雅思大作文007–现在的游戏不及传统游戏有助于孩子发展技能吗？（

雅思大作文007–现在的游戏不及传统游戏有助于孩子发展技能吗？（雅思2018年8月2日真题）

一、题目

Some people say that modern children’s games do not contribute to their development ( of a wide range of skills) as much as traditional games do. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

二、解析

这是一篇青少年教育的观点型作文。文章重点是选择一个立场并做原因分析。这个题目对于我来说似乎有点遥远（糟糕，不小心暴露了自己的年龄。不过没关系，我觉得年龄不是问题，重要的是自己的资历和才华，哈哈），我绞尽脑汁终于想到了以前我玩过的几个游戏，比如：捉迷藏、过家家（这个词有点记不清楚英文怎么说了，所以在一稿中就被我省去了。我是不是很机智呀？）、球类运动、老鹰捉小鸡、跳房子、丢沙包、跳皮筋等等。而现代游戏我看到得比较多的就是打电子游戏，比如什么英雄联盟，还有大型购物商场的儿童室内游乐活动。我本身比较反对电子游戏，所以自然而然我就选择了传统优于现代游戏的立场，并借鉴唐伟胜老师的写作思路，从物质、精神和社会三个层面论述了传统游戏优于现代游戏。

三、一稿全文

Games are felt to formulate essential part of children’ life, but which type of game better benefit the youngsters: modern games or traditional games has become a heated topic in recent years. To my mind,  modern games are inferior to traditional games in developing children’s overall skills and I believe the following are three contributing factors.

To begin with, modern games which are usually electronic video games or indoor leisure activities are not so good to kids physically because they usually lead to children’s near-sightedness, poor appetite and weakened physical state. While traditional games like ball games, hide-and-seek game or catch-me-if-you-can game involving  a lot of physical activities are usually played outdoors so are very beneficial to their physical well-being and make them healthy and strong.

Second, compared with traditional games, modern games often cause kids become addicted to them hence neglect their school education and prevent them from developing crucial congnitive skills and life sustaining speciality to support themselves after they step into the society. While traditional games don’t have this serious drawbacks and frequently acts as beneficial alternative for the teenagers to break from their arduous school work.

Third, modern games are poorer than traditional ones to cultivate teenagers’ social interactive skills. Due to the fact that modern games are mainly comprised of internet games, such as the League of the Hero, although they have certain kind of entertainment and educational values, most of them are digital games and don’t involve face-to-face communication. While real relationship need understanding interlocutors’ body language, facial expressions and other non-verbal cues, therefore digital online games could do little in this regard yet otherwise bring about kid’s feeling of isolation, alienation or even social interaction phobia. In comparison, kids usually play traditional games with their peers in the neighborhood in person, when they play these games with their little friends, their social interactive skills are naturally developed.

To sum up, modern games are weaker in cultivating children’s physical skills to stay in good shape, developing children’s balanced mental capacity to grow up into self-subsistence adult and social skills to form normal bond with other people, traditional games are highly recommended to the kids to help them better develop themselves. (427 words)

四、中午加了一个班，现在稍事休息，晚点回来完成范文比对和一稿的修改和完善。我们呆一会再见啦！

五、范文比对及原稿修改

刚才读了唐伟胜老师的最新7分范文，在写作思路、素材和观点的选用以及地道语言表达方面又有了新的领悟。

首先，在思路方面，唐老师用了和我一样的一边倒模式，但和我不同的是采用的传统游戏的优势和现代游戏的劣势两个方面来论证自己支持传统游戏的立场，感觉思路更清晰、逻辑性更强。另外，唐老师在话题引入方面也比较新颖独到、避免了千人一面的套路写法，从现代社会的孩子可能会缺失的他们祖父母玩过的游戏的乐趣，以及他们宅在家里打电子游戏的生活方式引出自己对话题的观点，这种方式比较推荐今后自己用在习作中，可能会给到评卷老师眼前一亮的感觉。

其次，在素材方面，唐老师使用了大量耳熟能详的传统游戏作为例子，比如放风筝、建沙堡、爬树、踢罐子等等，并对这些传统游戏的作用做了比较深入的刨析，提出了它们给孩子带去的自由、创造的空间、言传身教的身心益处。同时，唐老师还充分对比了现在数字游戏对孩子身心带来的孤僻感和肥胖症负面问题，比较我自己上面的习作论证方面显得更加有力度和有深度。在这些方面值得我今后进一步学习。

其次在语言使用方面，唐老师秉承一贯的精炼、亲民的文风，同样给我留下了深刻的印象。以下摘抄几个好词好句以享读者。

1、...most adults’ happiest childhood memories probably revolve around simple pleasures from playing such games as hide and seek, building sandcastles, flying kite, skipping rope,  and climbing tree.

2、 ...instead of just playing computer games like a little nerd in front of the screen.

3、 ...digital games have their share of benefits ranging from improved problem solving skills to special navigation abilities...

4、...today’s children should be allowed to play modern with limited screen time...