Singing Snowberg
Chapter Two
Morph <6>
Chros©
I feel the burn on my skin, we’re still under the rays of sunshine. Her face doesn’t looked good, maybe she cried while I was in Uyuni.
“Why don’t you go back home?” I asked her. She silenced for a while, “I was more fucked up there, no one knows me here.”
“Now I know you.” I’m too brisk to make a comment. She smiled in a conspicuous way, she might not care about what happened between us today. It makes sense, she doesn’t know me at all, I’m a mad cleaner, she earns much more than me. We’re not perfect for each other, but “could I meet you another day? I’ll be just here every lunch time.” “I shall find you,” she stands up and about to leave, “by the way, thanks for the music.” “I can lend you, if you want it for some time.” This is too much, but I just said it. She refused and gone.
She doesn’t even know my name. Loneliness and coldness are back, good things come and go, they created a byproduct called disappointment.
I’m exhausted after the work of a whole day, I need a shower. The bad thing in bad thing is: the originally worse hot water system now is totally not working. Looking at my nudity, the same feeling as this morning is coming back, I think I hate this body. I stand there for a long time, I want the burning. But I regret the thought of hatred, how can I hate this body? I love him, without him I can’t feel the heat, watch the burning blue. But the point of living in this body is not convincing enough, if I can’t see, can’t touch, then I won’t want to possess. Consequently, I won’t want him, or the intimacy, or the caring. Forget it Cyano, he’s a scientist, and you how about you you you! Nothing more than a loser begging for.... This is too far and too cruel.
I get dressed up after a sneeze, hope the public bath is still in service. There’re full of people. The good thing is, there’re lots of bodies. I want to entirely undress myself to show my loneliness even there’s a long sausage of men before me and a big chance to catch the cold. There’re good figures, but I especially looking for Asian bodies. Many of them are old enough to be my father, now my mind wanders about the old memories about my father. He was in good shape, not very hairy, when we took shower together, I was always curious about his sausage, I even tried to squeeze it, it felt nice, I think it’s bigger than mine. But we no longer took shower together after that, I think he told mum about my rudeness. That’s a mistake, I confess.
“Cyano.” I heard a voice I expected since my entry. He waves at me, he’s almost at the cell door, “come here.” This is a dream a dream a dream, if this is true it must be the luckiest moment in my very long life. I almost danced to him, actually inside. I’m standing on a cloud, trying to be not looked nervous.
“The hot water system of my cell stopped working.” Why did I say such a stupid obvious thing? “Mine doesn’t work as well,” his face lights up in the mist, shining with glitter, looked more attractive. I think of that wet dream, this is uncontrollable and spontaneous, down there I’m up a little. I have to distract myself.
“I met a Japanese girl today.” “Good.” “We had conversations.” He looks at the door, and it is opened right after.
“Tell me more.” He commanded. But I was busy to get my pants off, stupid pants, off you go, “what did you say?” “Never mind. Come on inside.” He meant the shower, he’s totally naked now, I’m so awkward like a penguin. I close my eyes under the hot rain, hot rain, Rosa, our star. Wake up Cyano don’t be stupid. I’m not sure if he’s watching behind me, but the uneasiness stays on my body. Until he pushed me away I realised a long time has passed. He is facing me sideways, I just can check out his body. Nice, nice, check, check, and for the dark forest under his abdomen, oh... good. Everything’s pretty good. He’s a bit taller than me, about 6 feet, neatly developed figure, just perfect for me, an ideal one. I forgot to retract my glance.
“You know what: I really like to stand under the shower head, feel the water hit my eyes.” “To wash your eyes?” “No, to feel the water.” At this moment I miss Sunder again.
“Let me try.” I walk under the head, can’t open my eyes, I knew he meant to feel the pain. I start to wonder: since when he talked like this? He may just started? But how?
Before we separate, he says, “come and have a drink? I took a bottle of mescal wine from our canteen room.” I love wine from this moment.
Now we’re in his cell, bigger than mine, he doesn’t have a roommate, the other bed is empty. Today, still my luckiest day. I want to remember every moment tonight! I don’t care how many before were lost.
“Do you want music?” “Yes please.” The melody is flowing, this is when things become sentimental.
“Oh, the music from my country, you like them?” I wanted to say not all of them, just the pure melody. But that’s not what I said. “I only like this one.” You liar! Stupid moron! You think you’re so smart to win his heart, no I’ll show you how! In this reason, I’m doing something stupid. My feet move my body to his cell balcony, but I just stare outside behind the glass, it must be extremely cold there. This glass has the best insulation ability, coldness outside and warmth inside, just this glass, perhaps I’m just feeling hot, burning again. Somehow I find this situation is strange as hell, then I figured out why, it’s my phobia to glass container. This world outside is the container, cold to the extent that the nitrogen is solidified, falling from the sky. When will she come back?
网友评论