Removing Ourselves From the Center of Everything BY LEO BABAUTA
BY刘安娜160816
——说明——
LEO BABAUTA是博客禅习惯（Zenhabits）创始人，专注写作25年，博客文章版权全部公开，这篇文章原文版权还是归属Leo，译文版权归我本人。可以参考译文学习，当然译文只是我的理解，也不一定百分百正确，欢迎发简信或评论讨论，或提供更好译文供参考学习。
——正文——
When we go about our day, we tell ourselves a story about what’s happening … and at the center of that narrative is a single person.
Ourselves.
我们忙碌了一天，讲述日常生活中发生了什么的时候，这故事的中心只有一个人。
那就是我们自己。
When I talk to myself about how so-and-so is inconsiderate or treated me badly, when I tell myself that it’s OK to procrastinate because I’m tired and not in the mood … I’m at the center of this movie. It’s an ongoing story about my life and everything around me, with me at the center.
我对自己说某某不够善解人意，或者对我不好，或者我太累了、心情不好所以可以拖延的时候，我是人生这部电影的主角。它讲述的全是我的人生故事，一切都是绕着我转。
I’m sure you can relate — you’re at the center of your movie as well. It’s natural, and there’s nothing wrong with doing this.
我肯定你有同感——你也是你的人生电影的主角。这很正常，也没什么错。
But some difficulties can arise from this self-centered view of the world:
但这种以自我为中心的世界观可能会有这样的问题：
• We interpret other people’s actions as it relates to us, so that they are helping or harming us … giving us what we want or getting in the way of what we want. But their actions aren’t really about us — their actions are about them, because they are at the center of their own stories. When we interpret their self-centered actions through the lens of our self-centered view, the actions often make no sense, and frustrate, hurt or infuriate us.
我们认为其他人的举动和我们有关，他们要么是帮我们，要么是害我们……给我们想要的或者挡我们的路。但他们的行为其实和我们无关——他们的行为只和他们有关，因为他们也是自己故事的中心。当我们以我们为中心的视角去看别人以他们为中心的行为，就会完全不解其意，感到失落，心塞，或者很生气。
• When someone makes a comment that we take as an attack on something about ourselves … we then feel the need to defend ourselves. “I’m a good person,” we think, “and they shouldn’t imply that I’m not.” But this interpretation is just a self-centered way of looking at it … we could also see it as saying something about the other person. And if we try to understand where they’re coming from, instead of seeing what it says about us, then we’ll be less defensive or offended.
当我们认为别人的评价是对我们某方面的攻击的时候……我们就会觉得需要自我保护。“我人很好的”我们心里想“他们不该暗示我不是个好人”但是这种解读只是一种“从我出发”的观点……我们也可以把它看作是和别人有关的。如果我们试图理解说话者的出发点，而不是认为是对我们的评价，我们就能卸下防备，不那么生气。
• We interpret everything else around us — from bad traffic to Internet comments to terrorist attacks — by thinking about how it affects us. “This sucks (for me),” we think. But we could also remove ourselves from this story and just see that there are things happening in the world, and be curious about them, try to understand them, and see that they are not about us.
我们解读周遭发生的一切——从交通堵塞到网络评语以及恐怖袭击——全都想着对我们有什么影响。“这（对我）太糟了”我们想着。但我们可以把自己从故事中挪走，只将它们看作是这世界上发生的事，抱着一颗好奇心，尝试去理解，而不是看作是以我们为中心的故事。
Again, it’s natural and normal to interpret everything this way … but you can see that it can cause problems, inhibit understanding and empathy, and make us unhappy at times.
我要重申，以（自我为中心）看待一切事物是很普遍也很正常的……但是你要知道这会引发问题，限制了理解心和同情心，经常令我们沮丧。
So what can we do?
所以我们该怎么办呢？
First, become aware of the stories we tell ourselves.
首先，意识到我们如何描述事件。
Next, see that we are putting ourselves at the center.
接下来，看清楚我们把自己当作了中心。
Then see if we can remove ourselves from the center of the story.
然后尝试着把自己脱离开故事中心。
What would the story be without us in it? For me, that story becomes something like:
如果这故事里没有我们会怎么样？对我来说，这故事开始像这样：
• Things are happening — how interesting! What can be learned from them? What can be understood?
事情发生了——太有意思了！这事能教我什么？能领会到什么？
• Someone else is doing something or talking, and it’s probably about them. How can I understand them better?
他们在做事儿或者讲话，很可能与他们有关。我该如何更好地理解他们？
• There is difficulty and unhappiness in what other people are saying and doing. How can I feel compassion for them and offer them love?
别人讲述了（遇到的）困难，发生了不开心的事。我该如何真心同情并相助？
When I remember to do this — and I very, very often don’t — it lifts the difficulty that I’ve been facing internally and shift my focus to understanding and empathizing with other people, seeing how I can give them compassion.
当我记住这么做的时候——我真的经常忘记——我摆脱了内心所面对的困境，将注意力转向理解和同情他人，关注我怎样施加援手。
Of course, I’m not really removed from the story. I’m still there, but just not necessarily at the center of it. Instead, I focus more on my interconnectedness with everyone else, everything else, and see that they have supported me in becoming the person I am, and that I can support them as well.
当然，我并不是真的从故事中脱离了。我还在故事里，只是没必要做故事的主角。我反而关注我与其他所有人和事件的相互关联，关注他们给予我的支持，帮我成长，而我也会支持他们。
——TIP——
从word中直接复制英文文章到简书文章编辑页面容易出现大量的“单词间空格消失”的情况，也就是复制过来的内容中两个单词贴在了一起，如果逐个查找并添加空格工作量很大而且容易出现遗漏，简易解决方案：先将文档内容复制粘贴到记事本中消除一切格式，再复制粘贴到文章编辑页面。不过我估计使用markdown写文章的小伙伴可能不会有这种问题。
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