中国学生的作文,中规中矩四平八稳的居多。结构上无懈可击:开头-文章主体-结尾;语法上大错不多,小错不断;用词大众化安全系数高,但读起来味同嚼蜡。举个例子:
The man walked down the street . Along the way , he saw a dog. Then he saw a car going past . It just missed a young boy who was crossing the street . He steeped in some water and then turned around and went home .
看看段落中所用的动词:walk, see , go , miss , cross , turn ,都是大路货。读完整段,知道在讲什么,但脑海中无法浮现与之相关的具象场景,人物特征或动作细节。按照英语中的“show and tell ”的分野,这是在告诉我们一些事实(tell),而没有向我们展示一幅图画(show)。
刚才的段落,如果要用展示的手法来叙述,可以变成这样:
The frail , elderly tramp hobbled down the side walk , his white hair waving in the breeze . Suddenly , he noticed a black-and-white pup waddliing in the damp grass by the curb. It barked at him and scampered away . He snorted at the dog in disgust. Then he froze ! A blond boy in blue denim dashed into the street , just as a red Benz sedan roared towards him. The horn of the car blared as the speeding driver swerved, narrowly missing the child. Distracted by the near accident ,the tramp stepped into a large mud puddle , drowning his shoes in muck. Disheartened and shaking , he turned and plodded slowly toward a house in the distance .
与第一段相比,这一段多了不少形容词,具象动词和细节描写,顿时有了一种画面感。
两段相比,高下立判。
网友评论