by Yu Guangzhong
假如我有九条命，就好了。
If only I had nine lives!
一条命，就可以专门应付现实的生活。苦命的丹麦王子说过：既有肉身，就注定要承受与生俱来的千般惊扰。现代人最烦的一件事，莫过于办手续；办手续最烦的一面莫过于填表格。表格愈大愈好填，但要整理和收存，却愈小愈方便。表格是机关发的，当然力求其小，于是申请人得在四根牙签就塞满了的细长格子里，填下自己的地址。许多人的地址都是节外生枝，街外有巷，巷中有弄，门牌还有几号之几，不知怎么填得进去。这时填表人真希望自己是神，能把须弥纳入芥子，或者只要在格中填上两个字：“天堂”。一张表填完，又来一张，上面还有密密麻麻的各条说明，必须皱眉细阅。至于照片、印章，以及各种证件的号码，更是缺一不可。于是半条命已去了，剩下的半条勉强可以用来回信和开会，假如你找得到相关的来信，受得了邻座的烟熏。
I want to use one of nines to deal with the reality.The Prince of Denmark said:"Everybody who is alive must be suffer from problems in this world. "One of the most annoying things about modern people is to go through formalities and one of the most annoying aspects of formalities is to fill in the form.The more large chequers are,the more easy it is to fill in them.But it is more convenient to sort out and store these with small size.Forms are issued by the authorities,and of course it strives to be small.So the applicants have to write their address in long and narrow lattices that could be filled with four toothpicks.Many of them have lengthy address included street,alley,house number,have no idea to fill in.At this time,the applicant really hope that he is God, or just fill in " the heaven".It will come anther when applicants finish one.It would attach with closely-written various captions that applicants should read them carefully.As for photos, seals, and the numbers of various documents,they are indispensable.Therefore, the half of life is gone,and the rest of life would barely be used for answering letters and meeting if you can find relevant letters and endure the smoking from another near by position.
一条命，有心留在台北的老宅，陪伴父亲和岳母。父亲年逾九十，右眼失明，左眼不清。他原是最外倾好动的人，喜欢与乡亲契阔谈宴，现在却坐困在半昧不明的寂寞世界里，出不得门，只能追忆冥隔了二十七年的亡妻，怀念分散在外地的子媳和孙女。岳母也已过了八十，五年前断腿至今，步履不再稳便，却能勉力以蹒跚之身，照顾旁边的朦胧之人。她原是我的姨母，家母亡故以来，她便迁来同住，主持失去了主妇之家的琐务，对我的殷殷照拂，情如半母，使我常常感念天无绝人之路，我失去了母亲，神却再补我一个。
I will use one to stay the old home for accompanying father and mother-in-law.My father is over ninety. He was blind in his right eye and his left eye could not see clearly.He used to be the most extrovert who liked to talk freely to his neighbors.But now he is walled in his lonely world vaguely,rarely goes out.He is only to recollets what he experienced with his wife before her death,and mom already has been dead for 27 years.He also misses the daughter and granddaughter scattered in other places.My mother-in-law is already eighty years old,and she can't walk with firm steps because she broke her leg in five years ago.She walks slowly with tottering steps,takes care of dad.She is my aunt and she came here since my mother died.She plays the mother's role to share our household chores,does everything she can for me like my mom.It often makes me feel that every cloud has a silver lining: God would make up the loss of love in another way when I lost my mom.
一条命，用来做丈夫和爸爸。世界上大概很少全职的丈夫，男人忙于外务，做这件事不过是兼差。女人做妻子，往往却是专职。一个人有好太太，必定是天意，这样的神恩应该细加体会，切勿视为当然。我觉得自己做丈夫比做爸爸要称职一点，原因正是有个好太太。做母亲的既然那么能干而又负责，做父亲的也就乐得“垂拱而治”了。所以我家实行的是总理制，我只是合照上那位俨然的元首。四个女儿天各一方，负责通信、打电话的是母亲，做父亲的总是在忙别的事情，只在心底默默怀念着她们。
I will use two lives to be a qualified husband as well as dad.There are probably very few full-time husbands in the world. Men are busy at earning money, and seldom do housework. Women tend to be housewives.If a man has a good wife, it must be God's will, so he should be thankful and not be taken for granted. I think it's better to be a husband than to be a father. That's because he has a good wife. If the wife is so capable and responsible, her husband would feel a lot more relaxed.My family runs the hierarchy, I have the central position in the family portrait.My daughters live far apart from each other, mother is in charge of communication and calling them.I'm always busy at other things, and I only miss them in my heart.
一条命，用来做朋友。中国的“旧男人”做丈夫虽然只是兼职，但是做起朋友来却是专任。妻子如果成全丈夫，让他仗义疏财，去做一个漂亮的朋友，“江湖人称小孟尝”，便能赢得贤名。这种有友无妻的作风，“新男人”当然不取。不过新男人也不能遗世独立，不交朋友。要表现得“够朋友”，就得有闲、有钱，才能近悦远来。穷忙的人怎敢放手去交游?我不算太穷，却穷于时间，在“够朋友”上面只敢维持低姿态，大半仅是应战。跟身边的朋友打完消耗战，再无余力和远方的朋友隔海越洲，维持庞大的通讯网了。演成近交而不远攻的局面，虽云目光如豆，却也由于鞭长莫及。
I will use the fifth to be a friend.Chinese men are only “part-time” husbands, but they are “full-time” friends.If wife gives permission to her husband being generous with money to friends, and husband will win a good name as "Meng Chang".Of course, "new men" does not take this kind of friend without wife.But "new men" can't be isloated,no friends. To be good enough as a friend, men must have money, free time for being on intimate terms with friends.The ones who are poor and busy could make friends? I'm not too poor,but haven't much time, don't dare to promise others, I just enjoy communicating with each other most of time. There is no more time to keep "the huge communication network" with friends from afar.It leads to the situation that I'm only close to friends who surround me.Although I have a very limited outlook, it's beyond the reach I can grasp.
一条命，用来读书。世界上的书太多了，古人的书尚未读通三卷两帙，今人的书又汹涌而来，将人淹没。谁要是能把朋友题赠的大著通通读完，在斯文圈里就称得上是圣人了。有人读书，是纵情任性地乱读，只读自己喜欢的书，也能成为名士。有人呢是苦心孤诣地精读，只读名门正派的书，立志成为通儒。我呢，论狂放不敢做名士，论修养不够做通儒，有点不上不下。要是我不写作，就可以规规矩矩地治学；或者不教书，就可以痛痛快快地读书。假如有一条命专供读书，当然就无所谓了。
I will use the sixth to read books.I didn't read many ancients' books,but modern's books are surging and drowning people. Whoever could finish studying bookmaking friends gave, could be called in the literary circle is a saint.Some people indulge in reading books they love can also become celebrities.Someone who try hard to study famous works will become great scholars.I have no ambition to become famous, and my culture is not enough to be great scholars. My work is about up to the average. If I didn't do writing, I could teach regularly.Or I didn't choose teaching, I could study freely. If there is one life to reading, of course, it does not matter.
书要教得好，也要全力以赴，不能随便。老师考学生，毕竟范围有限，题目有形。学生考老师，往往无限又无形。上课之前要备课，下课之后要阅卷，这一切都还有限。倒是在教室以外和学生闲谈问答之间，更能发挥“人师”之功，在“教”外施“化”。常言“名师出高徒”，未必尽然。老师太有名了，便忙于外务，席不暇暖，怎能即之也温?倒是有一些老师“博学而无所成名”，能经常与学生接触，产生实效。
Ones can teach well, they also need to put him all into every course.The students' examination questions are clear, but teachers don't know what students will ask.The teachers should prepare lessons before class, and check the papers after class, all of which are limited. It is better to play the “good teacher” role outside the classroom when they can chat with students. As the saying goes, the famous teacher left the outstanding disciple, not certainly all like this. If teacher is too famous, so busy with other things, do not have enough time to teach students well, how can it be also warm for students? But there are some teachers who are erudite and not famous, can often contact with students and produce actual effect.
另一条命应该完全用来写作。台湾的作家极少是专业，大半另有正职。我的正职是教书，幸而所教与所写颇有相通之处，不至于互相排斥。以前在台湾，我日间教英文，夜间写中文，颇能并行不悖。后来在香港，我日间教三十年代文学，夜间写八十年代文学，也可以各行其是。不过艺术是需要全神投入的活动，没有一位兼职然而认真的艺术家不把艺术放在主位。鲁本斯任荷兰驻西班牙大使，每天下午在御花园里作画。一位侍臣在园中走过，说道：“哟，外交家有时也画几张画消遣呢。”鲁本斯答道：“错了，艺术家有时为了消遣，也办点外交。”鲁本斯所以传后，是由于他的艺术，不是他的外交。
The seventh should be used entirely for writing. There are only a few writers who are professional in Taiwan. Most of them don't take writing as day job. My job is teaching, but teaching and writing have something in common and they are not exclusive.In Taiwan, I teached English day in the daytime and wrote using Chinese night before.They were compatible. Later I teached literature of the1930s in the day and wrote something of the1980s night in Hong Kong.They also ran in their own way. I think a professional artist should put his heart and soul into the literary and artistic creation. But serious artists don't put art in the main position. Reubens served as an ambassador of Holland to Spain. He painted in Imperial Garden every afternoon. A courtier walked through the garden and said: " well,an diplomat sometimes draw a few pictures for amusement! " Reubens responded: "It's wrong, some artists sometimes do diplomacy for entertainment." This reason why Lubensi became famous of his art, not his diplomacy.
一条命，专门用来旅行。我认为没有人不喜欢到处去看看：多看他人，多阅他乡，不但可以认识世界，亦可以认识自己。有人旅行是乘豪华邮轮，谢灵运再世大概也会如此。有人背负行囊，翻山越岭。有人骑自行车环游天下。这些都令我羡慕。我所优为的，却是驾车长征，去看天涯海角。我的太太比我更爱旅行，所以夫妻两人正好互作旅伴，这一点只怕徐霞客也要艳羡。不过徐霞客是大旅行家、大探险家，我们，只是浅游而已。
The eighth is dedicated to travel. I don't think nobody likes to look around: Seeing more people and reading more places can not only understand the world, but also recognize ourselves. Some people travel by luxury cruise, and Xie Lingyun probably will do. Someone carry luggage, tramp over mountains and through ravines and others travel around the world by bike. All this makes me envy. What I think is the best is driving to see " the ends of the earth". My wife likes to travel more than me, so this couple each other just as travelling companion. Xu Xiake is maybe also envious of this. But Xu Xiake is a great traveler and explorer, and we just look at the landscape.
最后还剩一条命，用来从从容容地过日子，看花开花谢，人往人来，并不特别要追求什么，也不被“截止日期”所追迫。
The last one to live leisurely, look at the flowers blooming and fading, the people who come out and pass away, not particularly to pursue something, not be forced by "deadline".
1985年7月7日
July 7, 1985
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