问题描述：为什么有人不努力让他们的爱人感到被爱呢？

（这是一个Quora（国外的知乎）上的问答）

李贝琦：大多数时候，因为夫妇忙于生活，拌嘴吵架，怨恨出现，爱情就变得疏远，苦涩和陈旧了。

问题描述：我怎么让女票相信我真心想和她在一起？

李贝琦：让她意识到：你最好的总是先给她，大事小事优先考虑她。

永远诚实，和她沟通。

不要为了保护她，抑制你的想法，比如生闷气，为了不起冲突就忽略一些需要磨合的地方。

有时候她怕自己钻牛角尖，可能会依赖女生的第六感，所以你心里想着一件事，表面上转移话题，会让她没安全感。

此外，你们的矛盾就是该说出来的呀，她得学着克服问题，否则久积则患。所以，跟她沟通问题是可接受的，也是善良的做法。

你不能因为她害怕改变就整天牺牲自己的生活习惯。如果你委屈自己，正在为了取悦她改变，这段关系根本不对等、不健康。

还有，帮她渡过“信任问题”的难关看起来是不是很绅士？但你帮她逃避心理问题不是在帮她。

她需要直面“不信任感从何而来”的问题，用她的逻辑去理解、去纠正，而不是一味回避，调教爱她的男人按她想要的方式，来填补她内心深处缺乏的安全感。

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翻译此文是因为文章有趣，想要分享她的思想。另一方面，也可以给想要学习地道英语的人当材料。目前只翻译becky lee（我翻译成李贝琦）的回答。希望大家喜欢或者受到启发~

Why would a person not make an effort to make theirspouse feel loved?

Becky Lee

Becky Lee

7.8k Views

Most of the time it's because couples get busy goingabout life, and fights come and go and resentments are formed, and the relationshipgrows distant, bitter, and stale.

Written Jan 14, 2015 · View Upvotes

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How can I reassure my girlfriend that I want to be withher?

Becky Lee

Becky Lee

19.9k Views

Show her, by always giving her the best parts of you first,and prioritizing her before others.

Always be honest with her and communicate.

Don't withold feelings from her in order to protect her,such as hiding anger or annoyance to avoid a fight.

She has probably become obsessed with being hyper intuitiveto prevent being blindsided again, and telling her one thing when yourvibe/actual mood is contrary, will make her feel unsafe.

Besides that, she's going to have to get over it beforeit sabotages your relationship- and it's acceptable as well as kind tocommunicate this to her as well.

You can't allow your behavior to be shaped around herfears. If you are modifying yourself to comfort and convince her all the time,you aren't existing in a healthy, even relationship.

Also, carrying her through her trust issues may seem likethe gentlemanly thing to do, but you aren't doing her any favors in sheildingher from her fractured self.

She needs to face the feelings and get through them byher own logic, and not by sidestepping them by training her man to behave in amanner that minimizes her deep rooted insecurities.

本译文仅供个人研习、欣赏语言之用，谢绝任何转载及用于任何商业用途。本译文所涉法律后果均由本人承担。本人同意简书平台在接获有关著作权人的通知后，删除文章。