Singing Snowberg
Chapter Seven
Lost Language <9>
Chros©
And I remember he says, “my grandma said that kindness is born natively, but an ability hardest to retain when we age. It’s about to care every true feeling. You do it perfectly. To walk through a forest of universe, to live on and to keep the beauty at the same time is hard and all the while never doubt our own kindness.... Qui-co-lay qui-co-lay ya-lo-ik ya-lo-ik....”
He’s holding my hands as he speaks, it means, “I love your kindness, and never abandon it.”
And I don’t know where or when this was happening, he tore apart the hospital room and refreshed himself with new clothes on. “Devo, I can’t see my body, why?”
“Cyano listen to me, this is your last imagination about us, last lucid dream. It doesn’t mean you will forget us forever, you could still say hello to us by remembering us. To be clear in the dreams is harmful for your mental health. Both sides of reality are different. However what doesn’t change is every time you think about us you will be as happy as seeing us with true eyes.
I’m a magician now. Do yo want a magic show? Okay, before we start, I’m going to cover the stars and myself. I will guide you through voice. This is Uyuni at night, but we can’t see anything to make sure. Uyuni is a place for only one person.
You’re left alone now.
Born in summer, love the summer breeze, afraid of the coldness, fond of rain and the winter tranquility. It’s contradictory to put these together, but the contradiction hides in every instance.
Wheat grains vernalised in the cold water, their sprouts get stronger after covered by the winter snow, they need sunshine too.
‘Yin’ and ‘Yang’ were originally as one in Taoism, not Black-or-White, but a ring of rope that has numberless different shades of grey that conjugating the two into a loop. If you stand in the middle of the loop, black and white are not important anymore. At this level, the world is in chaos. Though the world is already out of the chaos eons ago, just that ancient state is an indivisible shadow adhering every mortal body. The only way to get rid of the chaos is to rip apart a thing, and to define the separated.
Initiate your vision.
Boundless blackness, a grey globe is floating in midair. Cut it with a sharp knife in the middle. The separated hemispheres are wanting the other part, but the separation is eternal, unable to stitch up. Paint one side into black; and cut it again for the other side. Paint one portion into white. Cut again. Paint again….
Once alone in this place, just you, the loneliness has meanings because of it. Why? Try to reason this: the relationship between Coldness and Warmth is close. Please just think.
For ‘Loneliness’, in case that it’s a concept already freed itself from the human invention, so it was severed before. The opposite of it, ‘Non-loneliness’? ‘The happy feeling when chatting with someone else’?
Then how to call the thing that combines both?
Imagine a piece of cloud. Separated in two by a gust of wind, one half is your loneliness, the other half is the opposite of it. In fact they don’t need names because you already know what they represent, however what’s the significance to conclude them?
‘Love’? Could it be severed? Let’s try.
First you have to think about its meaning. Can’t find the answer at once? Why? Because it doesn’t have an entity and it is the most abstract concept, anything good has a connection to it. Light, warmth, non-loneliness. The feelings you are feeling is love when I mentioned them. Then, how to cut love? I’ve cut it already.
The feeling of light. The feeling of warmth. The feeling of non-loneliness.
What you need to do is to go on separating them. Into. Minor. Seg. Ments.
Is this something irony? Try to ask: why to separate love? Family love, friend love, affection and so many. What’s the point?
‘Loneliness’. ‘Coldness’. ‘Warmth’. Draw two equations with these three words.
Equation One: Feeling cold when theres’s only you, thus Coldness equals to Loneliness.
Equation Two: The sun is lonely and warm, thus Loneliness equals to Warmth.
Now three of them are equal to each other.
Drawing equations is farfetched and ridiculous, and that’s what we always do. Might as well to put it this way: ‘bath in the cool wind, makes me happy; hide under the covers, body gets warmer.’ I think these makes sense.
As a result, you will hear vague songs in this darkness, not so clear, not entirely rhymed verses, novels without ends, movies without heroins…. They are everything. If we have to give them a name, I would like to call them ‘verses of darkness’. If you like you could call them something like ‘songs of darkness’. Anyway just a concept.
In this way, does it make sense to figure out the feelings you feel when you are alone? In the base negating this question, coldness is warmth is coldness also warmth with coldness and warmth….
In the end look at yourself, imagine you are that ball, a self-warming ball. Do you want to be severed? Or be classified? To be painted into other colours?
How much left that were your true colours?”
I was projecting questions when he spoke his last words, none of them hit the answer, and then we both fell into silence. We knew that’s our last conversation and it won’t go on anymore as I left them behind.
Coldness is warmth, we never need more after all.
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