“Do you cook often?” a message sent by a father to his daughter in her twenties working in another city.
''Uhm...now and then” the daughter answered quickly while eating.''
“Yeah, of course." Her phone kept vibrating instantly "It takes efforts to cook." "And you know, if you cook too much, it'd be a waste" "If you cook too little, you'd feel hungry.'' "Eating alone seems a trouble."
The screen flickers again. And this almost made her puke up all the food she was chewing. ''So... it could be a good idea to get a boyfriend.''
Similar conversations have been going on in Chinese families for decades, poor or rich, big or small. Parents are anxious to see their boys and girls wed someone. It doesn't matter who it is. Just get married!
Even though they are adults, the sons and daughters are deprived of the power of choosing. It’s their parents who pull strings for them.
An old Chinese saying goes, if beyond 25, girls are less likely to have a good husband. This idea seems crazy, but it does make sense in a society where the aging parents still believe that youth and beauty are all girls have and that love is all about living a comfortable life. The parents also hope someone else would take over the responsibility of caring for their daughters. Men, though enjoying more freedom to choose when to get married, share the similar fate. Teenagers are forbidden to date by their parents. However, when they go to colleges, their parents get worried about whether their children can find a partner. In some extreme cases, they pool their resources to set up blind dates for their kids in the hope that they could get married as soon as they graduate from school. The big boys and girls struggle to have dozens of blind dates for the sake of the parents.
In Shanghai, there is a special place—People’s Park, the center of Shanghai—for matchmaking. Senior citizens would come to the park on weekends with a piece of paper that has their children’s information. The elderly hang the paper on an umbrella in search of a potential mate for their sons and daughters who are busy working at the time. Some posters read “My name is XX. I am 30 years old and 5.4 feet tall. I am a Shanghainese girl with a maste’s degree in financing. I’ve been working for XXX bank as a financial analyst for 7 years with an annual salary of over 300,000 kuai（or 45,700 US dollars). My parents are retired teachers. I am looking for a man who is over 6 feet tall with a master’s degree. He should have a downtown house and a car. He should be fit and caring…”
In fact, most of those dates couldn’t work out because it’s difficult for anybody to feel the chemistry with a complete stranger over an arranged dinner. Some people have become afraid of going back home as their parents would nag them about marriage. Not only their closest but their relatives ，once they get a chance，would ask them about the same topic hundreds of times. The pressure the single feel is more intensified than ever because people think if you are not married by a certain age, you could be a freak. It leaves them no courage to eat out or watch movies alone for fear that others probably point fingers.
For a lot of parents, it’s never easy to understand that things are different now. The younger generation would actually rather wait for the right person to come along than settle down with someone whom their parents deem a match. Also, a large number of the single folks are financially independent. This means that unlike the older generation who had to support each other to get by years ago, the younger generation could afford their daily expenses on their own. They even can, if anything, blow the money the way they like. Above all, they are not subjected to the clichés that people should have a permanent relationship when they look young. They choose who and when to marry.
Instead of interfering with their next generation, the parents should learn to enjoy their own lives. As for the nosy, they are nothing but noise. The single should gear themselves up with free will and bravery. With it，they will be doing just fine.
（原创作品）
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