图片：Unsplash
今天是 2017 年 12 月 18 日，是再平常不过的一天了。
每到年底，心里总有莫名的伤感，每个人都在谈论 2017 年自己经历了多少，可回顾年初目标，却不免长吁短叹，恨不得时光倒流，把那些计划统统删除，这样还能心安理得些。
昨天无意间翻开 QQ 空间，十几篇日志安静地待在那里，仅仅瞥见两页标题，便直戳内心，有些熟悉依旧，有些可笑至极。细细想来，那些文字可是我最真实的内心活动，而大学前三年竟然都是在悲春伤秋，仿佛这个世界都是与我为敌，寻不得出路，觅不到解药，唯有用文字来发泄心中的那些小情绪。
我轻轻地按下鼠标，一篇一篇地浏览，每一个画面都历历在目。只可惜，大家早就已经转移阵地了，也许我们真的过了「一边谈笑风生，一边暗自较劲，恨不得将人生的所有喜怒哀乐都贴在社交平台」的那个年纪。那时的我，装着与世无争的态度，却总是不解风情，只好借着说说中的那些想法聊以慰藉。
说起写作的契机，其实特别简单，就是为了想经年后能够找回那些年曾奋不顾身的自己，望着那些一笔一划刻下的心情，我愣了好久。
原来，时间真的是一把杀猪刀，我们变得圆滑世故。可我依然相信，世上那些最简单、最纯真的美好，就是通过文字触动更多与你境遇相同的人，若是因为一句加油、一段鼓励、一篇作品，他们的人生就变得与众不同，我愿意一直做下去。我同样坚信，你的文字终究会传递你是怎样的人，你有怎样的故事，你又将要去往何方，在时光的长河中，我们一路同行。这也是我在年初重新记录人生的原因之一。
翻看考研后那篇自白时，我突然想到，原来还有一周考研党要初试了，原来那段青春已经过去快五年了，不禁感慨万千。
对每一个经历过考研的人而言，考研从来都是一条很艰难的路，有太多人中途放弃，我也有过放弃的念头，眼见同学一个个去外面闯荡，我还在埋头做题。每个人觉得自己是孤军奋战，而你只是茫茫人海中中的一个罢了。而压力就像梦魇，每时每刻都在拷问我们脆弱的心灵，唤起我们对未知的恐惧。
在我动摇时，她却在一旁默默地鼓励我，两个人一起占座、看书、上课、下自习。我也有了新的信念，既然选择了考研，就要走下去，这才是为人生负责的态度。
有时我们咬咬牙，发现当初那些看似过不去的坎，其实都是过眼云烟罢了，你只是站得不够高。
那段长达半年的战役，现在回忆起来还是温暖不已，下面这篇文章就是我对于考研生活的诠释，若是太长，看看后记即可。
（文章首发于 2013 年 1 月 13 日，为了方便阅读，此处做了删减）
The moment I stumbled across the writing task in the middle of the English examination during the two-day fateful battle, what popped into my mind was this phrase, illuminating but penetrating, which had epitomized the whole strenuous drill. My mind wandered while the other fighters completed their own missions. It was all about the determination as well as fortitude, everyone hastily agreed, or so it seemed. It is acknowledged that one who has a willing heart will wind up being the most admired general after the tribulation, and overshadow all his contemporaries.
By and large, the fundamental wisdom shared by the troops of graduates rested on the harsh reality that the intimidating future will not fully embrace the newcomers unless proven. All of us, I believe, is driven by some unknown yearning, the potential force which strengthens us. To our enduring gratitude, we came, we saw and we conquered till the end.
Luckily, the whim faded away as I put pen to paper. Leaving behind every trivial stuff, I somehow managed to concentrate. The other day vanished in a puff where I constantly calmed down myself with “Yes, I can.” Every second, every hour seemed to hypnotize and confine me in the little universe. The truth that I was not strained was perplexing at first, but it was later justifiably explained by one of my teachers that I was entitled to a host of choices even the result turned out unsatisfying.
Relieving as the exhortation is, I could not help wondering how the road would end up. After the action concludes, I decide to enjoy my life of leisure. However, whenever I catch a glimpse of the forum or anything relevant to the post-graduate examination, my heart races and then I would be curious enough to rush the pages. A maxim remarked by one of the candidates enlightens me: Always hoping for the best and expecting the worst. That is human’s nature all over.
However, along the road every single foe is no easy to be taken down, both physical ordeal and mental stress. It is more than clear to describe the stereotyped routine of a workaholic.
As usual, he wakes up subconsciously at 6:40 in the morning while other roommates are still playing their own inception games. Then, after scrambling for the regular seat in piles of arrogant books, he is fortunate enough to be glued to his domain during the whole day. At times, he has to wave gracefully to other devoted students and even wrestle with the strike squad of librarians. The frequent episodes of dominating and defending territories never die away.
Often, there are passionate reciters who strain to appreciate the texts in the corridors; there are enthusiastic soldiers who endeavor to seize the beachhead and make a heavy blow to hard-to-digest puzzles. The invisible pressure heightens whenever he stares at those dedicated ones, and he moves on with another wave of attack on the obscure articles.
When his most familiar ally repeats the padlock at 21:50, he hurriedly clears the table with a regretful look, hoping desperately to land a higher rank the next day. As he expects to call it a night, the assignment from other courses visits him, with which he engages swiftly but sluggishly. So, this typical pattern goes on and on until the ultimate showdown. Three, two,one…Bang...
Perennially, the mental limbo is no less profound than the energy-sapping preparedness. The long-standing confrontation between the ideal and the efforts continues to sink in my mind. So many temptations are there that I have to reinforce my resistance, shunning anything that lures me into indulgence. But it is always harder than imagined. Hesitation, weariness and anguish occasionally assault me violently, and by savoring them the hard way I come to realize the gist of fighting as incisively expressed in an old saying: As the going gets tough, the tough gets going. I then double my arms and charge again.
So the Odyssey takes a lifetime to pursue. While I have been striving forward, I feel indebted to a bunch of comrades, who are always behind my back and watchout for me, and in particular, to my beloved one.
I am much grateful for what U have sacrificed and I promise to be stronger because of U. Many thanks~
A New Chapter and A New Calling…
后来，我幸运地过了复试，来到了心目中的上海财经大学，从此领略了上海的魔幻现实主义；
再后来，我怀着对考研论坛的感激之情，专门发了篇经验贴回馈那些领路人与后继者；
再后来，那个陪伴我的考研的女友现在成为了我最亲爱的那个人；
再后来，那些共同努力的战友们也各自圆梦，少了联系，只是隔空遥望。
我想，这才是每个人面对的真实世界。
写到这里，再次想起老黄那句话：
是什么曾经拯救了你，你就用什么来拯救这个世界。
结果怎样真的并不重要，真正重要的是：世间万物，唯有努力与爱不可辜负。
谨以此文纪念那个奋不顾身的自己，以及那些正在奋战的考研人。
祝你们好运~
希望你能够有所启发。
欢迎吐槽、转发或分享~
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