Singing Snowberg
Chapter Four
Backlashes <9>
Chros©
It’s midday when the sun is just starting to work his magic, when we go out into the snow. Every time I’m here is a different me with a different feeling, but I won’t lose control this time. Salix tucks Lazy in his chest, only his head is hanging out with big wandering eyes. Salix has to cover Lazy’s head to prevent the falling snow.
“Do you feel cold?” I place the rug inside his wind coat, leave a bit above Lazy’s head. “No. I’m warm enough.”
We head straight to the spot where has the view of the snowberg. The snow-covered forest is penetrating with silence, except the wind. We don’t have to be very careful because there’re no slippery surface.
“Talk to me.” I don’t know why I said it, I’m feeling comfortable now. “About what?” “Anything.” “I talk specific things.” He talks like a scientist, perhaps he’s too much in himself, or like Devo speaking, scientist tell no chitchat. “Then tell me about your family, where exactly do you come from?”
He pauses for a while, seems like pondering about many things, scratching his head, but Lazy feels uncomfortable with this, shrinks back into his coat, only a pair of green eyes are visible. “I’m an orphan.” Oh, I didn’t expect this. The silence in the woods are getting stronger, I’m muted. “I was in a great school, and I did many jobs, cars, fruits, churros, tickets, I had experienced them all. The last was volunteering, last year I quitted and came here.” He’s been through a lot, “you see the world, after all.”
Salix didn’t tell me where does he come from, but for an orphan it doesn’t matter. “Do you feel lonely before you met him?” Patting Lazy’s head, he says, “yes, I was desperate, I couldn’t find meaning in life. He changed me, told me there’re lots of things worth living for.” I’m surprised, that man doesn’t have to be a bad man. “He told you things.” I see his smile rendering on his expression. I’m not certain if it’s because of the wind, his face is red. “Yes. Many things, we shared our stories before our lives. And he cared much about me.” So he had grown affection towards him, but what that man could offer was not what Salix expected, “so he turned you down. Do you hate him?” “No… people were designed their ways, you can’t blame him.”
The wind stops suddenly, utter silence swims over the woods. I do feel good, because I knew more about him, we’re closer. I hug him from his back, “I’ll be here, always.” I’m trying to ease his loneliness, I think I’m into this relationship. How closer two people could get? Maybe it’s about the full understanding for each other, I don’t know, this is close enough, but we need more information from the other side. I seldom talk about myself, maybe this is why I was too far away from people, even my families. Is this my mechanism?
We finally reach the lake side when the sun hangs low on that mountain top, like a sunrise. He sits down by the water, tears streaming out. I never seen his moments like this, he’s uncontrollably sentimental this moment. I stand at his back to give him a space. I remember what Sunder said about the previous happiness, is the potential unhappiness after. But what about those previous unhappiness? Sure we don’t normally recall unhappiness, that’s why we all live in the right-now. Right now this is necessary for him to express.
Come on Salix talk to me, anything! Don’t leave your back to me, otherwise I’ll think you’re another phantom Salix. And this is real, everything, I’m capturing every second into my brain, Cyano take a picture of him and the magic mountain. Yes just like this. You won’t let them slip away into the abyss or else you’ll have to find them in your sleep and that’s not acceptable.
“I feel like a lucky person,” he finally spoke, with a humid tone, “few days ago I thought I have nothing and suddenly now have everything I ever wanted. All of my previous mundane works and meaningless loneliness seem to worth it.”
I see. Every previous unhappiness is a potential happiness creator.
“That’s why you cried.” I can’t imagine how he will become if he loses me, his mechanism are working again. Should I say it’s a bad thing? “Let’s walk.” We start to walk along the shore, we want to circle around this lake, if not, just reach the other side where the mountain foot is.
Snow is a beautiful phenomenon, for those who’d never seen or known it must be a miracle. Sunder told me she’d never seen a snow for where she lived never snow, thus for her it must be thrilling to see. She imagined snow, watched them on television, or in her dreams, but I think you must be personally in the scene, it’s different if you really touch and see even smell it with your own body organs, not just imagination. I’ll bring a snow for her to feel.
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