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告别中式英语,来一次想说就说的释放(一)

告别中式英语,来一次想说就说的释放(一)

作者: 阿弥牧 | 来源:发表于2019-03-14 20:18 被阅读26次

    同学A是某大学英语专业大一新生。同学B是留学海归,刚任职某外企市场部,以下是二人的一段英语聊天:

    外语赋予我们第二灵魂

    时间:2019/03/01

    地点:某英语聊天群

    A: Hello, today is March 1st. I hope each of us can have a good beginning of this month. Have a nice day.(1)
    B: Thanks. Today I used an automatic machine to take photo, which declares itself as the leading machine in this world. But the photo is super ugly.(2)
    A: What is this?(3)
    B: I used it to take photo for my CV, but too ugly to be used.(4)
    A: Oh, are you looking for the job?(5)
    B: Yeah I quited recently.(6)
    B: If you guys see the machine, don’t even think of trying.(7)
    A: What does it look like?(8)
    B: It’s named APM and it looks like ordinary 大头贴 machine.(9)
    A: Oh, a photo machine, but I can not search it online.(10)
    B: There are a lot in cinemas and metro stations.(11)
    A: Metro?(12)
    B: Yeah, subway station.(13)
    A: Maybe I will pay attention on it next time.(14)

    (一)聊天内容的英语纠错:

    第一句话:没有任何的语法错误,但是典型的中式英语。修改为:I hope each of us can get the month off to a good start.

    同样的意思,用off to a good start这个短语来表达是非常地道的。看一下两个例句:

    I'm off to a good start, but I still need to focus a lot in order to win.
    He's off to a good start in the race, but can he keep it up?

    第二句话:这句话说得已经很好了,显示了B同学熟练的语法功底。如果想追求更清晰的表达,可以更改为:I took a photo with an automatic photo machine which declares itself as the leading machine in the world.

    1, 将automatic photo移位,与修饰它的从句的位置更近,这样的表达更清晰。
    2, “in this world” 在英语中是很少用到的。如果想表达世界上独一无二,领先等的意思,均为 “in the world”。
    3, 最后部分的时态要用过去时。这个是一个比较难理解的点,但是因为对照片的评价是过去发生的,所以用过去时。同时将“but”换成“however”更合适:However the photo was super ugly.

    第三句话:对于英语水平不高的同学,群聊天练口语时经常会使用这样的简单问句来继续聊天,其实完全可以顺势表达下对对方的话的反映,这样更自然。这里可以说 “Oh, no way!

    第五句话:这里的 “looking for the job”的冠词要用不定冠词“a”,不是“the”。A同学作为一名大一新生,犯这样的语法错误是合情合理的。

    第六句话:这里的动词quit,过去式也是quit。B同学作为留学海归,这样的错误也是合情合理的。

    第九句话:这里的错误也很常见,即使英语比较好的同学也经常会说错。

    1, “named”变成“called”
    2, “大头贴machine”的英语表达可以是“photo booth”
    3, 缺少不定冠词“an”
    A photo booth

    第十句话:“search”改成“find”。

    第十三句话:在后半句前面加上“like”更地道。

    第十四句话:

    1, 这句话读来很不礼貌。当别人和你分享后,不好说“Maybe”。
    2, pay attention to, 不是 “on”
    3, 这里更合适的说法:I’ll keep an eye out for it next time.

    (二)整段聊天修改稿:

    A: Hello, today is March 1st. I hope each of us can get the month off to a good start. Have a nice day.
    B: Thanks. Today I took a photo with an automatic photo machine which declares itself as the leading machine in the world. However the photo was super ugly.
    A: Oh, no way!
    B: I used it to take photo for my CV, but too ugly to be used.
    A: Oh. Are you looking for a job?
    B: Yeah I quit recently.
    B: If you guys see the machine, don’t even think of trying.
    A: What does it look like?
    B: It’s called APM and it looks like an ordinary photo booth.
    A: Oh, a photo machine, but I can not find it online.
    B: There are a lot in cinemas and metro stations.
    A: Metro?
    B: Yeah, like subway station.
    A: I’ll keep an eye out for it next time.

    从聊天内容上,很明显地看出B同学的英文水平很好,几乎可以达到流利的英语输写聊天。类似高度英语水平的同学要多注意小地方。A同学的英文虽然是初级水平,但却能非常大胆地参与聊天,特别难能可贵,毕竟勇敢张嘴才是攻克英语的利器。


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