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分享一句中译英翻译思路,帮助你速速脱去春假的油腻,一秒进入工作状态
*此句选自知新共学1月翻译群某日中译英练习段落。
在宁静的氛围里,你的思想有了自由驰骋的空间,
你可以细心坐下梳理你的思绪,检讨你的过失。
先抠词……
宁静的氛围,可以直接说“宁静”,用名词,tranquility,quietness, serenity,也可以用“宁静的”形容词修饰氛围,比如a quiet/tranquil atmosphere/ambience:
the qualities and character of a particularplace and the way these make you feel气氛,情调,环境
pleasant/relaxing/friendly etc ambience
The restaurant’s new owners have created a welcoming ambience.
这家餐厅的新主人营造出一种舒适的气氛。
思想有了自由驰骋的空间,可以改译为“思想可以自由驰骋”,或者照原文顺序,“这宁静的氛围为你的思想提供了自由驰骋的空间”。谓语动词可以选:
run riot:if your imagination, emotions, thoughts etc run riot, you cannot ordo not control them 〔想象、感情、思绪等〕无法控制,不加约束
Manufacturers have let their imaginationsrun riot to create new computer games.
生产商极尽想象之能事,开发设计新的电脑游戏。
或者改译成“想你所想”:to ponder overwhatever interests you
也可以用动宾结构,“释放你的思想”,Free your mind
梳理思绪,动词可以是:
Marshal: to organize your thoughts, ideas etc sothat they are clear, effective, or easy to understand 整理〔思路、想法等〕
marshal your thoughts/arguments etc
He paused for a moment as if to marshal histhoughts.
他停顿了片刻,好像在整理思路。
Clear: To clear your mind or your headmeans to free it from confused thoughts or from the effects of a drug such asalcohol. 使清醒
He walked up Fifth Avenue to clear hishead.
他在第五大街上走,让头脑清醒清醒。
Sort out: If you sort yourself out, you organize yourself or calm yourself so thatyou can act effectively and reasonably. 使平静
We're in a state of complete chaos here andI need a little time to sort myself out.
我们这儿处于一片混乱之中,我需要一些时间让自己平静下来。
检讨过失,动宾结构,动词可选:review/reflecton/look into/examine faults/mistakes, criticize yourself,注意动宾搭配。或处理成名词:self-criticism。
过失还可以是:
Lapse: a failure to do something you shoulddo, especially to behave correctly
〔尤指举止方面的〕疏忽,过失,过错
He forgot to offer Darren a drink, butMarie did not appear to notice the lapse.
他忘了给达伦倒饮料,玛丽好像也没有注意到这个疏忽。
顺思路……
在宁静的氛围里,你的思想有了自由驰骋的空间,你可以细心坐下梳理你的思绪,检讨你的过失。
思路1:氛围给你的思想提供了自由驰骋的空间,因此,你可以坐下(梳理、检讨作状语)
The tranquil atmosphere leaves your mind full space to drift/wander /offers your mind full freedom to drift/wander so you may sit down, sorting out your thoughts and reviewing your faults.
▲翻译小技巧
中文的逻辑关系藏在字里行间,英文翻译的时候可以适当补充一些逻辑词(so, but...)。
思路2:在宁静的氛围里(地点状语),你的思想(主语)可以自由驰骋,因此,你可以坐下(梳理,检讨做状语)
In the tranquil atmosphere your mind may drift anywhere and you may sit down, sorting out your thoughts and reviewing your faults.
思路3:在宁静的氛围里(地点状语),你可以坐下(梳理、检讨、让思想自由驰骋做状语)
In the tranquil atmosphere, you may sit, sorting out your thoughts, reflecting on your faults, with your mind drifting, unrestrained.
▲翻译小技巧
先确定一个主要动作做句子谓语(坐下sit),即确定句子主干。然后将剩余所有动作状态作状语处理(梳理、检讨、驰骋)。
思路4:安静的氛围给你的思想自由驰骋的空间,也给你梳理思绪检讨过失的空间
The tranquil atmosphere leaves full space for your mind to drift and you to sort out thoughts and reflect on faults.
参考译文:
A quiet atmosphere provides your mind with full freedom to travel anywhere it likes, and is most favorable for you to sort out your thoughts or examine yourself and make a self-criticism.
坚持看到这里不容易,奖励一张手绘给你
画作、文字 by 知新共学译友Queen'S
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