Singing Snowberg
Chapter Five
Arioso <4>
Chros©
Sunder tears apart the illusion and gives me her hand. “No. I want to play.” But there’s an invisible force pushing me out of this illusion, I’m torn apart with the past Cyano in the ultimate pain. They’re still playing, look how happy they were. I’m furious, pounding the earth with my fists.
“You’re mad not for the departure, but for no answer from her. Had you ever loved her?” “I don’t know, I lost everything about her.” “How do you feel about her? Depend on the recovered memories.” “She died! Died!” “Do you miss her?” I’m going to explode, my body can’t hold this much energy. Cyano wake up wake up, no more past.
Sunder is sitting on the grass looking at the sea, “you’re weak.” Yes I’m weak, I always needed help. Salix gives me a red leaf, “here, touch it.” I can’t put my anger on him, so I lay down sprawling on the grass. The light is strong, he creates a shadow with his arms for me. “Salix, you don’t always have to be nice to me, I need to face it on my own, protection made me weak.” “Not everyone has to grow up, I’m with you always.” Perhaps he’s right about it. “And it’s right to be weak?” He smiles in the dazzling sunlight, “yes, to be a romantic guy needs to sail against the current. You did it so well.” Did I? He continues, “I’m real in your imagination. You created me, that means you’re strong enough to face everything. Remember? Live for life and love. Remember you goals and you’ll never lose faith.”
Cyan is sitting by the tombstone making something, she puts the straw together, makes a knot, and another, cuts the ends. Sunder speaks from a distance, “what are you going to make?” “A monkey.” But in end end she made a doll looks like a combination of several strings of sausage. “You did well.” The girl doesn’t respond, puts that doll on the base of the tombstone, put her both palms together with eyes closed. She’s making a wish.
Sunder walks down towards the shore alone, everything here fades into vague. We have to follow her. But Salix insists to stay, “how are you feeling?” “I want to know how she died. And, how was I feel about her departure.” “It depends on you. You’re free to go any corners of your memories. If you can’t remember that’s because you’re not ready.”
By the seashore she looks up at the lighthouse and says, “there was a person, he cared me, like a sun. But he had left, I was… I was so lonely because he was the only whomever willing to offer help. But everything had happened to us was like a curse that never leads things to a good end, he never told me why he left, and I never have been stopping wonder why. Now I’m relieved, because I realised people can’t live for things. You expect something to come, when it comes you feel happy, while it doesn’t, you think you have nothing. What has to come will come, what never will come is also acceptable. I lived for love, when it went away I was nothing; I lived for life, when I went against the current I became a mad woman. I live for nothing.”
She stands in the long shadow of that lighthouse, the reflection from the sea surface lightens her figure, or say she has her own light. A person always needed to have light inside, that’s our own strength supports us whenever it’s dark. Only selves could save selves. I understand why she said I’m weak, because Salix is my light.
I was woke up, there’s a knocking on the door, Salix has the key, then who? “Cyano, I’m Devo.” Oh Devo, I have to get up, stupid body. I reach my keychain and take off the room key, throw to the door, it slips out right under the door, perfect.
He is clutching a bag, “hi Cyano, I heard you’re not well, so….” he takes out some snacks like a magician, and! A tiny chunky plant! It looks like a blue flower. “Oh… you’re a nice person.” I don’t know what to say. “Hum… does this flower need sunlight?” “It’s called succulent plant, a little sunlight is enough, water him once a week.” “Good, where did you get it?” “I bought it in the mall from a Mexican.” “Must be expensive.” “Yes.”
I heard the door opened behind Devo. “Cyano I’m back, how do you feel honey?” Since when he called me honey? And this is not appropriate. “Oh… hi, how are you?” Salix puts down the lunch on the table and says, “I’ll go have my lunch, I haven’t eat, yet.”
“So… he….” “Oh… yeah, we call each other like that, we’re close.” He stands up, “then, see you next time.” He looked me for a few seconds and left, does he mind? Oh no good, he found out.
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