我到底在害怕什么 ?

年轻时候的我，哈哈哈~

It is often said that roughly two things motivate people: interest and fear.

据说大约有两种东西可以激励人：兴趣和恐惧。

A lot of self-development programs and books deal with interest related topics: What is it that I really want in life?

许多自我发展的项目和书籍讨论的都是与兴趣有关的话题：生活中我想要的到底是什么？

What is my passion?

我对什么感兴趣？

What do I really-really want to do?

我想做的到底是什么？

What would I do if I’d win $50 million?

要是我有5千万我会做什么？

These are actually all very important questions, but just as important is to understand: What am I really afraid of?

实际上这些都是非常重要的问题，但是明白我真正害怕的是什么也一样重要。

So this has actually been the million dollar question for me in the last couple of years:

实际上这也是这几年来我认为最重要的问题：

"What am I really afraid of?”

“我害怕的到底是什么？”

This is a simple question that you should also ask yourself often. It is especially helpful to ask this question when you're at a crossroads and must decide how to proceed. This question will help you in situations where you need to decide if you dare to do something (start a new project, make a big change, have a child etc.)

这是个很简单的问题，你可以经常问问你自己。当你走到人生的岔路口，又必须决定走哪边时，用这个问题问自己会对你有好处。这种问题会在你害怕某些事情却又不得不做决定的时候给你帮助。

Remember, every time that you feel fear, ask yourself:

记住，每次你有所畏惧的时候，问问自己：

“What am I really afraid of?”

“我到底在害怕什么？”

Fears are usually completely irrational. It is very easy to go the way of automatic decision making:

恐惧常常是没有理由的。很容易使我们自觉的做些决定：

“I should do something (e.g. public speaking), I'm really afraid to do it, I will not do it. “

我应该做些什么（比如演讲）

But when you stop the automatic decision making process and ask yourself “What am I really afraid of?” good things will happen:

但是当你不再这样自觉的做些决定之后，问问你自己“我到底在害怕什么？”，好事就会发生了：

1. You’ll actually get to know a lot more about yourself.

你会真正的了解你自己

2. You’ll understand that most of your fear is irrational, unlikely to happen.

你会明白你大部分时间的恐惧都是不理性的，不可能会发生的

3.You’ll be able to overcome your fear and make a conscious decision on whether you want to do something or not.

你将会战胜自己的恐惧，在你想不想做这件事上做出理性的决定

Let's continue with the example of public speaking. I'm afraid of public speaking. I don’t instantly reject the proposal to speak however; instead I ask myself “What am I really afraid of?” I realize that:

让我们继续讨论公共演讲的这个例子，我不敢在公共场所演讲，但是我并不会立即拒绝在公共场合演讲的建议，相反的，我会问自己“我真正害怕的是什么？”我得到的是：

• I'm afraid that once on stage, I'll forget all the words.

站到演讲台上我就害怕，我会把演讲词忘得一干二净

• I'm afraid that I'm going to sweat.

我害怕我会在台上大汗淋漓

• I'm afraid that I'm going to blush.

我担心我会脸红

• I am afraid that I will become a laughing stock.

我害怕我会成为笑柄

• I'm afraid that I cannot handle it.

我害怕我不能做好

Now I’ll take one step further and ask myself whether I actually am afraid of these things; why am I afraid of these things; what are they saying about me; do I want to take action?

现在我会进一步问自己，我是否真的害怕这些事的发生，为什么我会害怕这些，他们会说我什么，我想做点什么。

I'm afraid that once on stage, I'll forget all the words.

站到演讲台上我就害怕，我会把演讲词忘得一干二净

That's never happened to me before, so this is unlikely. If I go well enough prepared, then I can avoid it. In fact, even if I would forget some words, this would not bother me, because I can be spontaneous in most situations.

这种情况是之前从没发生过的，因此这是不可能会发生的。要是我准备充分，这个问题也是可以避免的。事实上，即使忘词了，这也不会对我造成困扰，因为在大部分情况下我能自圆其说

I'm afraid that I'm going to sweat.

我害怕我会大汗淋漓

This has happened before but only marginally. In fact, this does not interfere with my performance.

这种问题出现过，但出现的很少。事实上，这也并不会影响到我的演讲。

I'm afraid that I'm going to blush.

我担心我会脸红

This has also happened before and it can actually interfere with my performance. But why is it that I start blushing in some situations? Does this bother me? (What am I really afraid of?!) Maybe social anxiety is something I should address.

这种问题曾出现过，确实也会影响到我的演讲。但是为什么会脸红，在哪些情况下我会脸红呢？这些会影响到我吗？（我真正害怕的是什么？）也许社交焦虑是我应该处理好的。

I am afraid that I will become a laughing stock.

我担心我会成为笑柄

I know the subject and I know the audience is actually supportive so this is very unlikely to happen.

我知道这个问题，我也知道听众一般都会支持我们的，因此这种问题也是不可能会出现的

I'm afraid that I cannot handle it.

我担心我应付的不好

This fear seemed real at first, but not anymore. Now I feel that I should go ahead and try. I am ready to confront and hopefully overcome my fear of public speaking.

似乎这种问题才是真正需要担心的，但也没别的。现在我觉得我应该试试。我已经准备好去迎接，战胜我对公共演讲的恐惧。