Singing Snowberg
Chapter Four
Backlashes <5>
Chros©
Lamps were lighted in the nearby vehicle tunnel, few seconds later a colourful caravan drives towards us, stripes of different colours flying around it. “Beautiful car.” It’s magic. Great things we see make us happy in the moment, and I wonder what makes us happy. Is it the appearance? Yes, definitely. But it’s too shallow in this way. It doesn’t only gives you the impact, but also revives happiness in the past, creates a temporal dimension of the past and future.
When the darkness comes, “Cyano, you’re a good thinker.” “To think is necessary.” “Yes, you’re creating a space for yourself.” “But it’s a waste of time.” To know we’re alive is by the thinking, but when we’re not in the thoughts, we’re meaningless creatures. Salix is also a talented thinker, “people are true themselves when they are alone.” I have to ask, “are you yourself when you are with me?” “I don't know, maybe I am who you want me to behave.” Bullshit, Salix you were trying to control me. “But I never did.” This is true, he never did.
The sky behind the mountain ranges are dark blue, about to wake up while it’s in a true slumber. The mountains are creatures in this vast desolation, but the only things they do are sitting and watching. The deep colours are awakening, giving way to the coming golden that’s pushing upward. Salix says, “I prefer the dawn blue.” I look at him, his eyebrows hair and eyelashes are tinted with pure gold from the lamp light above. His looks are perfect in every perspectives, I don’t want no one else, he is enough. “I agree. I already have all the things that make me happy in the past, in my memory, why would I crave for anything more?”
Above the mountains, the golden starts to cast his magic on the mountains, the beauty is waking up.
Lazy is scratching my arms impatiently. “Okay, let’s move.” I cast a last glimpse over those mountains, misty grey.
Willowen is watching outside, there’s no window in his room, so he’s watching at the door. “How old are you?” “I’m 45 and you?” He doesn’t have too much hair left on his head, he has thin lips and grey moustache. “You’re too young to be here because you’ll change through time.” “No. I won’t change.” “Solcia once said so.” She drew him a rose, a very simple one. “Do you always draw roses to each other?” He sighs, “I’m not sure how long this will last you know people change.” “What happened?” “She was a writer never stop writing for one day.” “I just had seen her writing.” This skinny man seems shocked at my words, I guess he doesn’t know anything about her. “You two just send roses, but why don’t you write something to each other?”
I went to room 968 playing Gobang with Chun afterwards. She is the best Gobang player. “You played it a lot?” “Yes. I played with my grandma all the time.” She’s in a nostalgic state, starting her story telling. I love listening to stories, the past of their lives are attracting like new worlds to travel.
But curiosity has its limits, some unknown things are too scary to see, especially in a wrong time. When I said goodbye to Chun and was out of her room, finding Lazy was gone. At the end of this corridor there’s the room 1000, I still have curiosity for it, right now is not right, maybe next day, next week? It could be an uninhabited room, like 574.
After dinner, I start to wonder the previous days. One of the days when I was knocking at the door of FR44 and yelling, why wasn’t the real Salix response? Was he not there? Oh and I remember Runner can’t fall in love. Stop Cyano, these are not true memories. But I remember, how to explain this? Hum... go ask the real Salix.
I bought two bottles of beer with me, it’s awkward to go into his place and ask questions. “Want a drink?”
I turn on the player, snap open the bottle for him. “Salix, one night I was knocking at your door....” “I don’t know, maybe I wasn’t... yeah.” “Where would you go 10 o’clock at night?” “Hang out with friends… I’m joking.” He looks cute now, I want a bite. He’s trying to avoid my eyes.
“What were you doing? Reading? El amor en los tiempos del cólera. What does it talk about? Hum? Yes, it is, they are…..” I have nothing to do, it’s a miracle I made it to 10 o’clock, just with music and a chitchat.
“Can I stay?” I climb up his bed, the way he watches me is strange but I know he’s happy. Then I take off my clothes, “it’s cold, I need warmth.” I take his right arm over my waist to the belly. When we’re settled, hearing our breaths in the darkness, imagining this would last forever.
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