My Solo Road Trip

作者: Sally_2072 | 来源:发表于2021-05-31 13:04 被阅读0次

Every few years I do something crazy – not completely crazy, but a little out of the ordinary. It’s kind of like a recurring mid life crisis, like I need to throw myself out of my comfort zone to find myself again. The last time I had such an episode was my 40th birthday when I went to Romania to build houses for the poor. It was a couple of years after I took the job to go back to China and build a new subsidiary for my US employer. It was an exciting time but tough as well. Half of the time I had no idea what I was doing and I was constantly questioning if I made the right decision to go back to China as an expat. I needed a breather, something that could jolt me out of my stress and self doubt, something unusual, but still manageable. So Romania was a calculated choice – charity work was something I always thought about doing but never committed to action.  Building houses was hard labor which could get me out of my own mind trap. And Romania, while a developing country, is still part of Europe, and had relatively safe and sanitary conditions compared to unknown destinations like Africa.

This time after being trapped at home for the pandemic for more than a year, I decided to go for a solo road trip. I’ve done solo travel before, many times, but never a solo road trip. That’s because I hate driving. Driving to me is the necessary evil of getting from point A to point B. There is no joy in it. In fact, I’m scared of it, because long distance driving is tiring, and especially when it’s on winding roads on top of a cliff. I remember at the end of my MBA program, we had to do a retreat at the Big Bear Lake, which is one of the highest mountains outside LA. I’m afraid of heights so I was terrified driving up the hill, glancing at the edge of precipice through my side view, my palms sweating the whole time.  I had to pull over many times to give way to other drivers who honked at me for driving so slowly.

But now I want to conquer that fear and drive thousands of miles by myself. That’s what I mean – I’m a little crazy. But apparently crazy is what I need every few years to feel alive.

Once I decided I was going to do this, I went into planning mode. First I needed a destination – I decided on Oregon. My cousin lives there and he is the closest family member I have in the US, so it would be nice to go visit. And it doesn’t hurt that the drive from Southern California to Oregon is supposed to be beautiful, especially around this time of the year.

Next, I had to ensure safety. The goal is to challenge myself, not to get myself in trouble. So safety is of paramount importance. Five weeks before the trip, I got my first dose of the Covid vaccine. So by the time I started my travel, I’m fully vaccinated. As a woman traveling alone, I also need some sort of self-defense mechanism in emergencies. So I bought pepper spray on Amazon and attached it to my car key so I have it everywhere I go. A gun is too much to handle, but a pepper spray gives me a sense of protection. I decided to leave my anniversary diamond ring at home to not attract unwanted attention, but still wear my small wedding ring. I also kept my cash and credit cards to a minimum and put them in my cell phone cover in my waist pouch.

Next, the route. Since we are able to work remotely, I decided to not take any time off from work, but instead plan my trip so every stop is 4-5 hours apart from each other. I figure if I finish work at around 4pm, it would still give me 4 hours of daylight driving time and during the days when I’m not driving, I could use those 4 hours to go hiking or sightseeing around town. Some days when I have few meetings during the day, I can even break up the driving by doing 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon. So I literally searched the map to find the towns that could be interesting destinations and are separated by a 4-hour drive. Travelocity allows me to cancel any hotel I book a day or two ahead of time free of charge, which gives me a lot of flexibility if I need to change my travel plan.

Finally, the packing. I took 3 days to write my packing list to make sure I didn’t forget anything. Since I’m driving my car, I could pack a lot in the trunk. So I did– including clothing (pretty light here, T-shirts and yoga pants go a long way), a selfie-stick (yes, I got that on Amazon just for this trip. A girl’s gotta travel in style), walking shoes for walking on paved roads, hiking shoes for serious hikes, flipflops for the beach, water shoes in case I want to go kayaking or water rafting, walking sticks for any strenuous hikes, yoga matt, dumbbells, and resistance bands (yes, I intend to work out on the road), my vitamins, band-aids, sunscreen, two pairs of glasses (which turned out to be a life saver, as one of them broke on the first day), all kinds of electronics (work laptop, personal laptop, work phone, personal phone, kindle, lots of chargers) and of course plenty of water, snacks, and wine (including my electric wine opener).

The night before the trip I could not sleep well. The images of steep hills, cliffs kept flashing and waking me up. My heart was beating fast, like the night before I went for my first dive in the Philippines. I was not a very good swimmer – in fact, I just learned how to swim a couple of years before – but swimming with fish in the deep ocean had always been my dream. Now that I booked the diving tour, I was either going to do it or I would probably never do it. So I pushed on with my pounding heart and those sweaty palms. And that half hour under the Boracay sea turned out to be the biggest thrill ever in my entire life! So this time, a little emboldened, I whispered to my fear – yes, I know you. But I’m not going to let you stop me.

Wednesday afternoon after my conference calls at work, I departed home for my first destination: San Louis Obispo. Immediately I learned three things: 1) Plan enough time. The trip from my house to the hotel was supposed to be 4 hours, but given the traffic in LA and the road work along the way, it quickly turned into a 5-hour drive. 2) Never trust the GPS. I was used to inputting the starting point and end point in my Google and let her guide my way, but somewhere after Santa Barbara, Google took me on a detour. It turned out to be a much more scenic route than the 101 freeway, but my gas was running low and I was concerned I may run out before the next main road. It worked out just fine -- when I stopped to fill my tank, there was probably still enough left that I could have gone all the way to the hotel without stopping, but I’m the over-anxious kind and it’s better to be safe than sorry. So 3) always plan your gas stops ahead of time.

The 5-hour drive was painful, I’m not going to lie. My back hurt and my neck ached. Many times, I had to remind myself this was what I wanted, a challenge, which means it is not fun while I’m doing it, but by the end, I would be proud I did it. Indeed, by the time I checked into my hotel and saw the breathtaking view of Morro Bay from my window, I could not help but smiled: I made it!

My next stop is Sacramento. My dear friend Mirela lives there so I made plans to have dinner with her. Here is the dilemma: I have an important call at 1pm (my CEO is going to be on the call). I have to check out at 11am, so I could not make the 1pm call at the Morro Bay hotel to start with, and even if I could, leaving Morrow Bay at 2pm would not give me enough time to get to Sacramento for my 6pm dinner appointment. Studying the map that night at the hotel, I came up with a plan – I would leave the hotel at 10am (I had meetings from 8-10am, but no meetings between 10am and 1pm), drive to Salinas, which is 2 hours away from Morro Bay, go to a Starbucks, have lunch there and also do the 1pm call there. This way it breaks up my drive and gives me plenty of time to get to my dinner.

The next day, I arrived at the Starbucks around noon only to find the music was too loud – there was no way I could make that important call with the loud music in the background. Instead of panicking, I decided to check out the Hampton Inn next door. The lobby was almost deserted -- it would be the perfect location for the call. So I begged the receptionist – “I’m not staying here tonight, but I’m a Hilton Gold member”, I said, “I need a quiet place to make an important call. I’m wondering if you’d be kind enough to let me do it in your lobby here”. The girl checked with her manager and came back with a pleasant smile: “Sure”, she said. She even gave me their wifi code, without checking my Hilton membership card. So I sat down at the lobby with my laptop, turned on my camera (with my fake Teams background), and had the call – not any different than if I was making that video conference call at home. Wow! I could really lead the life of a digital nomad! Amazing!

My dinner with Mirela turned out to be exactly what I needed for the trip. As an immigrant from Croatia, she and I grew up at the opposite ends of the world but miraculously shared a lot in common: growing up in foreign countries, learning how to survive as immigrants in the US, and working in the healthcare industry (Mirela and I used to be co-workers). And now in her early 40s, Mirela is dealing with her own mid life crisis. The analytical personality she is, she came up with a list of what she wanted for the rest of her life: a husband who adores her and understands her intuitively, a large, loving family with her daughter and a few adopted kids from Croatia, a group of women friends she could lean on… “What is your list, your ideal life?” she asked me. After thinking about it for a minute, a very long minute, I was embarrassed to admit, “I don’t know. I seem to lack imagination.” “No, that can’t be true!” she exclaimed. “You know what you want. What are you afraid of?” Do I? I asked myself. I spent a lot of time dwelling on the fact that everything I thought I wanted turned out not to be what made me happy: a job that pays well but I don’t feel fulfilled in, a lot of casual friends in every corner of the world, but not a community I feel I belong, a life envied by many but inside I always feel a void, with what to fill I have no idea of. What do I really want? Do I even dare to dream at this point in my life? Is it too late? I don’t know and maybe that’s why I wanted this solo road trip – now that I’ve completed my hero’s journey, what is my artist’s journey? What do I really want for the rest of my life? I was ashamed that I had no answer for Mirela, even though I am a few years older than her and I feel like I should have the answer. “You know. Deep in your heart.” Mirela insisted. She even suggested that we do a girls’ trip every quarter so we could conduct QBRs (Quarterly Business Reviews) for our lives and keep each other on track.

As thought-provoking as the dinner with Mirela was, I was glad Julie, my personal trainer, called me on FaceTime early next morning to take my mind off the heaviness of soul searching. An immigrant from Belgium, Julie is so young, energetic and cheerful that I do not mind at all that our training sessions are virtual. I have been a nerd my entire life, hating PE classes in elementary and high school. It is only in the last couple of years I started getting in touch with my body, doing hikes and yoga. And boy, I realize I missed out a lot! Indeed, our minds are closely connected with our bodies and a clear mind is only possible when our body is relaxed and refreshed. So after gaining a bit confidence with yoga, I started my muscle training with Julie a month ago, to get to the next level of fitness with my body. I love Julie’s expertise, her holistic approach (including nutritional advice), and her personalized app that tracks all of our activities. And today I was excited to graduate from my 5-pound dumbbells and try out my new 10-pound dumbbells. It’s so satisfying to see progress, no matter how small it is!

The workout gave me all the energy I needed for my next drive from Sacramento to the quaint little town in Oregon, Ashland. I did make a wonderful lunch stop at the picturesque Cook House, Shasta Lake. Even though I have been living in California for over 25 years, I have never driven north of San Francisco. It was astonishing to discover how far north California stretched beyond San Francisco and even more astonishingly, how beautiful the scenery is in these little known areas.

Ashland was what my cousin recommended. And he did not disappoint. It was the first town in Oregon for me and a perfect introduction of the down-to-earth, friendly folks in Oregon. This is a town where people say hi to strangers walking on the street, where the locals gather around the downtown park playing Frisbee, where you line up at the local ice cream shop and the single scoop is going to send you to sugar high. My hotel clerk sent me to a room that was not cleaned. So in order to compensate for his mistake, he gave me a whole suite – a recurring theme throughout my trip: what seemed to be an inconvenience always turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

Day four: Ashland to Bend. This has always been the most apprehensive part of my trip. Going through Bend to Portland is a detour, but one of my co-workers lives in Bend and has told me so much about it that I had to go visit. The only problem: I was concerned that the drive from Ashland to Bend could be one of those twisting and winding roads that I was scared of. I inquired about the drive, trepidly, with my cousin, my co-worker, and even the hotel clerk in Ashland. “It’s ok,” they assured me, “but it is a highway, not a freeway.” They added, which did not ease my nerve. So I did more googling on my own – luckily I found out I should not follow GPS directions (lesson #2) to go on the Dead Indian Memorial Road (that name alone gave me pause), which was a shorter distance, but extremely narrow and winding, and took highway 62 instead, which turned out to be a smooth ride.

Bend is totally worth it! This little town – my husband came here for an interview 15 years ago and thought it was the middle of nowhere – is an outdoor lovers’ haven. With the Deschutes River running through its downtown, and the many lakes surrounding it, there are endless hiking trails around here, many of which get 4.8 ratings on AllTrails (an app for hiking trails), an extremely high and rare to find rating. And I lucked out on my hotel – located on one of the premier golf courses in the country, it is exactly the luxury I’m looking for at the end of that long drive. The secret to an enjoyable road trip – do not skimp on lodging. A comfortable bed, a hot shower, and a room with a view are the essence of a good life.

So a little less than half way through my solo road trip, I’m sitting in front of my computer, sipping a glass of red wine (the Pinot Noir in Oregon is my favorite), writing my weekly blog, my heart is filled with gratitude. I’m thankful for the unfulfilling, but well paid job that I have that allows me to travel while working; I’m thankful for the fact that I live in America, this vast country with so much beauty (I’ve always thought I live in the most beautiful part of the country, but little did I know there is so much more to discover); I’m thankful for modern technologies like GPS and AllTrails that enable a city girl like me to navigate the wilderness; I’m thankful that at the age of 48, I feel healthier and stronger than I have ever been in my life; and most of all, I’m thankful for the people I met along my journey: my dear friend Mirela who challenged me, the friendly receptionist at the Hampton Inn who gave me a hand when I needed it, and the family from Portland, whom I tagged along during the lava cave hike this morning because I was too afraid to hike in the dark on my own, with whom I struck a conversation and who became my “cave family”.

I’m still searching for who I am and what I want — I did not find the answer during my Romania trip, nor do I expect to find the answer on this trip — but in this process of seeking, I’m starting to deconstruct and recreate bits and pieces of myself – a bit bolder, freer and closer to my core.

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