What's a Crucial Conversation?

什么是关键对话

你一定遇到过下列情况:

·向上司提出你精心设计的方案，却被泼了一头冷水。

·要求下属加班，下属以沉默相对抗。

·和家人谈"开源节流"，他却只当是耳边风。

·要邻居遵守公德，对方却依然我行我素。

·要你的另一半浪漫些，对方却还是像根木头一样。

·请朋友还钱，朋友却总是找各种借口推托。

当你遇到这些情况时，你是沉默以对，还是尖刻批评，抑或拍案而起?

现在你不必烦恼了!

《CrucialConversations：Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High》

将帮助你以四两拨千斤的方式，

利用各种沟通技巧，

解决生活中难以应对的各种难题，

成就无往不利的事业并拥有更快乐的人生。

What's a Crucial Conversation?

什么是关键对话

The crucial conversations we're referring to in the title ofthis book are interactions that happen to everyone. 

They're the day-to-day conversations that affect your life.

Now, what makes one of your conversations crucial as opposed to plain vanilla?

First, opinions vary.

For example, you're talking with your boss about a possible promotion. 

She thinks you're not ready; you think you are.

观点不一

Second, stakes are high.

You're in a meeting with four coworkers and you're trying to pick a new marketing strategy. 

You've got to do something different or your company isn't going to hit its annual goals.

风险高昂

Third, emotions run strong.

You're in the middle of a casual discussion with your spouse and he or she brings up an "ugly incident" that took place at yesterday's neighborhood block party. 

Apparently not only did you flirt with someone at the party, 

but according to your spouse,

 "You were practically making out." 

You don't remember flirting. 

You simply remember being polite and friendly. 

Your spouse walks off in a huff.

情感运行强劲

关键对话之所以关键是因为这种对话的结果会影响我们的生活质量

What makes each of these conversations crucial-and not simply 

challenging,

 frustrating, 

frightening, 

or annoying-is that the results could have a huge impact on the quality of your life.

In each case, some element of your daily routine could be forever altered for better or worse. 

Clearly a promotion could make a big difference.

Your company's success affects you and everyone you work with. 

Your relationship with your spouse influences every aspect of your life. 

Even something as trivial as a debate over a property line affects how you get along with your neighbor.

Crucial Conversationn.A discussion between two or more people where ( 1 ) stakes are high, 

(2) opinions vary, 

and (3) emotions run strong.

How do we typically handle crucial conversations ?

人们是如何对待关键对话的

In truth, when we face crucial conversations, we can do one of three things:

• We can avoid them.

• We can face them and handle them poorly.

• We can face them and handle them well.

That seems simple enough. 

Walk away from crucial conversations and suffer the consequences.

Handle them poorly and sufferthe consequences. 

Or handle them well.

Master your crucial conversations and you'll kick-start your career(推动你的事业), 

strengthen your relationships,and improve your health. 

As you and others master highstakes(高风险)discussions,

 you'll also vitalize(赋予…生命；激发)your organization and your community.

Some Common Crucial Conversations

一些常见的关键对话

• Ending a relationship

• Talking to a coworker who behaves offensively or makes suggestivecomments

• Asking a friend to repay a loan

• Giving the boss feedback about her behavior

• Approaching a boss who is breaking his own safety or qualitypolicies

• Critiquing a colleague's work

• Asking a roommate to move out

• Resolving custody or visitation issues with an ex-spouse

• Dealing with a rebellious teen

• Talking to a team member who isn't keeping commitments

• Discussing problems with sexual intimacy

• Confronting a loved one about a substance abuse problem

• Talking to a colleague who is hoarding infonnation or resources

• Giving an unfavorable performance review

• Asking in-laws to quit interfering

• Talking to a coworker about a personal hygiene problem