乐观之人不会相信这十件事

乐观之人不会相信这十件事

So you want to be happy? Well, there’s only one thing standing in your way. You. Happiness is a choice that only happy people make. Here are the 10 delusions happy people don’t subscribe to.

你想要活得快乐？那好，唯一能做主的，就是你。也唯有乐观之人才会做出快乐的抉择。下面10个错想，乐观人士绝不持有。

Life is fair.

Happiness isn’t about always getting what you want. Happy people understand that sometimes life doesn’t go their way; life isn’t fair. What they do know, is that you can only do your best, forgive yourself for what doesn’t work, and let go when you need to.

人生是公平的。

快乐并非一定来自得偿所愿。乐观的人懂得有时人生不会一帆风顺；它并不公平。他们深知，唯有全力以赴，且对失败释然于心，必要之时学会放手，才会幸福。

Suffering is bad.

Suffering is an inevitable condition of humanity. You cannot survive this world without at least a little suffering. Happy people know a deeper happiness comes through surviving a deep pain. We learn what we’re truly made of when faced with such hurt.

苦难即不幸。

苦难是人类不可避免的经历。若经不得一点，便难存于世。乐观的人懂得何为历艰弥幸。当遭遇那些创伤之时，我们就会看到最真的自己。

. I’m in control of things.

As hard as you work, and as much as you try to plan it all out, you’re just not in control. You cannot control the actions or thoughts of others. In order to reach happiness, happy people accept this inevitable truth and learn to be proactive rather than reactive to life’s surprises and mishaps.

我是主宰。

无论你多么努力，不管你怎样煞费苦心，你都不会成为主宰。你都控制不了别人的行为或是思想。为了活得快乐，乐观之人会接受这个既定的事实，并学着预见人生悲喜，而非消极对待。

4. People are obligated to love me a specific way.

If your happiness is dependent on how other people feel about you, you will never be happy. You can’t please everyone and you certainly can’t force anyone to love you in a specific way. Happy people accept the way their loved ones feel, and work at showing their affection and asking for what they need rather than expecting people to love them the way they want to be loved.

别人就应该好好爱我

如果你把快乐建立在别人对你的情感之上，你将永远不得幸福。你不能赢得所有人的欢心，当然也无法强迫任何人来如何爱你。乐观的人在乎所爱之人的感受，他们努力表达心中的爱和需求，而非期待别人用他们渴望的方式来爱自己。

Everyone hates me.

This is a toxic belief and a delusion, yet sadly a great proportion of unhappy people fall prey to this, which is largely why they are unhappy. Happy people face the world with a healthy dose of curiosity and nonchalance. They are interested in others, yet not so dependent on being loved in a specific way. Making friends takes time, that’s all.

人人都讨厌我

这简直就是邪念和妄想，但不幸有相当多的悲观人士落入圈套，这也是他们不快乐的罪魁祸首。在乐观人士的世界里，有适当的好奇，也有适当的漠不关心。他们对别人怀有兴趣，但又不太倚恋特定方式的爱。交友需要时间，就这样。

I can’t.

If you believe you are incapable and let that belief keep you from happiness, then ultimately you give truth to a self-imposed fallacy. The only way to improve and succeed at anything is to try and try again. Consider this: who is your idol? Do you think he or she is so accomplished through a life void of failure? No! They simply do not let their doubts keep them from happiness.

我不行

如果你认为自己欠缺能力并让这个想法阻碍你的快乐，那么你终究会陷入妄自菲薄当中。万事取得进步和成功的唯一方法就是反复尝试。试想一下：你的偶像是谁？你认为他/她在整个人生中就毫无失败的遗憾么？不！他们只是没让自我怀疑阻碍了幸福而已。

7. I have something to prove.

Unhappy people seek happiness through approval. Unfortunately, that approval is impossible to achieve because it is caused by a inner lack, which keeps them constantly striving. Happiness can only be achieved through self-acceptance. Yours is the only approval you need.

我要证明自己。

悲观人士从赞扬中寻求快乐。不幸的是，由于内心空虚，那些赞扬并不能带来快乐，如此便造成了奋斗不止的局面。而快乐单从自我接纳中就可获得。你真正需要的赞扬出于自身。

It doesn’t matter.

“It doesn’t matter” is just an excuse. It’s what unhappy people tell themselves to avoid confrontation when they’ve been mistreated, or to endure a lack of courage when they don’t follow their dreams. Happiness matters. Respect matters. Don’t dismiss your needs to avoid responsibility of your own happiness.

没关系

“没关系”仅是一个借口。是悲观之人在遭遇不平时避免争执的自我劝说，或在放弃梦想时，掩饰勇气缺失的幌子。快乐有关系。尊重也有关系。不要因逃避担当寻求快乐的责任而背弃你的需求。

I’d be happier, if only I were [fill in the blank].

You know your routine. I’d be happier, if only I were skinnier, prettier, smarter, the CEO. Happy people know the secret to happiness is accepting themselves–flaws and all. It’s okay to work on improving yourself–we’re always in a state of learning–but it’s not okay to berate yourself for your flaws. Focus on your strengths.

如果我是...我会更加快乐

我知道你的想法。如果我更苗条点，漂亮点，聪明点，或成为总裁，我会更加快乐。快乐的人知道通往幸福的秘诀是接纳自我-接纳缺点及一切。努力提升自己当然可以-我们总是处于学习的状态中-但因缺点而苛责自己就使不得了。要发现你的力量。

I’m too old.

You are never too old. Yes, you may look silly. And, yes, it may be harder than you expect, but it’s never too late to choose happiness. Happy people keep choosing happiness every day, whether they felt it early on or discovered the secret later in life, it’s their choice. Life is unpredictable. The only sure thing is we’re all getting older one day at a time, so don’t let that keep you from happiness.

我太老了

你从不会太老。是，你可能会看起来年老色衰。可能衰老的过程比预期还要艰难，但是选择快乐永远不会太晚。乐观的人会选择快乐地度日，无论是及早还是微迟发现这个人生秘诀，这就是他们的选择。生命无常。唯一确定的就是我们都将在某天老去，所以别让衰老打扰了你的幸福。