Gary Shteyngart 的小说 Lenny Hearts Eunice在2010年被New Yorker 评为“20 Under 40 Fiction”。故事发生于不久的未来，是在貌似科幻的背景下一个有关爱情的故事，是一个中年男子如何爱上一个叫尤尼斯的女子的故事。
Lenny Hearts Eunice
byGary ShteyngartJune 14, 2010
June 1,Rome.
Lucky diary! Undeserving diary! From this day forward, you will travel on thegreatest adventure yet undertaken by a nervous, average man sixty-nine inchesin height, a hundred and sixty pounds in heft, with a slightly dangerousbody-mass index of 23.6. From this day forward, you will join me on the journeytoward immortality. Why “from this day forward”? Because yesterday I met EunicePark, and she will sustain me forever.Take a long look at me, diary. What do you see? A slight man with a gray,sunken battleship of a face,curious wet eyes, a giant gleaming forehead on which a dozen cavemen could have painted something nice, a sickle of a nose perched atop a tiny puckered mouth, and, from the back, a growing bald spot whose shape perfectly replicates that of the great state of Ohio,with its capital city, Columbus, marked by a deep-brown mole.On most days I look like a CrisisNetstream of our befuddled Bipartisan Defense Secretary Rubenstein, trembling through his press conference afterour troops got routed atCaracas.Slight. Slightness is my curse in every sense.A so-so body in a world where only an incredible one will do.A body at the chronological age of thirty-nine already rackedby too much LDL cholesterol, too much ACTH hormone, too much of everything thatdooms the heart, sunders the liver, explodes all hope.
A week ago, before Eunice gave me reason to live, you wouldn’t have noticed me, diary. A week ago, I did not exist. A week ago, at a restaurant in Rome, I took out my datedäppärät, with its retro walnut finish and itsdusty screen blinking with slow data, trying to get a read on whether therewere any High Net Worth Individuals in the room—a last chance to find some newclients for my boss, Joshie, after having uncovered a grand total ofoneduring the whole year I’d spent in Italy trying to foist our Product onunreceptive rich Eurotrash. I approached a potential client, a classicallyattractive High Net Worth Individual.Helookedup from his wintrybollito misto,lookedright past me,lookedback down at the boiled lovemaking of his seven meats and seven vegetable sauces,lookedback up,lookedright past meagain.It was clear that for a member of upper society to even remotely notice me Iwould have to first fire a flaming arrow into a dancing moose or be kicked inthe testicles by a head of state.
And yet Lenny Abramov, your humble diarist, your small nonentity, will live forever.As the Life Lovers Outreach Coördinator(Grade G) of the Post-Human Services Division of the Staatling-Wapachung Corporation, I will be the first to partake of eternal life.
恋上尤尼斯
7月1日 罗马
幸运的日记本！你本不该享有如此礼遇！从今天起，你就要踏上最伟大的冒险之旅了，尽管是跟随一个神经兮兮的家伙，一个身高69英寸的中等个子，体重160镑，体重系数23.6，有点危险的家伙。从今天起，你将随我一起踏上奔赴不朽的旅程了。为什么是“从今天起”呢？因为昨天我遇到了尤尼·斯帕克，她将会支撑我永远走下去。日记本，好好地看看我，你看到了什么？一个瘦小的人，脸色苍白，眼神好奇而懦弱，前额光洁，宽的好像十来个洞穴人可以在上面好好的绘画一番；嘴巴小而起皱，上面“栖息”着镰刀状的鼻子；从后面看，那块不断秃发的区域宛然是俄亥俄州的地图形状，而在它的首府哥伦比亚的地方，则有一块深棕色的痣作标记。大多时候，我看起来像昏沉的两党国防部长鲁本斯坦，在我军驻扎于加拉加斯后召开的新闻发布会上不停地哆嗦。渺小，渺小就是我所有的祸根。一个无名小辈生活在一个只有佼佼者才可以过得风光的世界。一个生理年龄39岁的身体已被太多的低密度脂蛋白胆固醇，太多的促肾上腺皮质激素荷尔蒙，太多各式各样的东西摧残了心脏，切断了肝脏，毁了所有的希望。
一周前，在尤尼斯还没给我活下去的理由之前，恐怕你根本不会注意到我的，日记老兄。一周前，我压根儿不存在。一个礼拜前，在罗马的一家餐厅，我拿出我陈旧的机子，一个有着复古的胡桃木抛光，灰扑扑的屏幕闪烁着缓缓出现的数据的机子，费力地想找出房间里是否有高资产净值人士——这是为老板约西找到新客户的最后一次机会了，因为我去年呆在意大利一整年卖力的将我们的产品硬塞给那些富裕的却不愿花钱的欧洲名流结果却只推销出区区一份。我接近了一个很有潜力的客户，一个典型的高资产净值人士。他从冷冻荤素什锦（一道意大利菜）抬起头来，越过我，向我正身后看，回头看盘中亲密依偎的七个熟肉肠和七个蔬菜香肠，抬头向后看，接着又越过我朝我正身后看去。显然，要想引起一个上层社会人士哪怕一丁点注意，我必须得向一只舞着的驼鹿射去燃着火焰的箭，或者挨国家元首一脚。
而你卑微的日记主人，列尼·阿布拉莫夫，一个无足轻重的人，还是会永远活下去。作为Staatling-Wapachung公司后人类服务部的热爱生命客户拓展协调员（G级），我将是第一个加入永生的人。
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