Singing Snowberg
Chapter Four
Backlashes <1>
Chros©
Morph was right, I have to face it. The time I live is the time I face. And Salix, is another possibility of my existence, we both are living in reality. I admit his existence but I just have to stop lying to myself that he’s another entity. We’re born together, and special as one, living in a same body.
When I was lying by his side that early morning, when the artificial sunlight shone over the golden fuzz on his face, I finally remembered the rest of our conversation happened yesterday afternoon.
“You need me do your legs? Or just go straight for your back?” “Wherever, I don’t feel pain.” Liar Salix, you’ve taken them all away.
“You can’t take them all away, I need them I could hold them I’m imperfect without them.” “I don’t want you get hurt.” “We hold them together, we’re one, I don’t want you in pain either.” “You can’t be defeated, otherwise I won’t survive.” “Me either.”
We hugged, I hugged myself. I’ll never be alone.
These days I was always in the middle of recollections, I’m happy that Salix gave them back to me. I hadn’t been able to recall them for some days, the time passed without them were happy, suppose I’ll take them to make Salix happy. They’ve been the constant backfire slashing back on end. I have to take it, Salix and me, we have to take it.
Alice was only a phantom of mine, a part of my memory, not horror movies, but true relation. There’re so many covered that I didn’t know who she is. But this morning I got a clue when Lazy and I were giving her a visit.
“I’m your sister. You really can’t remember? I was Aliciasa Gram.” Yes I had a sister, I started to think about her face, yes, identical to this girl. “Hum, nice to see you again.” Salix, is this girl we talked about yesterday? Oh don’t be a jerk Cyano, hug her.
“Goodbye brother, I’m going back.” To where? “Your long-forgotten memories, I like it there, we had so much fun together. Please don’t disturb me again, I don’t want to live in a madhouse.” When she turned around, I saw clearly her tears reflecting the thunderbolt’s light, just a fraction of a second, there’s no light anymore, she’s gone. I never thought about her, even I did, the way she appeared was a stranger in the strange crowd.
“I love books, I read them one after one.” “Shut up Salix, I already knew that.” “But I don’t think the more I read the richer I am.” “What you’ve seen made who you are.” “Then what you normally see.” “Do you know? I don’t see nothing, I keep myself, aware of myself.” “Jerk Cyano, what about me?” “Then where are you come from? I don’t remember at all.” “I’m your Runner!” Let’s find him.
The real Salix is sitting in the corner alone, I take my food plate and sit next to him. “I remember you, you’re Cyano.” “I remember you, too.” We had some irrelevant talks about our job, but finally I need a confirmation, just can’t resist it, “are you queer.” “Eh... do you mean...,” he’s a little embarrassed. “Yes.” “How to say... perhaps maybe.” “Cool, do you like me?” He watched my eyes for some time, I guess he’s judging me. Cyano how dare you, this is real world! Oh come on poor Salix don’t you want us to be physically in heaven with this gorgeous man before us?
“I’m confused....” I cut in, “do you want sex?” His eyes flickered, he’s definitely moved. “But I never....” “I’ll teach you.” Cyano you’re going to kill a family! “Are you married?” He shakes his head, “Could we go to my place?”
FR44, a good room, but no window. He’s clumsy, when I mount his body he says, “no, I’ll do... the....” Okay Cyano let me take charge. This real Salix is a relatively shy man, maybe Runners don’t have to communicate too much. But after this kind of people were kicked on, they could be fierce.
I don’t know how long from last time he had sex with someone, maybe as long as me. Unlike mine, his desire has its form, a thing that’s necessary that he has to catch it, to touch it and revel in it. When I’m with him I knew this is not what I want, it’s just a fuck. Cyano you jerk, he could fall in love with you, his soul is pure, maybe he was hurt before.
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