原文选自《撒哈拉的故事》,作者三毛
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对于开车这件事情,我回想起来总记不得是如何学会的。很多年来,旁人开车,我就坐在一边专心的用眼睛学,后来有机会时,我也摸摸方向盘,日子久了,就这样很自然的会了。
我的胆子很大,上了别人的车,总是很客气的问一声主人:“给我来开好吧?我会很当心的。”
大部份的人看见我如此低声下气的请求,都会把车交给我。无论是大车、小车、新车、旧车,我都不辜负旁人的好意,给他好好的开着,从来没有出过差错。
这些交车给我的人,总也忘了问我一个最最重要的问题,他们不问,我也不好贸然的开口,所以我总沉默的开着车子东转西转。
等到荷西买了车子,我就爱上了这匹“假想白马”,常常带了它出去在小镇上办事。有时候也用白马去接我的“假想王子”下班。
因为车开得很顺利,也从来没有人问起我驾驶执照的事情,我不知不觉就落入自欺心理的圈套里去,固执的幻想着我已是个有了执照的人。
有好几次,荷西的同事们在家里谈话,他们说:“这里考执照,比登天还难,某某人的太太考了十四次还通不过笔试,另外一个沙哈拉威人考了两年还在考路试。”
我静听着这种可怕的话题,一声也不敢吭,也不敢抬头。但是,我的车子还是每天悄悄的开来开去。
登天,我暂时还不想去交通大队爬梯子。
有一天,父亲来信给我,对我说:“驾驶执照乘着在沙漠里有空闲,快去考出来,不要这么拖下去。”
荷西看见家信,总是会问:“爸爸妈妈说什么?”我那天没提防,一漏口就说:“爸爸说这个执照啊可不能再赖下去了。”
荷西听了嘿嘿得意冷笑,对我说:“好了,这次是爸爸的命令,可不是我在逼你,看你如何逃得掉。”
我想了一下,欺骗自己,是心甘情愿,不妨碍任何人。但是,如果一面无照开车同时再去骗父亲,我就不愿意。以前他从不问我开车,所以不算欺骗他。
Jacob’s ladder(excerpt)
When it comes to the business of driving, I always cannot recall clearly how I have learned it.For many years, while someone was driving, I was always sitting beside him with my eyes fixed, studying intently. Later when there was any chance, I would give it a try for myself. And it came very naturally for me to master the driving skills as time went by.
I was very bold so that every time I got on one’s car, I would ask the owner politely “Could you please let me be the driver? I will be very careful.”
Most of them would hand their car to me after they heard my humble requests. Whether the car was large or small, new or old, I always drove the car with great caution in order to live up to their kindness. Never had I ever made any mistake in driving.
All those who let me drive their cars always forgot to ask me the utmost question of my license. Now that they hadn’t asked, it was not proper for me to speak rashly. So I was just driving it around in silence.
For God’s sake, I was not going to get myself into trouble to run into traffic office for the time being.
When Jose bought a car, I fell in love with this“imaginary white horse ”.I often drove it to do my business in town or sometimes pick my“imaginary prince charming”up back home.
Because I was driving well and nobody had asked me about the driving license, I found myself falling into the trap of self deception, stubbornly assuming I already had a driving license.
There were several times when Jose’s colleagues were chatting away at home, they said: “It is murder to pass the driving test.Somebody’s wife failed the test for fourteen times and another Saharan is still at the period of road test for two years.”
I listened carefully to what they were talking about this terrible subject, not daring to utter a word or raise my head. But I drove my car here and there secretly as usual.
One day I received a letter from my parents, which said, “acquire the driving license when you are free in Sahara .It is no good procrasting it.”
When Jose saw letters from families, he always asked me what parents-in-law are saying .Before I was aware of it, I made a slip of tongue that day and said: “my father says I can no longer delay the matter of driving license.”
On hearing this, Jose, smirking with a sneer, said to me:“Well, it’s the requirement from father-in-law instead of me.You have no other way out of this.”
After consideration, I thought deceiving myself is of my own will, nothing to do with others. But if I was driving without a license and lied to my father at the same time, I wouldn’t allow myself to do this. He had never asked me about driving before so this was not really a lie to him.
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