hard about why there was a marriage I was leaving”(Tolbert 284). It seems difficult for transgender people to adjust to life after this drastic change and maintain a relationship with their lover. This writer feared his own lover would leave him and expressed his worries to him by saying:
"You said I will pull you out of my body in 237 ways. / What you wanted was beautifully to sever things, / Here love: the same things. Changed. / Finally:a taxonomy of after thoughts. / As though you were the one who was sleeping. /Breathing in the marrow of would. / You, who are a valley of no, I hear the music leaking. (How she. How she. How I.) You say low key and I do not believe you. / I forgive everything: The perseveration of skin. / My hands that are a chopping block and I cannot touch him. I cannot touch him/ without not touching me (40).
From his poem, we can see how this change in gender caused him to face many problems. He still loved his man, but his body looked totally different, which shows how confusing his life was. I cannot imagination how he and his family dealt with the criticisms of society because many people and cultures are unwilling to accept difference and judged him accordingly. He writes about the challenges in this way:
"Be cause you never know which way to fold your napkin. / Because the beginning of most things feels so much like the end. / Praise the collapsed body of a dog licking its genitals. / praise self sufficiency; / the snooze button; the sudden widening / of the bed when you hear your lover leave. / Praise surrender.Praise catch and release. / Because a shotgun blooms from the hunter’s shoulder. / Praise the eardrum, the human skull found in Roque d’ Aille / with the prosthetic seashell ear. Praise symmetry in all / things binary. Praise the hermaphrodite. / Praise butch -bottoms and femme-tops. Praise / transistor radios. Praise scan and praise seek. (72).
This quotation shows us he changes the gender, but not want his lover to leave. It means everybody look sat him differently, include his lover, such as hard time for him. Normally in the society people always say it is not your business, I can choose my own way to live. In fact, people will use the old culture way to judge your life style. That’s the way we need to follow,he has no choice to accept anything people to say. Because he found new way for his life, it means irregular live style will take a risk for him to adventures.It takes time for him to adapt and feel comfortable what he wants to be.
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