看到一篇有意思的博客。
先介绍一下作者: Leo Babauta 是美国的一位著名博主,也是顶尖的时间管理专家。作为一名父亲,他有 6 个孩子,你没看错,整整 6 个!!他的孩子们年龄在 13 岁至 26 岁不等,自己呢,也刚过了46 周岁的生日。在他生日之际,他的成年孩子们总结了自己从父亲身上学到的 life lessons。
有意思的是,他们的总结出现了重合,因此作者便把这部分 life lessons 罗列了出来。
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, and it’s okay to fail. This was tied (with the next one) as the most common lesson on their lists — it made all their lists, I think. I really love that this lesson hit home with them.
犯错误并不可怕,失败也没什么了不起。
Have empathy & try to see things from others’ perspectives. This was the other lesson on all their lists, and again, it’s beautiful that they all took this to heart. I’ve tried to show them this through my actions, though of course I’m not at all perfect.
要有同情心,并且从别人的角度看待问题。
我身体力行了这一条,所以看到孩子们都写了这一条,非常欣慰。
Push out of your comfort zone. This is another one I’ve tried to teach by example, from running several marathons and an ultramarathon to doing things that scare me, like speaking on stage or writing books.
走出舒适区。
这一条也是我一直身体力行的。我不但跑完了几场马拉松和一场超级马拉松,并且挑战自己去做自己惧怕的事情,比如演讲和写书。
Don’t spend more than you have. This is such a simple idea, but one that is rarely followed. I’m glad my kids are starting out with this mindset — live within your means, save as much as you can.
花钱不能超过自己的收入水平。
这一条看起来如此朴素,很多人却做不到。花钱要以能力为限,尽量存下钱来。
Appreciate what you have & enjoy where you are right now. I love this one. It’s something that I try to embody, but also remind them when they are thinking about what they don’t have. Each time we’re stuck in complaint, it’s an opportunity to wake up to the beauty that’s in front of us.
对于现有的东西要懂得感恩,并且享受自己目前的生活。
我自己就是这么做的,并且在孩子们琢磨自己还缺什么东西时,我也会提醒他们这一条。怨天尤人时,我们应该把它转变成一个机会,去睁开眼睛发现眼前的美好。
Sadness is a part of life, and there’s nothing wrong with feeling it. Despite what I said in the previous item, it’s OK to feel sadness, pain, grief, frustration, anxiety, anger. In fact, most of us never want to feel those things, so we’ll do whatever we can to ignore them or get away from the feelings. Instead, I try to actually feel those things, as an experience. It teaches me about struggle — if we’re not willing to face our own struggles, how can we be there for others when they struggle?
伤心是生活的一部分,所以时不时感到伤心也是再正常不过了。
虽然我们要懂得感恩自己目前所有的东西,但是伤心、痛苦、悲恸、沮丧、焦虑和愤怒等情绪也是很正常的。但在生活中,大多数人都不想要这些感受,因此千方百计地去忽略和远离它们。而我却会真切地去感受并体验它们。它们教会我如何面对挣扎。如果我们连自己的情感挣扎都不愿意面对,那要怎么去安慰帮助别人呢?
Don’t give up just because something gets hard. As new adults, our four oldest kids are facing various struggles in new ways. This is part of growth, of course, but struggles never feel good. My job as dad has been to encourage them not to give up just because it’s hard — to keep going, and to use the struggle to grow.
别因为困难而放弃任何事情。
四个最大的孩子已经成年,面临着各种全新的问题。这自然是成长的一部分,但是要解决各样问题并不容易。作为父亲,我应该鼓励他们别知难而退,而要勇往直前、不断成长。
But don’t overwork yourself.That said, I’m not a fan of overwork. I believe the brain doesn’t function well if you keep studying or working past the point of exhaustion, so I try to teach them about taking breaks, resting, going outside and moving.
但别让自己太累。
我并不欣赏疲劳作战。当学习或工作让你过于疲累时,你的大脑无法正常运转。因此怎么正确地休息、去外面转转动动也是很重要的功课。
It’s okay to be weird in public. Have fun.I’m not sure why several of them had this on the list — they must have learned to be weird from someone else? OK, in truth, they might have gotten it from my tendency to dance and skip with them while we’re out walking around in a city, or to encourage us all to do weird things as a group, no matter what other people might think.
在公众场合做个“怪人“也没关系,好好玩。
我不知道为什么孩子们会把这条写上去,他们是从谁那儿学会“怪异”行为的呢?好吧,也许是我!和他们走走逛逛时,我会时不时跟他们跳一跳扭一扭,还会鼓励大家一起做些奇奇怪怪的动作,而不管别人的眼光。
Your reality is a reflection of the narrative you tell yourself. This is something I learned late in life, and I’m glad my kids are learning this. The good news is that you can learn to drop that narrative, if it leads to suffering. What would this moment be like without a narrative? Beautiful and free.
你的生活是受心理暗示的。
我很晚才意识到这一点,因此我很高兴孩子们现在就有这样的认识。如果你跟自己说的话总让自己痛苦,那么你完全可以丢掉它们。丢掉它们以后,此刻的生活何如?美好且自由!
Make people laugh. It makes their day brighter. I’m so happy they picked up this important lesson from me! With my kids, I’m mostly always joking, except for when I get (too) serious about teaching them an important lesson. The rest of the time, I try to take a lighthearted approach.
做个让别人笑的人。
这会让大家开心。我很高兴孩子们学会了这一课。跟孩子们在一起时,我总是在开玩笑,除非我在严肃地教他们一些重要的事情。除此,我都会选择轻松愉快的方式。
不知道等我的孩子们长大,我有没有勇气问她们从我身上学到了什么 life lessons~
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