by Zhu Ziqing
我与父亲不相见已二年余了，我最不能忘记的是他的背影。
It is more than two years since I last saw my father.What I can't forget the most is the back of him as he was walking away.
那年冬天，祖母死了，父亲的差使也交卸了，正是祸不单行的日子，我从北京到徐州，打算跟着父亲奔丧回家。
In that winter,misfortunes never come singly:my grandma died and father lost his job.I left Beijing for Xuzhou to accompany dad and hastened to go home for grandma's funeral.
到徐州见着父亲，看见满院狼藉的东西，又想起祖母，不禁簌簌地流下眼泪。
I met dad in Xuzhou.When I saw the sight of the mess in dad's house and thought about grandma,tears trickled down my cheek uncontrollably.
父亲说，“事已如此，不必难过，好在天无绝人之路！”
Dad said:"Now that things've come to such the pass,it's no use crying.Fortunately,there is always a way out."
回家变卖典质，父亲还了亏空；又借钱办了丧事。
After arriving home,dad paid off the debts by selling what we could.He also borrowed money to meet the funeral expenses.
这些日子，家中光景很是惨淡，一半为了丧事，一半为了父亲赋闲。
In these days,the circumstance of home was so bleak due to the grandma's funeral and the unemployment of dad.
丧事完毕，父亲要到南京谋事，我也要回北京念书，我们便同行。
After the funeral was over,dad was to go to Nanjing to look for a job,I had to return Beijing for school,so we started out together.
到南京时，有朋友约去游逛，勾留了一日；第二日上午便须渡江到浦口，下午上车北去。
I stayed a day in Nanjing for strolling about with some friends at their invitation and had to be ferried across Yangtze river to Pukou in the next morning for taking the train of Beijing on the afternoon of the same day.
父亲因为事忙，本已说定不送我，叫旅馆里一个熟识的茶房陪我同去。
Initially,dad said he was too busy to accomany me to railway station,but would ask an acquainted hotel waiter to walk with me.
他再三嘱咐茶房，甚是仔细。但他终于不放心，怕茶房不妥帖；颇踌躇了一会。
He urged the waiter again and again to take good care of me,but still did not quite trust him.he hesitated for quite a while.
其实我那年已二十岁，北京已来往过两三次，是没有甚么要紧的了。
As a matter of fact,there was nothing to worry about because I was twenty years old and there were several times to take the train of Beijing-Pukou.
他踌躇了一会，终于决定还是自己送我去。我两三回劝他不必去；他只说，“不要紧，他们去不好！”
After some wavering,he finally decided that he himself would take me to the station.I tried to talk him out of it repeatedly,but he only said:"It doesn't matter,I must go with you,it's better."
我们过了江，进了车站。我买票，他忙着照看行李。
We crossed the Yangtze and entered the train station.I was at the booking office buying ticket while dad was keeping an eye on my luggage.
行李太多了，得向脚夫行些小费，才可过去。他便又忙着和他们讲价钱。
There were too much luggage.We needed to hire a porter to help us carrying these.Dad had to bargain with porter over the tip.
我那时真是聪明过分，总觉他说话不大漂亮，非自己插嘴不可。但他终于讲定了价钱；就送我上车。
I was such a smart aleck then that I wasn't satisfied with what dad said when he bargained with porter and felt compelled to interrupt to correct dad's words.Finally,the bargain was clinched,they send me aboard the train.
他给我拣定了靠车门的一张椅子；我将他给我做的紫毛大衣铺好坐位。他嘱我路上小心，夜里警醒些，不要受凉。又嘱托茶房好好照应我。
Dad picked a seat for me close to the carriage door.I spread the purple fur-lined overcoat on the seat which he had asked the tailor to make for me.He told me to be watchful on the way,be careful and not to catch cold at night.He also asked the train-attendants to take good care of me.
我心里暗笑他的迂；他们只认得钱，托他们直是白托！而且我这样大年纪的人，难道还不能料理自己么？唉，我现在想想，那时真是太聪明了！
I sniggered at dad for being so impractical,for it was utterly useless to entrust me to those attendants who cared for nothing but money.Besides,it was certainly no problem for a person of my age to look after himself.Now,when I come to think of it,I realize how conceited I was in those days!
我说道，“爸爸，你走吧。”他望车外看了看，说，“我买几个橘子去。你就在此地，不要走动。”我看那边月台的栅栏外有几个卖东西的等着顾客。
I said:''Dad,you might leave now."But he took a look outside the train-cabin window and said:"Let me go shopping for some tangerines.You just stay here."I caught sight of a few street vendors waiting for customers outside of the barrier of the railway platform.
走到那边月台，须穿过铁道，须跳下去又爬上去。父亲是一个胖子，走过去自然要费事些。我本来要去的，他不肯，只好让他去。
To reach that platform must cross the railway track by jumping down and climbing up the wall of the platform.Dad is a fat man and it would be a strenuous job for him.I was supposed to do by myself,but he insisted,so I had to let him go.
我看见他戴着黑布小帽，穿着黑布大马褂，深青布棉袍，蹒跚地走到铁道边，慢慢探身下去，尚不大难。可是他穿过铁道，要爬上那边月台，就不容易了。
I watched as he,in his black skullcap,black cloth mandarin jacket and dark blue cotton-padded cloth long gown,walked towards the railway track carefully and leaned down slowly.It wasn't too difficult for him,but he had trouble climbing up the wall of the platform.
他用两手攀着上面，两脚再向上缩；他肥胖的身子向左微倾，显出努力的样子。
He clung onto the edge of platform, lifted his legs up and his corpulent body tilted slightly to the left.Obviously,he struggled at the movement!
这时我看见他的背影，我的泪很快地流下来了。我赶紧拭干了泪，怕他看见，也怕别人看见。
I was watching him from his back side,at that moment,tears gushed from my eyes.I quickly wiped tears away to avoid detection by dad or others.
我再向外看时，他已抱了朱红的橘子望回走了。过铁道时，他先将橘子散放在地上，自己慢慢爬下，再抱起橘子走。
When I looked outside again,dad was already on the way back with some bright red tangerines in his arms.When he was crossing the railway track,he first put the tangerines on the ground,strode slowly and then picked them up again.
到这边时，我赶紧去搀他。他和我走到车上，将橘子一股脑儿放在我的皮大衣上。于是扑扑衣上的泥土，心里很轻松似的，过一会说，“我走了；到那边来信！”我望着他走出去。
When he approached,I stepped forward to give him a hand.We walked in the train and he dump all the tangerines on my overcoat.He dusted down his suit and sighed with relief.After a while,he said:"I'll be on my way,don't forget to write me from Beijing!"I watched him walk out.
他走了几步，回过头看见我，说，“进去吧，里边没人。”等他的背影混入来来往往的人里，再找不着了，我便进来坐下，我的眼泪又来了。
After a few steps,he looked back at me and said:"Go back,don't leave your things alone." I,however,did not go back to my seat until his figure was lost in a rush of people and no longer visiable.I came in and sat down,eyes were wet with tears again.
近几年来，父亲和我都是东奔西走，家中光景是一日不如一日。他少年出外谋生，独力支持，做了许多大事。那知老境却如此颓唐！
In recent years,both dad and me have been living an unsettled life and the circumstance of our family tends to go from bad to worse.Dad left home to seek a livelihood when he was evey young,made a living to support the family single-handedly and accomplished many great things.But how would he get so downcast outcome in old age!
他触目伤怀，自然情不能自已。情郁于中，自然要发之于外；家庭琐屑便往往触他之怒。他待我渐渐不同往日。
The discouraging state of affairs filled him with an uncontrollable feeling of deep sorrow, and his pent-up emotion had to release.That is why even mere domestic trivialities would often make him angry. Meanwhile,he became less and less nice with me.
但最近两年的不见，他终于忘却我的不好，只是惦记着我，惦记着我的儿子。我北来后，他写了一信给我，信中说道，“我身体平安，惟膀子疼痛利害，举箸提笔，诸多不便，大约大去之期不远矣。”
However,the separation of the last two years has made him more forgiving towards me. He keeps thinking about me and my son. After I arrived in Beijing, he wrote me a letter, in which he said, "I'm all right except for a severe pain in my arm. I even have trouble using chopsticks or writing brushes. Perhaps it won't be long now before I depart this life."
我读到此处，在晶莹的泪光中，又看见那肥胖的，青布棉袍，黑布马褂的背影。唉！我不知何时再能与他相见！
At this point,through the glistening tears, I again saw the figure of corpulent father, wearing the dark blue cotton-padded cloth long gown and the black cloth mandarin jacket. Oh, how long can I see dad again!
1925年10月在北京
In October 1925 from Beijing
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