If God gives me another chance, 

        If God had given me another chance, I would have bravely chosen…?

If God gives me another chance, I'll…？ (translation of original works) If God gives me another chance, I'll…？ (translation of original works)

        If God had given me another chance, I would not have been influenced by my parents' prejudices, but would have chosen a career as light as a feather, so that I would not end up on the streets as a clown who could create value with my own hands. And I had to pretend to be happy, and free, and I became a hypocrite used to wearing a mask-a loafer, a wretch who wanted to get nothing, a man who lived by pretending to be poor and winning the sympathy of others.

If God gives me another chance, I'll…？ (translation of original works) If God gives me another chance, I'll…？ (translation of original works)

        If God had given me another chance, I would not have been as cowardly as I used to be, always hiding, standing behind my parents, watching what was going to happen. I will go to the podium and talk to my primary school teachers about my views and opinions. I will say "I love you" to the girls I have loved. I will live every day honestly and bravely, not at the mercy of lust. I no longer comfort or sympathize with myself, I will tear off the mask of hypocrisy, even if there is blood, with pain. Every day I pray to Jerusalem, to the peace and happiness of my parents, to my ill-fated fate, to my brothers and sisters, to my neighbors.

If God gives me another chance, I'll…？ (translation of original works) If God gives me another chance, I'll…？ (translation of original works)

        If God had given me another chance, I would not have been influenced by the God of desire, and I would not have sinned against God in my body's lust, so that the Holy Spirit had nowhere to live in me. And I'm not going to fall in love with a married woman, a beauty that fascinates me at the age of 40. Not like this enigmatic Cleopatra has skin relatives, I will keep my body and soul from being eaten by demons.

If God gives me another chance, I'll…？ (translation of original works) If God gives me another chance, I'll…？ (translation of original works)

        If God had given me another chance, I would have said to my father, "I love you, I love you with all I have, and I respect you with all my courage and strength, and you give me such a perfect lover." My beloved, what you have given me, sowed brilliant seeds on the way to tomorrow, accepted me in times of crisis, trusted me, and encouraged me, often whipping my fragile, sensitive soul. I will always remember you-all my father's kindness to me. ”

If God gives me another chance, I'll…？ (translation of original works) If God gives me another chance, I'll…？ (translation of original works)

        If God gave me another chance, I would not walk in the dark for seven years. I would bravely choose what a man should do." I will not continue to receive ivory tower education, because my education is in your hands, because my education is in the human society you created, because my education is in the beautiful words you created.

If God gives me another chance, I'll…？ (translation of original works) If God gives me another chance, I'll…？ (translation of original works)

        If God had given me another chance, I would have cherished the seventeen years I had wasted. In the past, I would find one or two things I didn't want to do every day, so that I could polish myself and practice like God's pure gold seven times a day. I'm going to read 40 books a day, I'm going to write this 4000-word article every day, I'm going to draw four crayons with a brush, and I'm going to think about the great magic secrets of time, the universe in me, and in my family.

If God gives me another chance, I'll…？ (translation of original works) If God gives me another chance, I'll…？ (translation of original works)

        If God had given me another chance, I would have traveled with little money to the Himalayas and to the city of Jerusalem, the birthplace of Christianity. I will use my conscience, my sensitive heart, my reason, my emotions, I will think of the memory to record every step of my way to the Himalayas. I will kneel piously in front of the wall of tears in Jerusalem and offer repentance, confession and weeping to God for my tragic fate. I will weep for my family, weeping for their poor, tragic, and repugnant fate. I will weep and repent for my nation, and pray for a nation as tragic, magnificent, tortuous, with blood and tears, with shouts and gunsmoke, as a unique historical picture in the world. If God gave me another chance, I would swing the pendulum of time, and every night near death, I would send a long confession to God, a Thanksgiving offering to God, a Thanksgiving sacrifice for my family, A sacrifice of peace to God for my people. I thank God for all the suffering, injustice, frustration, despair, abuse, death, rebirth, contempt, shackles. I thank God for still blessing me as a sinner who is still guilty and alive to this day. Thank God for giving me the opportunity and the right to breathe, let me still live, let me live as a witness for you and my God, let me live a good battle for you. No longer humble to live, no longer to live for myself. Live for those who love me, for those who bless me, and for those who hate me and curse me. For the sun created by God shines on the wicked and on the good.

If God gives me another chance, I'll…？ (translation of original works) If God gives me another chance, I'll…？ (translation of original works)

        If God had given me another chance, I would have said to myself, "Alan, beloved of God, will you still be afraid of the night by the faith God has given you?" With the love God gives you, will you still be afraid of suffering? With the wisdom God has given you, will you still be afraid of death? No, it's not over, it's just the beginning. Be strong and brave, and take up your cross until you return to heaven! God has prepared you a house of great glory and gold, and all the houses on the ground are out of reach, even the Forbidden City in China, the Louvre in France, the British Museum, even St. Paul's Cathedral. Even the Kremlin in Russia, even the White House in the United States, her house on the ground is incomparable! It's a house trained by fire and water, and countless agates, pearls, diamonds, precious jade. "

If God gives me another chance, I'll…？ (translation of original works) If God gives me another chance, I'll…？ (translation of original works) If God gives me another chance, I'll…？ (translation of original works) If God gives me another chance, I'll…？ (translation of original works)