Singing Snowberg
Chapter Seven
Lost Language <5>
Chros©
“This is my story.” “I guess he never understands why you left... until I told him we’re lovers together.” Salix is not surprised, “so he should know why I left, that’s good.”
This town is in a desert. There’re empty stores on the streets, few people sit on the stool under the front side of the buildings. The lizards on the street outnumber the people visible. Hot wind is blowing with sands rolling on the road.
“I should visit Sunder.” Salix squints at a familiar restaurant on my left side and speaks, “she refused seeing you, because of the depression I suppose.” “Oh I remember now, she quitted everything, stopped going to the bar, stopped smoking. She told me she was about to go home.”
Salix and Diego went into a bar, and everything around us is now beginning to fade. Salix holds my arms, we slide open the memory, back into the night.
The intermittent singings of frog and insect, the sound of waves, are getting clearer into my ears. The full moon above the sea is unexceptionally huge, I don’t remember how was the last time I saw it, perhaps that’s smaller than this.
Sunder is standing still as a statue, the edges of her clothes are swaying in the wind, make her looked skinny. I want to know what’s in her mind right now, and I want her to tell me more about her philosophy.
She looks up into the deep sky where are strewn with stars. “I’m disappointed, something hasn’t changed since last time I was here, not the same town, but I could sense it. Something has been missing for too long.” I’m curious about what’s she speaking, “can you describe it?” “No, no. It’s something dark, like a song, that song is still going on. Perhaps that’s a good thing for the people who live here.” She turns to face me, “you will miss me. And remember to accept how life is not only to accept the current self, but also to have a heart that cherishes the past and and the grace to face the unknown. It never concerns about love, you’re a deer walking through the forest.”
She walks onto the sea without hesitation. The little waves are reflecting the moonlight, white threads moving like the falling snow perceived from behind the vapour-clouded glass. Their shapes as a whole from the distance is a white mountain covered in snow. She’s walking towards that snowberg. Something is expelling from my body, I’m deflating.
“She’s gone.” “Yes, she’s gone. By the way this is the first time I saw her, I’ve heard from you about her, but I thought she’s that Japanese girl.” “She’s a philosopher, in her previous life she called herself Nietzsche. She was the sunshine in my heart.” “Oh Cyano, you have a romantic heart. I love it.”
We start to walk on the beach, she said I’m a deer walking in the forest? I really have no idea about the last part of her words, or, where we’ll be, both Sunder were removed from my life. “Do you think Sunder will speak to me again?” Salix shakes his head, puts his arms behind his head, “maybe yes. She’s a strange girl, wouldn’t let anyone help her. You told me she hadn’t hurt anyone, but she didn’t think that way.” “That’s the heaviest burden in her life, she has to bear it even it’s indeed not her fault. She’ll be stronger, though it depends on how she saves herself.”
We arrive at the foot of the lighthouse, it looks like a tower with many windows. Some of them have light from inside, I think it’s also for dwelling. As Salix walks onto the white stairs that circle the lighthouse I remember this was our dwelling spot. The gate to the upmost room that’s placed with the light is locked.
“I want to stay longer. You get cleaned first, okay?” I hear his footsteps behind me walk inside one of the rooms. This is an enormous building, now I’m at the end of its long corridor, where I can see the beam of strong light from above. I reach out and look down to feel the thrill. If this isn’t true, if I jump out, if I die here, will I be able to wake up? Or get back in time? Or just die in my bed. This thought is strange, how could a safeguard dies of drowning, and a botanist dies of poison, or a dreamer dies in his dreams? Anyhow I don’t have the courage to jump, little bit of thrill is enough.
I close the half-opened window, the sudden quietness is deafening my ears. Few seconds later my hearing becomes sensitive, this body is driving to my cell. I can’t listen to this voice, There’re much more back in this time. I’m hearing murmurs from these doors.
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