Singing Snowberg
Chapter Four
Backlashes <3>
Chros©
“What?” “I’m wasting my time on you.” What a hot talk! He’s laughing so happily, “it’s the sweetest words.”
People hug together for warmth, but I’m afraid this is too hot for us. “Salix, are you sure you’re in love? We just had a sex.” “But I think you like me?” “I do.” He speaks no words afterwards. I hurt his feeling. “I didn’t mean what you think it means, if we want this relationship we’re going to make sure.” Silence. I turn off the artificial sunlight, “good night.” Silence.
When I was about to get into the sleep, in between the soberness and slumber, I felt him arms circled around me. There’s a different kind of warmth that my inner Salix can’t give, circling around and around.
I’m dreaming again! I’m back in Uyuni again! This is a cloudy day, The sun is not visible in the sky.
“Cyano, close your eyes.” What? Who? This is a strange voice, I can’t tell anything from it. “Why?” Silence. Then I know who the speaker is, Sunder, she doesn’t like questions. Alright, my eyes are closed. “I’m going to give you more mysteries, because you’re forgetting things.” Yes, no doubts. “Forgetting is the most despicable nature of human.” This is way too much, if you say so, I’m the most despicable person. “Open your eyes.”
“Sunder! You’re back you’re back!” I know what she’s going to say, “I’m always here.” “If you want to give me something, how about now?” “Good things worth waiting, now I want a walk with you.” She needs company, this is somewhat unbelievable. She opens her umbrella, “I’m wondering how do you think of me.” There’s an olivine place at the far edge of the mirror, we’re walking towards there. “You’re like a teacher and a prophet to me.” “Would you like to see my past? My past in China. If you do, tear apart the illusion.”
I’m hesitating, I know she won’t be with me in her past. Anyway, how is it possible a woman I’ve never seen got into my dreams, there’s no plausible explanation apart from the magic. Yes, magic, transcend through time and space, express love and hatred. I’m going to see, even they’re cruel as hell, yeah, I have an ominous feeling about what I’m going to see. “You don’t want them?” “No. I want.” This illusion is harder than Morph, it won’t give away. “Use your anger.” Oh yeah I really want to see! Yi... ya!
I couldn’t see how it broke and sealed, it was too quick that I’m advancing with inertia in a fast speed, hit to the ground. The pain is really authentic. When I open my eyes to see, I’m on a beach, it’s raining and the temperature is low. The sea on my left has few seagulls circling above, there’s a little bridge extending into the sea. Sunder is walking 20 feet or so away from me. “Sunder!” Oh by this time she doesn’t know me, I’m stupid. But magically under that red umbrella she looks back at me and says, “Come, quick, it’s about time.”
I’m confused, how is it possible that she could see me and talk to me? When I catch up with her I knew she’s the Sunder from my dream, I just knew. These memories are controllable for her, but she wouldn’t change it, after all, the results were predestined. In this way she’s the Sunder in the past. She’s trapped inside that body, inside her eyes there’re desperation, and inexplicably, madness.
We walk shoulder by shoulder on the bridge, she gives me her umbrella and suddenly I realised this is reality, we can’t fly, we can’t walk on the water.
At the end of this bridge where the remnant of the bridge leads into the water, she takes out a red book. I’ve seen this book that she read back in Uyuni. She opens to the first page, there’s a painting about a big blue rose in the paddy field. Just like she had practised a thousand times, she’s tearing it page by page, throwing them into the air. Why are you doing this? “To say goodbye.” Strangely I find myself crying with her. She tosses the rest into the water and says, “to say goodbye to the past.”
After that we walked back to her place, but it’s not a house at all, because she lives in an asylum! Just as we’re walking pass the hospital door the sky turns into orange-red in a short time, everything is moving in an unspeakable speed. The time is accelerating, the wines on the walls grow and die and grow and die, years passed.
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