早上抽空在网上读到一篇同题目雅思写作达人的高分范文,和以往一样,我从思路、素材和语言三个方面对范文进行了学习。思路方面,高分范文从人类科技进步入手提出农业技术发展无法解决全球饥慌问题的话题,进而和我一样,从原因和对策两个方面对话题进行讨论最后回应主题,结束全文。从这里可以看出在审题和主题拓展方面我的习作正日趋成熟,但切入主题的不同视角还是值得我今后借鉴和参考。
素材方面我学到的东西就更多一些。比如原因方面的农业耕地资源和灌溉条件的有限导致的粮食生产不足、农民只有农业生产这一唯一的生计来源而造成的贫困;措施方面政府的粮食援助计划、政府农业生产机械的贷款支持以及各行各业对农村乡镇企业多元经营和创收的扶持等等方案让我觉得还是十分可行和相关。
语言方面我也学到许多地道和有用的表达,比如“the development of agriculture does not bring any benefits to a practical situation”,“examine the main reasons of this case and some viable approach to the problem”,“the progress of agriculture would not create a world without starvation”, “soil erosion and lack of irrigation”等。
以下是我比对范文后对一稿做的修改,在这里发表出来供大家参考和借鉴。
1、开头
Recent era has witnessed an enormous development in agricultural technology like the high yield and anti-pest GM food breeding, efficient modern agriculture machinery, large scale automatic plantation technique so on and so forth, yet there are still large amount of people who have not enough food to feed themselves. Then what are the possible reasons for this awkward situation? Different people have different ideas. In my opinion, extreme weather condition, trade protectionism and poverty are the three main reasons.
2、主体#1
Due to irrational human activities in the past decades, too much green house gases are emitted into the atmosphere causing global warming and the frequent occurrence of extreme weather conditions, such as drought, flood, tornado, hurricane etc., which greatly damage the agricultural production turnout. What’s more, high trade tariffs and barriers between countries make the flow of affordable food crops like the wheat, rice and soybeans very difficult and their price soaring. Last but not least, people in the developing countries, for instance Latin America, Africa and South Asia are very poor, so they simply cannot afford the food sold to them from the rich countries hence leading to unnecessary famine, malnutrition even death from hunger.
3、主体#2
Faced with these severe food situation, I propose we global villagers join hands and tackle them by the following three viable measures. Firstly, let’s call on people to opt for a green life and reduce their carbon footprint as much as possible. Instead of using planes for short-haul flight, riding with high-speed train so as to consume less fossil fuel. Say no to disposable products such as one-off plastic bags, chopsticks and bottled water. Recycle batteries, paper and wine glasses, so on and so forth. Secondly, promote free trade rather than wage trade wars between various countries to maximize the availability of food and cut down food prices. Finally, we should advocate fair price for the poor farmers whose only livelihood depending on alternative economic crops like cocoa, banana, sugarcane instead of cereal crop in some developing countries. As consumers, we can invest in the whole process of the crop production in the poor countries to make the farmers who produce these non-grain agricultural crops with higher quality to meet the need of the world and at the same time increase their income so that they could pay for the food they need to overcome the consequences of starvation.
4、结尾
Food is the god of man, so the sufficient supply of food is the most crucial issue for people of the world especially those folks living in poor developing regions and countries. Combating climate change, advances of free trade and advocation of fair price are three remedies to relieve the current global food crisis despite the progress of agriculture for the contemporary world.
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