A dialogue between Christine Liu, Founder of sHero, and Xiangwei Gong, President, DSM Hydrocolloids
女性领导力组织sHero创始人刘慧和帝斯曼亲水胶体总裁龚湘伟的一场对话
Part 3
第三部
C: Well, you know, you talk about roots, and when we meet with young women you know, in different, meetings, in different occasions, women sometimes are looking for their role models in their life. And to some extent you are their role model and they tell you. But who is your role model in your life?
C: 你知道，你讲到了根，你知道，我们在会议中，在形形色色的场合中会碰到年轻女性，她们有时候在寻找生活中的榜样。从某种程度上讲，你也是她们的榜样，而且她们也这样告诉你。那么谁是你生活中的榜样呢？
XW: We all have different role models. I am sure, and also in different life stages, we may look up to different people. Only, you know, in hindsight, looking back I realize that my mother has been a real strong role model (for me).
So my mother actually never received formal education, she is illiterate. She is 86 already but she has this really fountain of wisdom, and courage and love. So these three things, wisdom, courage, and love that I always…that always inspire me. It’s actually quite amazing. Because when you think about where my mother came from, really you know, a long long long long time ago, from the past generation. And what she has lived through, and what I’ve seen and experienced, are totally two different worlds, with no exaggeration. But on the other hand, when I look to her, she is so original, when I think about authenticity, I cannot find anybody more original than she is. So that must come from confidence. She can only be that confident, that original, because she is ...she’s herself. She is herself. And that makes me feel that, wow, I have…even if I have all these degrees, speak different languages, I can only want to aspire to be like her. So she inspires me a lot.
XW: 我相信我们都有不同的榜样，而且在人生中的不同阶段，我们会寻找不同的榜样。你知道，只是当我回顾我的人生时，我才意识到我的母亲就是我真正最强的榜样。我的妈妈从来没有接受过正式的教育，她不识字。她已经86岁了，她拥有这智慧，勇气以及爱的源泉。这三点，智慧，勇气以及爱，我一直…...这一直激励着我。这其实真的非常神奇。因为当你想想，我的妈妈来自哪里，真的，你知道她出生于在很久很久很久以前，是过去的一代，毫不夸张的说，她的时代和我活过的，我见过和体验过的，是完全不一样的两个世界。但是另一方面当我再审视她，她特别的纯粹，当我想到真实这个词，我找不到任何人能够比她更纯粹和真实。这来源于自信。她能如此自信，如此纯粹，因为她是……她是她自己，她一直都是她自己。所以，那让我觉得，哇哦，就算我拥有我这些学位，说不同的语言，我也只能向往成为她。所以，她非常激励我。
C：Wow, I think when your mom hears about that, and she will be also proud of you, as a daughter. I think you are doing the same thing as a role model to your daughter, your children.
和母亲孩子一起，阳光下度过最幸福的时光
2008年冬美国
母亲·2017年年底
非常庆幸母亲在美国相伴一年有余。那时候母亲七十七岁，儿子四、五岁，那一幕似乎就在昨天。
和刘慧一起对话，非常轻松愉快，却又让我思考了很多。
C: 我想你妈妈如果听到这些，她一定也会为她的女儿，你，感到骄傲，我觉得你也在做着同样的事情，也就是成为你女儿、你孩子们的楷模。
XW: Yeah, I hope so, I hope so. Actually it’s funny, when I was growing up, I thought because my mother didn’t read, didn’t, you know, know a lot. And I wanted…I actually didn’t want her to show up in school, because she was very original. Really, she didn’t really care much how people thought about her. So, in a way, maybe I would say even peasant-like. That’s how I felt, but I didn’t realize until later, it’s my insecurity to feel that way about her. She was just her, she never…it didn’t matter actually to her what people thought of her. And nowadays, this is very hard actually, even…we care so much what people think of us.
XW: 对的，我也希望如此，但愿如此。其实蛮好玩的，当我小的时候，我觉得我妈妈没读过书，不懂很多的东西，你知道的，我想……其实我那时候不想让她出现在学校里，因为她当时是那么纯粹（原始）。真的，她一点都不在乎别人是怎么看待她的。在某种程度上，我甚至会说(她)像乡下人一样。这是我当时的想法，但是我直到后来才意识到我这样对她是我缺乏安全感的一种体现。她只是她，她从不...... 别人怎么看待她对她都没关系。现如今，这样其实非常难做到，我们都非常在乎别人是如何看待我们的。
C: We always do.
C：我们一直如此。
XW: We always do. And it’s important. But (the key is) how you really look to yourself, to identify, and recognize, and appreciate who you are, and draw strength from who you are, from your roots, only then, you actually can really flourish. Of course you need to also, you know, dress to the circumstances and…and look good, and all those things. By the way, I’m not saying my mother didn’t look good, my mother looked…my mother is beautiful, a real original beauty. But I didn’t appreciate at that time, and now I’m actually very much like her in a way, I’m…I’m...maybe (like my mother) to some other people’s eyes, even to my...my children, I have to find a balance here: because I don’t want my children to say: stay away from school, because I embarrass them. And now, luckily, actually my kids, they think I’m cool, so that’s what I…what I try to do, to balance the coolness and being original.
XW: 我们一直如此（在乎别人对我们的看法），这也很重要。但是（关键是）你如何看待你自己，如何定义自己和自我认知，欣赏你做为你自己，并从自我认知，从你的根源中获取力量，只有这样，你才能真正的茁壮成长。当然你也需要结合你所处的环境来适当地穿着打扮，注意你的形象并展现你的美。顺便说一句，我不是说我的妈妈不好看，她非常的美——那种独特而纯粹的美。但是我当时没有办法欣赏而已，而现在我在某些方面越来越像她了。对于一些人的眼光，甚至对我的孩子也是（我现在变得像我妈妈的样子），我必须要找到一个平衡：因为我不想我的孩子对我说，不要去学校，因为我让他们觉得难堪。很幸运的是我的孩子都觉得我很酷，这是我在努力实现的，是平衡酷和做个真实纯粹的自己。
C: I think that’s part of the leadership trace, sometimes we carry from our roots.
C: 我觉得这是领导力特征的一部分，某些方面是从我们的根源中带出来的。
XW: Right, exactly, yeah！
XW：对的，正是这样。
C: And when we talk about, you know, the past, whether the changes, or whether we talk about the present challenges and the future choices, sometimes, you know, we think about our reflections. And I remember you said you are self-made, so what’s that?
C: 当我们谈到过去，无论那些改变，无论是现在的挑战和未来的选择时，有时我们会反思。我记得你说过你是自己打造出来的，能谈谈是为什么这样说吗？
XW: Well, I kind of already implied, I explained here where I came from, I am first generation college student from my family, in my family. And my mother was illiterate. She always wanted me to go to the best school, to study. If I tell her I am going to now quit my job and go for PHD, she would say “Oh! yeah do it! Great!” So, and she told me really to be hungry in that sense, to be always learning. And then, I am!
And then, secondly, I think being self-made, again, coming back to my roots, I always believed in myself. I believed I can make a difference, no matter whether at work or at home, I just never thought there was…there was anything I couldn’t do, well, maybe not to become a quantum physicist, I do recognize that’s where my limits actually come in. But other than that, I just believed in myself as long as I learn.
And then the other fundamental value, is about…is about love, big love, big love like what my mother told me.
XW: 嗯，我想我刚刚已经暗示过，提到过我来自哪里，我是我们家里的第一代大学生。在我的家庭中，我的妈妈不识字，但她总是想让我去最好的学校上学。如果我现在告诉她，我准备辞职去读博士，她会说：“很好啊，去读吧。太棒了！” 她告诉我要一直保持饥饿，保持一种学习的心态。然后，我确实是一直有学习的心态。
其次，谈到自我成就的话就还是要回到我的根上了。我一直都非常相信自己，我觉得我一定能做一些不一样的事情，不管我是在职场上还是在家庭中。我从来没有想过任何…...任何事情是我做不了的，呃…..我可能不能做一个量子物理学家，我还是知道我的局限在哪里，但是除那（硬的局限）之外，我只要一直学习，我就相信自己什么都能做。
另外，就是我的一个基本的价值观，就是关于…...关于爱。一种大爱，就像我的妈妈告诉我的大爱。
(To be continued)
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