Here is an extract from a radio talk on marriage customs in different parts of the world by Professor Robin Stuart:
Despite the recent growth in the number of divorces, we in the West still tend to regard courtship and marriage through the eyes of a Hollywood producer. For us it's a romantic business. Boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy asks girl to marry him, girl accepts. Wedding, flowers, big celebration.
But in other parts of the world things work differently. In India, for instance, arranged marriage is still very common. An intermediary, usually a married lady, learns that a young man wishes to get married and she undertakes to find him a suitable bride. The young couple meet for the first time on the day of the wedding.
In Japan, too, arranged marriages still take place. But there things are organized in a different way. A girl wishes to find a husband, and the girl's mother, or an aunt perhaps, approaches the mother of a suitable young man and the young couple are introduced. They get a chance to have a look at one another and if one of them says 'Oh, no, I could never marry him or her', they call the whole thing off. But if they like one another, then the wedding goes ahead.
In parts of Africa, a man is allowed to have several wives. Now that sounds fine from the man's point of view, but in fact the man is taking on a great responsibility. When he takes a new wife and buys her a nice present, he has to buy all his other wives presents of equal value and, although we are obviously speaking of a male-dominated society, the wives often become very close and so, if there is a disagreement in the family, the husband has three or four wives to argue with instead of just one.
Now, most listeners, being used to the Western style of courtship and marriage, will assume that this is the best system and the one with the greatest chance of producing a happy marriage. But pause and reflect. Marriage must always be something of a gamble. Going out with somebody for six months is very different from being married to them for six years.
It is true that American women, brought up in the United States, who married Africans and went to live in Africa, have sometimes found it exceedingly difficult to assume the role of the wife of an African living in Africa. However, my observations have led me to believe that various forms of arranged marriage have just as much chance of bringing happiness to the husband and wife as our Western system of choosing marriage partners.
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