Toddler milestone: Socialization/幼儿的里程碑：社交

When and how it develops/社交是何时以及如何发展的

How did your child start connecting with other people? Making friends? It all began with you. As a parent, you are your child's first playmate – the first one to laugh at his antics and respond to his babbled "conversations." With your help (and reassurance), he's learned how to interact with others and discovered how easy and fun it is to get them to smile, make faces, maybe even make "raspberry" noises back at him.

你的孩子是如何和别人开始交往的？如何交朋友的？这一切都始于你自己。作为父母，你是你孩子的第一个玩伴——是第一个嘲笑他滑稽动作的人，是第一个对他含混不清的“对话”有反应的人。在你的帮助和安慰下，他学会了如何和其他人进行互动，学会了让别人微笑是多么地容易和有趣，学会了做鬼脸，甚至学会了怎么做，会让别人对他报以喝倒彩的嘘声。

For the next two years, he'll build on these first experiences, learning to play games, hold conversations, make friends, and delight relatives. Learning to socialize is a lifelong process, one that your toddler is now discovering firsthand.

在接下来的两年里，他将以这些早期经历体验为基础，学习玩游戏、交谈、交朋友，以及让亲戚们高兴。学习社交是一个终身的过程，你的孩子现在正在亲身体验这个过程。

12 to 18 months / 12到18个月龄

During the first year, your toddler focused mainly on developing physical skills such as grabbing and picking up objects and learning to walk. She enjoyed short bursts of playtime with others, such as Grandma and Grandpa, but she preferred you and perhaps a beloved babysitter or caregiver.

在出生以后第一年，你的孩子主要集中发展运动方面的技能，如抓东西，拣东西和学走路。她/他喜欢和别人玩一小会儿，比如和爷爷奶奶，但她/他更喜欢和你一起玩，或许和她/他深爱着的保姆，看护者一起玩。

It's a different story now that she's a toddler. She's increasingly interested in the world around her, though she still sees everything in terms of how it relates to her. As your child learns to talk and communicate, she's discovering other people and how fun it is to try to elicit reactions from them. (Toddlers love to flirt.)

现在，她/他已经个蹒跚学步的孩子了，情况就不一样了。尽管孩子仍然从自我为中心的角度来看待万事万物，但孩子开始对周围的世界越来越感兴趣了。当你的孩子学会说话和交流的时候，就会发现其他人的存在，发现试着引起别人的互动是多么有趣的事情。(蹒跚学步的孩子们喜欢挑逗别人。)

Of course, this is also the peak of many toddlers' separation anxiety, so your toddler may be unusually clingy and timid at times. Don't worry, this usually begins to diminish after 18 months.

当然，这段时期，也是很多孩子产生分离焦虑的高峰期，所以你的孩子有时可能会特别地粘人和羞怯。别担心，这种情况通常在孩子月龄满18个月以后开始减少。

Now is when your toddler will start to really enjoy the company of other kids, both her age and older. You may notice, though, that she and her pals engage primarily in "parallel play" – that is, they sit near each other but play on their own. Older toddlers (around 18 months old) start interacting more with their playmates but are fiercely protective of their toys.

现在是你的孩子开始真正享受有同龄人或稍大点的孩子陪伴的时候了。不过，你可能会注意到，孩子和小伙伴们主要玩的是“平行游戏”——也就是说，他们坐在一起，但是各玩各的。大一点的幼儿(大约18个月)开始和他们的玩伴有更多的互动，但他们对自己的玩具有强烈的保护欲。

Kids this age may act like mini Count Draculas, biting their friends, but that's usually related to their exploration of what they can do with their teeth and their inability to communicate what they need. Biting and other forms of aggression such as pulling hair or kicking usually disappear as your child learns to express her feelings through words.

12到18个月龄的孩子可能会像小德古拉伯爵（译者：动画片里面的吸血鬼）一样咬他们的朋友，但这通常是因为他们还无法用语言表达需求，用牙齿，是他们在探索能做点儿什么。当你的孩子学会如何用语言来表达自己的感受时，撕咬、揪头发、踢腿，这些攻击行为通常会自动消失。

19 to 24 months / 12到18个月龄

Around the time he turns 2, your toddler will start to actively reach out to other children. But as with any other skill, he learns how to socialize by trial and error. Right now, he's unable to share his things. That's because he lives in the moment and can't envision anything beyond it, so the concept of taking turns – of waiting to play with a toy until after his friend has a chance – is meaningless to him.

大约在接近两岁的时候，你的孩子会开始主动地和其他孩子们接触。但和其它技能一样，孩子是通过试错来学习如何社交的。这个时期，孩子还不能分享他的东西。这是因为这个年龄的孩子是“活在当下”的，他们无法想象超出当下的未来会发生什么，所以，轮流玩玩具的概念——等别的小朋友玩过了再玩——对这个年龄的孩子来说，毫无意义。

Your almost-2-year-old may also be skittish around adults. While some toddlers are quite outgoing and tell anyone who will listen about their newest toy, many kids this age are intimidated by unfamiliar people. And why shouldn't they be? Grownups are much taller, louder, and more assertive than your toddler and his peers.

快2岁的孩子在大人面前可能也会有点易受惊吓。虽然有些孩子很外向，会把自己新玩具的事告诉任何愿意听的人，但很多这个年龄的孩子，容易被陌生人吓着。为什么不会呢？成年人比孩子们要高得多，说话也大声得多，也显得更自信。

When you host a party at home, for example, your child may bury his face behind your skirt and say nothing to your guests, or he may even cry and run out of the room. If he doesn't seem sociable, he's not testing you and being impolite, he's merely exercising his toddler right to take things slowly. Although feeling comfortable around older people is a good skill for your toddler to develop, there's no hurry. Your child will let you know when he's ready to sit on his auntie's lap or chat with your best friend.

比如，当你在家里举办聚会派对时，你的孩子可能会把脸埋在你裙子后面，什么也不肯和你的客人说，甚至可能会哭着跑出房间。如果他看起来不善于交际，他并不是在考验你，也不是不礼貌，他只是在施行作为孩子需要慢慢来的权利。和大人在一起并感到舒适，是你的孩子应该发展的一项很好的技能，但请你不要着急。你的孩子会让你知道他什么时候准备好了，可以坐在姑妈的腿上了，或者什么时候可以与你最好的朋友聊天了。

25 to 30 months / 25到30个月龄

Kids tend to become even more self-centered between the ages of 2 and 3. They don't yet have the emotional maturity to be able to put themselves in other people's shoes, and they assume that everyone feels the way they do.

孩子们在2到3岁之间会变得更加以自我为中心。他们的情绪能力还没有成熟到能够设身处地为别人着想的程度，他们认为每个人的感受都和他们自己一样。

As your child gains experience around other children, she starts to get the hang of sharing and taking turns. She may not be generous all the time, but she can learn to let her playmates go before her on the slide, for example, or take the first cookie. But her attempts are still tentative, and she just as easily asserts her dominance the next minute.

当你的孩子从周围小伙伴们的身上获得经验时，她开始学会分享和轮流玩这些事情。她可能不会总是慷慨大方，但她可以学着让她的玩伴排在她前面滑滑梯、或者拿第一块饼干。但她的尝试仍然是试探性的，她很可能在下一分钟就会彰显自己的控制权。

At this age, your toddler also may start to single out one or two friends she cherishes. When you watch her with them she may not seem particularly fond of them – she may even spend much of her time howling – but she probably mentions these friends at home, says goodnight to them out loud, and recognizes them with glee when she sees photos of them. It's her way of letting you know that these are the children who have made an impact on her. They're her best buddies – at least as much as toddlers can be to each other.

在这个年龄，你的孩子也可能开始挑选一两个珍爱的朋友。虽然当你看到她和他们在一起的时候可能看起来并不是特别喜欢他们——甚至可能大部分时间是在大喊大叫——但她可能会在家里提到这些朋友，大声向他们道晚安，当她看到他们的照片时，会高兴地认出他们。这就是你孩子的方式，从而让你知道这些孩子对她产生了影响。他们是她最好的朋友——至少从同龄孩子之间相处的方式来说。

While it may seem like a lost cause to try to teach a 2-year-old manners, your toddler is starting to learn the importance of social niceties. She may refuse to say "hello" to your neighbors when you introduce her, or forget to say "thank you" when her uncle gives her a toy for her birthday. But then again, she may run back a few minutes later and say "hi" or give her uncle a giant hug.

去教一个两岁大的孩子社交礼仪可能是徒劳的，但你的孩子已经开始学习社交礼仪的重要性了。当你向邻居介绍她时，她可能拒绝说“你好”，或者当她的叔叔送一件玩具作为生日礼物给她时，她忘记了说“谢谢”。但话又说回来，她可能会在几分钟后跑回来说“嗨”，或者给她叔叔一个大大的拥抱。

There's nothing wrong with her behavior – she'll pick up these rules of polite society gradually over the next couple of years. If you continue to treat her with respect, she'll learn how to treat others the same way.

她的行为没有错——在接下来的几年里，她会逐渐学会这些文明社会的规则。如果你继续尊重她，她就会学会如何以同样的方式对待别人。

31 to 36 months / 25到30个月龄

Ever catch your little one deep in conversation with a pretend friend? Don't worry – imaginary friends are normal at this age and pave the way for making real friends. He's learning how to form deep attachments with someone besides you, something you'll want to encourage.

你有没有注意到你的小家伙自言自语，和一个假想的朋友深入交谈？别担心——在这个年龄想象中的朋友是正常现象，这为孩子以后结交真正的朋友铺平了道路。他正在学习如何与你之外的人，建立深厚的感情，这是你想要鼓励的。

At this age, your toddler is fine-tuning his relationships with real friends, as well as imaginary ones. He's becoming more in tune with others, especially you. He senses when you're feeling disappointed, for example, and will point out that "Mommy's sad."

在这个年龄，你的孩子正在调整他与真实朋友、与想象中朋友的关系。他和别人，尤其是和你，越来越合拍。例如，当你感到失望时，他会指出“妈妈很伤心”。

But he's not very good at it yet. He may laugh when he sees his playmate trip on the sidewalk or won't want to console his brother when he cries. That's because he has yet to fully develop the cognitive skills necessary to be put himself in another person's shoes, the foundation of empathy. But that doesn't mean you can't model kind, empathetic behavior. You're his best teacher.

但他还不太擅长。当他看到玩伴在人行道上摔倒时，他可能会笑，或者当他的弟弟哭的时候，他并不想去安慰弟弟。这是因为他还没有完全发展出换位思考所必需的认知能力，而换位思考是同理心的基础。但你应该在他面前示范善良、善解人意的行为，你就是他最好的老师。

Some of your lessons in manners may sink in before his third birthday. If you've been modeling considerate behavior all along, he's likely to show glimmers of it now, when his mind has begun to grasp the importance of being kind to others. But it's still unpredictable, because he's still a changeable, evolving toddler.

在孩子三岁生日之前，你做出的一些礼仪示范，可能就会被他理解。如果你一直在示范善解人意的行为，当他开始意识到善待他人的重要性时，他很可能会表现出体贴他人的曙光。但这仍然是不可预测的，因为他仍然是一个易变的、不断地发展的孩子。

What comes next / 接下来是什么

Around age 3, when your child moves from toddler-hood to the preschool years, she'll turn another corner, becoming more confident, independent, and reasonable (at least for the most part). Preschoolers, while still needing your guidance, love, and attention, are better able to communicate their needs and wants, reducing tantrums. Your child's curiosity will rev up too, as she tries to figure out how everything works – from the toaster to her pet rabbit.

3岁左右，当你的孩子从幼儿期过渡到到学前期的时候，她会有一个新的转变，变得更加自信、独立和理性(至少在大部分情况下)。学前儿童仍然需要你的指导和关爱，但他们已经能够更好地表达自己的需求和愿望，发脾气的情况会减少。孩子的好奇心会加快发展，因为她会试图弄清楚一切事物是如何运作的——从烤面包机到她的宠物兔子。

Kids naturally love and gravitate toward other people, especially other children. As your child grows, she'll learn how to respond to others in social situations, and her enjoyment of their company will likely grow. Children this age learn a tremendous amount from watching and interacting with others. When your child understands how to empathize with other children and appreciates how much fun it is to have playmates, she'll develop truer, more lasting friendships.

孩子们天生喜欢他人并被他人吸引，尤其是被其他孩子们吸引。随着孩子的成长，她将学会如何在社交场合对他人做出反应，她对其他孩子们的陪伴也会越来越感到开心。这个年龄的的孩子从观察别人、和别人的互动中学到了很多。当你的孩子懂得如何和其他孩子们共情，懂得有玩伴是多么有趣的一件事时，她就会发展出更真实、更持久的友谊。

When to be concerned / 何时该产生关切

If your toddler (1 to 3 years old) seems overly aggressive and is incapable of spending time with other children without biting, hitting, or pushing them, you may want to discuss these behaviors with his pediatrician. These responses often arise out of fears or insecurities, such as when a parent is absent or a move is imminent. While all kids can become unfriendly to others, especially when they're fighting over toys or are overly tired, it's unusual for them to be aggressive all the time.

如果你的孩子（1到3岁）看起来过于好斗：和其他孩子在一起时，没办法不咬、不打，不推别人，那么你或许应该和儿科医生讨论这些行为。这些反应通常来自恐惧感或不安全感，比如当父母缺位，或者即将搬家时。虽然所有的孩子都可能变得对别人不友好，尤其是当他们为玩具争吵，或者当他们过度疲劳时，但是如果孩子总是表现出攻击性，那就是不同寻常，家长应该投以关切了。

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来源：https://www.babycenter.com/0_toddler-milestone-socialization_11742.bc

译者：吴和平

版权：英文版原文版权归属babycenter网站所有，中文版仅为个人学习使用，转载的读者请注明出处，感谢！