Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts.
要有一颗永不变硬的心，一副永不厌倦的脾气，以及一种永不受损的风格。——查尔斯·狄更斯
我是小花，一只上班喵，一株英语趴，天有点冷，人有点懒，小花在努力学英语，跟简书语言·翻译群一起。
很高兴认识你，这是我的第10篇笔记。
let's go!
写在最前面：
你知道的~本文出现的参考翻译与讲解内容均来自简书语言·翻译群内夏天主编的解析。
11月7日 练习 请将以下中文使用英文表达。
初冬的天，灰黯而且低垂，简直把人压得吁不出一口气。前天一场雪还给居民一些明朗，但雪后的景象可不堪了！
参考译文：（源自张培基先生）
It was early winter. The gloomy and low sky made one feel suffocating. A fall of snow a couple of days before had brought to the city dwellers a touch of brightness, but now what an ugly scene reigned!
解析：
第一句：初冬的天，灰黯而且低垂，简直把人压得吁不出一口气。
译文：It was early winter. The gloomy and low sky made one feel suffocating.
1、“初冬”这个时间节点，译文用了it was加时间，这种表达很有时代感与背景感。It was early winter既非常简洁，又交代了时节背景，对读者而言，充满了代入感。
夏天主编说：大家可以回忆一下看过的青春电影或者小说，开头是不是经常出现，那年夏天，毕业那年，那年冬天等等。语言是相通的。
2、make somebody do ⋯⋯这个词组，是我们初中就学过的词汇，却非常适宜于表达原文的使役含义。
3、suffocate，其含义为“窒息”，正是“吁不出一口气”的意思，非常贴切。此处也可以用suffocating的近义词stifling来表达。
4、参考译文将第一句处理成两个英文短句，十分简洁有力，凸显了原文压抑的气氛。
夏天主编说：不知大家读到这两句英文，是不是有种观看《寂静岭》的感觉，荒芜、压力、难以喘息。
第二句：前天一场雪还给居民一些明朗，但雪后的景象可不堪了！
译文：A fall of snow a couple of days before had brought to the city dwellers a touch of brightness, but now what an ugly scene reigned!
1、“前天”，译文用 a couple of days before, 没有直接使用 the day before yesterday，更高端与地道。
2、“一些明朗”，译文用a touch of brightness，如果读过今早发过的全文，就会发现这篇散文整体基调十分悲怆。所以“一些明朗”其实是指“很少的明朗”。而 a touch of的意思就是 a very small amount of。
3、“雪后的景象可不堪了”，译文用 what an ugly scene reigned。我们可以注意到原文是一个感叹句，那么译文当然用对应句式来处理会更加合适。
4、reign，这是一个书面用词，含义是if a feeling or quality reigns, it exists strongly for a period of time ；支配，盛行，用在此处正是表达雪后悲戚的景色“统治”着人们的视野。
群里大神的翻译：
猫咪爱喝茶老师
The sky in early winter is gloomy and drooping, driving people to breathlessness. The snowfall on the day before yesterday has brought brightness to the residents, but the scene after the snow is miserable.（主编评：翻译的很好，很准确。文法也很正确，考试中，这样的作品就会有不错的分数。）
听音悦活老师
The sky full of gray and downcast clouds in the early winter, was so heavy and near that everyone hardly had breath. The snowfall in the day before yesterday brought residents back some brightness, but the scene after snowfall was complete miserable.（主编评：做的很好，用语都很简明准确。）
Simon老师
The sky of early winter's is so gloomy and droopy that everyone can't have a breath. And the snowfall of the day before yesterday had brought the residents some light, but after that was a terrible scene.（主编评：做的很好，用语都很简明准确。）
小花
The sky of early winter, gloomy and low, made us feel breathless. The snowfall of the day before yesterday brought some brightness for the residents, while it was in an awful state after that.（主编评：做的很好，插入语用的很好）
以上，周二快乐哦~加油~
网友评论