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“为什么我准时到了,他还生我气?”

“为什么我准时到了,他还生我气?”

作者: 花华畫 | 来源:发表于2019-08-24 20:12 被阅读5次

                  “我们约好了”


临近中秋了,你是否又和三五伙伴约起了?甚至连哪家餐厅、几点见也早已商量好。

相约,总是让人需要等待的,等着日历翻到那一天,时针走到那一刻,双方见面了才生效。情人之间的相约是一种美好甜蜜的期盼;职场上商务人士的相约更像是一次机遇;亲朋好友间的相约则更多的是一次放松的叙旧... ...

相约,很多时候是约定见面。所以,答应赴约的人,也是谁也不想随便搞砸一次约会的吧!

在一场约定里,“守时”应该说是最基本的约会礼貌吧!在不同的国家文化里,对于“守时”有不同的理解。

下面,我们看看韩国人、日本人、德国人、巴西人... ...对于“守时”是怎样理解的?

“为什么我准时到了,他还生我气?”

              “守时”=“准时”?


In many respects, South Korea is a very ordered society. The influence of Confucian principles runs through every aspect of day-to-day living. Well, in theory, at least. Central to this is Kibun, the concept of saving face. As a result, confrontation is to be avoided at all costs and one way to avoid any unpleasantness is to be on time, all the time. And to be lax in this regard is to mark oneself out as a cad and a bounder.

韩国在很多方面都是一个秩序井然的社会。儒学的影响贯穿着韩国人日常生活的方方面面。至少在理论上是这样。其中最核心的就是“面子”观念。因此,无论如何都要避免面对面的冲突,而避免任何不愉快的一个方法就是永远都准时。如果不遵守时间,就会被视为粗鲁可鄙的人。

Despite being famous for their high-rolling gamblers the Japanese just don’t gamble with time, where tardiness generally results in groveling and sincere expressions of deep regret. However, the modern world being what it is, young Japanese people may well be more comfortable with the remorseless global lowering of societal standards than older generations, and might not expect you to beat yourself up too badly should you be late.

尽管日本赌客以出手阔绰闻名,但是日本人绝不跟时间赌博。迟到往往伴随着谦卑的道歉和深深的悔意。不过,在现代社会,随着全球标准的放低,日本年轻一代可不像老一代那样恪守时间了,如果你迟到了他们应该也不会太在意。

In the case of Germany, being on-time is a risky enough tactic as your hosts will probably already be there waiting, wondering how on earth you could be so foolish as to allow the possibility of some unforeseen circumstance delay you by so much as a second.

在德国,准时到是有风险的,因为你的主人很可能早就在那里等候了,而且正在想你怎么会这么欠考虑,一点时间余量也不留,万一有意外耽搁了呢?

It has been said that in Brazil, there is a widespread tolerance for delays. For example, it is considered impolite to arrive on time for a social occasion. That is probably due to the fact that it is unlikely the hosts would even be ready to receive their guests! Having said that, if you are a visitor to the country and have an important business meeting, it’s probably best not to do as they do because, not being Brazilian, you haven’t earned the right to be on anything other than ‘English time’.

据说巴西人对迟到普遍都很宽容。举例而言,在社交场合准时到达被视为没礼貌。这很可能是因为主人都还没准备好接待他们的客人呢!尽管如此,如果你是到巴西参加重要商务会议的外国人,你最好不要效仿巴西人的做派,因为你不是巴西人,没有资格不守时。

Some countries don’t give timeliness a priority in their societies and Saudi Arabia appears to be one of them. It could be that the lack of importance attached to timeliness is as a result of their long history of desert living where punctuality doesn’t figure highly on the list of everyday priorities. It could be that it’s too damn hot to do anything at pace. Whatever the reason happens to be, don’t expect punctuality on the part of your hosts, don’t get upset by this and please, don’t start looking at your watch during a professional or social gathering. It is considered quite discourteous.

有些国家不在乎是否守时,沙特阿拉伯就是其中之一。这也许是因为沙特人历史上长期生活在沙漠里,而在那儿守时并不是人们在日常生活中要优先考虑的事情。可能是因为沙漠里太热了,没办法行云流水地做任何事情。不论是什么原因,不要期望你的主人会守时,也不要因此而心烦,更不要在工作会议或社交聚会上看手表,这是一种失礼的行为。

Ghanaians are a very relaxed and accommodating people who reckon that if everyone is late then no one is late. After all, what can’t be done today can get done tomorrow. If you find that kind of attitude difficult to deal with, prepare to be annoyed. Otherwise, sit back and enjoy the ride.

加纳人非常放松、随和,他们认为如果大家都迟到,那就没人迟到。毕竟,今天做不了的事情可以等到明天再做。如果你认为这种态度难以接受,那就只能生闷气了。如若不然,你大可以和他们一样散漫。

The Indian novelist R.K Narayan once wrote that “In a country like ours, the preoccupation is with eternity, and little measures of time are hardly ever noticed”. Indeed, the Hindi word for yesterday and tomorrow is ‘kal’ so it’s fair to say that the concept of time differs slightly in India than it does in other parts of the world. To add to this, issues with traffic and infrastructure can also act as an impediment to timeliness. Still, it is appreciated if a guest is punctual. Just don’t expect that your host will always do the same.

印度小说家R·K·纳拉扬曾写道:“在我们这样的国家,人们关注的是永恒,几乎注意不到时间的小碎片。”确实如此,印度语中表示昨天和明天的词都是kal,因此可以说印度人的时间概念和世界其他地方是不太一样的。除此以外,交通和基础设施的问题也会阻碍印度人守时。尽管如此,主人还是喜欢客人准时到达。只是不要指望主人也能守时。

When in Greece it is worth remembering that Greeks ‘pass’ the time as opposed to ‘use’ it. In other words, time is something to be enjoyed rather than fretted over. As such, it is not unusual to arrive 30 minutes later for a dinner party. However, this laxity does not extend to business meetings where visitors are expected to be on time. As you might have guessed, the same rule doesn’t always apply to your Greek hosts.

在希腊时,你要记住,希腊人是消磨时间而不是利用时间。换言之,在希腊,时间是用来享受的,而不是用来奔忙的。正因如此,希腊人在宴会上迟到30分钟很正常。不过,在商务会议上可不能这么散漫,与会者都应准时参加。你大概也猜到了,希腊主人无需守时。

When doing business in Russia, it is important to be on time. To be otherwise is considered disrespectful. Ironically, Russians won’t hold themselves to the same standards of timeliness that they expect from you so, again, patience can be key.

在俄罗斯做生意,守时很重要,否则就会被视为不尊重对方。讽刺的是,在守时这方面,俄罗斯人对待自己和别人是完全不同的标准,所以耐心很重要。

It is often said that Malaysia has a very loose attitude toward punctuality in both the personal and professional sphere. Talk to any expat who has spent time there and they might grumble in agreement. However, this is to overlook the oft-times chaotic traffic and malfunctioning public transport that many Malaysians have to deal with on a daily basis. So while there might be a liberal attitude toward time keeping, there might also be practical reasons underlying this.

常听人说,马来西亚人在私人和职场生活中都不守时。问问任何一个在马来西亚待过的外国人,他们大概都会一边抱怨一边表示赞同。当然,也不要忽略马来西亚人每天都要面对的混乱交通和蹩脚公交。所以尽管他们没有时间观念,但是背后也有实际原因。

不同国家间对于约会的“守时”既受民族固有的思维习惯影响,也受地理环境影响,而形成特定的约会文化。因此,了解和“入乡随俗”会给你的这次社交出场大大加分。

首发于:中英文摘阅读

文 | 畫姐

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